Low self esteem is deterring my progress

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How do u overcome low self esteem at the gym especially at the weight machine section? I really want to do weight exercise without feeling like an idiot but I often get intimidated when buffy guys/girls are hoarding those section. I felt like I'm being severely judged or mocked because of my...well, weight issues. Pretty sure nobody is judging anybody but even of they were, it shouldn't matter. I mean...it's none of my business, It shouldn't bug me so much. It's not like I know any of them...

Previously before I stopped going to the gym, things weren't this difficult. Right now it felt like everything just doesn't sync...I don't know where all my confidence gone to since I gained weight...

So how do you overcome these fears? I don't want to to step into the gym and just run on a treadmill...I want to do cardio and weight because the I miss experiencing the...DOM thing and of course lose weight and stay fit...oh god I miss being fit...

:(
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Replies

  • wolverine66
    wolverine66 Posts: 3,779 Member
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    i don't have this problem, really. but if it were me, and i had the ability to go to the gym at any time, i would probably choose a time when it was less crowded. that way you might not feel the pressure of people looking at you. that way you could take a little more time with all the machines, and become proficient at them to the point where you are comfortable. that comfort level, would probably make you more confident and able to work out whenever you wanted.

    the point is, there is something that needs to happen where you can tune everyone else out and just workout for you. if it takes some "practice" sessions in the off hours, then that's okay. remember, most people at the gym didn't arrive already in shape.
  • ems212
    ems212 Posts: 135 Member
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    When you feel people are judging you, take a step back and remember that you are there. There are so many people who aren't, but could be. You made a choice to be there, to better yourself, and to change your life. They shouldn't be looking at you negatively...and if they are, then they should take a step back because I can guarantee none of them started going to the gym looking buff and in shape.

    But, if it's still impacting your comfort, definitely try going at a different time. When I first started working out, I started by going at 4:30 in the morning when NOBODY was there...it was the only way I felt okay. Then I realized that I'm already a step up on a lot of people, because I'm there at the gym.
  • BaoN
    BaoN Posts: 2 Member
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    I'm an early riser; therefore, I tend to go first thing in the morning. I've been doing this for years and I've found that the ones that goes first thing are the truly dedicated and are working towards a goal and they don't 'judge'. I generally roll out of bed and change into work out clothes and go - and I look like a 'hot mess'. I've made some work out friends in the morning so that also motivates me to get out the door. Hope this helps.
  • leadslinger17
    leadslinger17 Posts: 297 Member
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    I am slowly learning that 1) people are paying attention to you way less than you think and 2) not caring what other people think makes you so much happier.
  • WillLift4Tats
    WillLift4Tats Posts: 1,699 Member
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    You just gotta go in there and do it. If going early in the morning doesn't work for your schedule anyways. But seriously, act like you belong there (because you do!) and no one will bat an eyelash. Sure, they might glance up because you're new, but that's it. Pop in some music that gets you pumped, get in, do your thing, and get out. Soon enough you'll forget anyone else is in there with you. Good luck :)
  • 999tigger
    999tigger Posts: 5,235 Member
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    I just focus on why I am there which is self improvement. Everyone starts somewhere and wants to improve. They have all been there.

    I have a plan of exercises to do and I tick them off adjusting the weight as needed and that shows me my progress. If you are going to be deterred by people who are 99% not even noticing you, then go at a time when its less busy or find another gym or think about getting a personal trainer who can start you off.

    Dont let it put you off, just go and do it, then focus on form and avodining injuring yourself. Consistent attendance and effort will enable you to progress. Its pretty straightforward, dont talk yourself out of it.
  • NoelFigart1
    NoelFigart1 Posts: 1,276 Member
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    Chances are slim you'll be mocked.

    If anything, when you start showing up over time, you'll be respected.

    I'm a fat swimmer, so as far as body, there ain't no hidin'. Most of the people who are in the pool when I am are these sleek dolphin types and triathletes.

    No-one gives me a hard time. One of the cool things about early morning exercise is that showing up regularly tends to get respect, even if you aren't a superstar athlete.
  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
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    Let me let you in on a big secret.

    no one cares what you're doing there. Just go in and do it.

    the first time you'll feel awful and self conscious.
    The second time you'll feel slightly less awful- and only kind of self conscious.

    By the time you've done the thing a dozen times- you'll realize what the rest of us do- no one cares and doing what we came to do trumps everything else.
  • iRun_Butterfly
    iRun_Butterfly Posts: 483 Member
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    All you can do is just get in there and act like you own it. Go with a plan and stick with it. I was really intimidated by the weight room at first and I would only use it on "off" hours for the longest time. Once I got comfortable and knew my routine it got so much easier to just walk in there and do my work. You belong in there just as much as all the hard bodies. Lifting weights has been the biggest boost to my self esteem, I think it's a step in the right direction to build confidence, so go get it girl!!
  • AsaThorsWoman
    AsaThorsWoman Posts: 2,303 Member
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    I felt that way at first, but then I went to an all women's gym. No self-consciousness was felt at all when I was there.

    Later I went to an older folks gym (not just older folks, but a lot of them) and no self-consciousness was felt there.

    Now, I'm in a University gym with the students! I do feel a bit of self-consciousness, but I spent so much time lifting around other women and older folks, that I know how to use the machines, and I know I know how to use the machines, so it's not as big of a deal.

    I just walk in there and do my thing, and no one has ever given me any grief.

    I do rejoice when there's another grown-up aka staff or faculty member nearby so I don't feel like the only person in there over 30!
  • llUndecidedll
    llUndecidedll Posts: 724 Member
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    I say this as someone who has felt and still feels the same way as you...

    Honestly, you just have to get over yourself and your insecurities because these feelings won't change in a short period of time.

    Psych yourself up and have fun at the gym. Having great music helps a lot.
  • just_another_day
    just_another_day Posts: 23 Member
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    In a few months/years when you're one of those buff people owning the weight room, are you gonna look down at every newbie carrying around a few extra pounds? No, because that used to be you and you remember what it was like. Chances are, a good number of those buff boys and girls weren't always so buff and totally remember what starting out looked and felt like.
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
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    by making sure that I have confidence in my program and that I comprehend what I am doing in there, what my goals for the day are, the sequence of my program and where everything is.

    If i was walking into a weight room to just move around on different machines all willy nilly with no program or aim or purpose that I respect and understand, I'd wander around like a lost kid too. I have zero desire to be mistaken for a damsel in distress.

    And that's NOT a feeling I can afford when Im in the gym. I'm there to fight demons and level up my superhero abilities. I need to feel solid in my own shoes and my own verbs - and that only comes from knowledge and preparation.
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
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    Once I got comfortable and knew my routine it got so much easier to just walk in there and do my work.
    JoRocka wrote: »
    doing what we came to do trumps everything else.
    BaoN wrote: »
    I've found that the ones that goes first thing are the truly dedicated and are working towards a goal and they don't 'judge'.

    ^

  • whatatime2befit
    whatatime2befit Posts: 625 Member
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    I was in your shoes when I first joined the gym. Was so leary of going into the weight section. For the first while, I went at times when it wasn't too crowded, and I got a few sessions with a trainer to give me some insights on how to use some of the machines.

    I have to admit, i'm still a bit self-conscious at times, when there are all these fit, athletic people there working out, and i'm there with my mom-tummy. I just tell myself that if I don't do it and just do the workout I need to do, then i'm going to stay looking like I do now (which I hate).
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
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    having a mom-tummy will never mean you aren't an athlete :flowerforyou:

  • whatatime2befit
    whatatime2befit Posts: 625 Member
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    Thanks yoovie :)
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
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    also this helped me:

    “The trouble with not having a goal is that you can spend your life running up and down the field and never score.” – Bill Copeland

    Changing my focus and structuring it around achieving something, made the real difference.

    There is 'working out to lose weight' and then there is 'training'. That difference was key to my brain waves.
  • arnold824
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    I know how this feels but luckily my brother was in the army and he has a bunch of weight lifting stuff. As everyone also said, you could try sucking it up and just do what needs to be done but I really understand how hard it is so you can try my suggestion below.

    You can try saving up and have your own mini gym at home. If you're into lifting, the materials doesn't cost that much unless you wanted to use treadmills or something for cardio then you really have to go to a gym. Advantages are you can exercise to your hearts content anytime and feel free to lift without being judged. Disadvantages are well the equipment isn't that good but as long as your muscles are working it makes little difference which type of equipment you use.

    Tips in lifting
    1. Get a good plan and exercise all of the muscle groups. A good plan consists of training different muscle groups everyday so they could have their rest day while you're training other muscle groups.
    2. Form, this is the most important part in lifting. Poor form not only leads to accidents but it also doesn't help you in exercising your targeted muscles at all. Example would be wildly doing the bicep curl with the use of your entire body in like a swinging motion just to get it up and only to immediately drop it. (you can check this as an example of a good form https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ykJmrZ5v0Oo)
    3. Push yourself, this can be the hardest part but it's very rewarding once you're done and you can feel your muscles burning after your workout and during the next 1-2 days but you have to see a doctor if that pain lasts a week because you've likely injured it seriously.
    4. Protein! This is an integral part of muscle building, without it you're basically just wasting your time because muscles can't repair and improve themselves without this guy.
  • cebreisch
    cebreisch Posts: 1,340 Member
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    My husband has had the same fears. I told him he's not going there for a social club and you shouldn't care who thinks what or if anybody's judging you. That isn't why you're there. Really - everyone there is there for the same reason - to get their body in better shape. He got over it really fast, but he was only about 30 pounds overweight at the time. I've still got about 125 or so to go.

    Do not let the idea of what other people might be thinking take away your motivation to get in better shape. You're doing this for you, and you have every right to be there.

    You can do it!