Anyone else motivated by shame?

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Replies

  • js8181
    js8181 Posts: 178 Member
    Thanks. "I did it once" is helping me this time. I slid a little over the summer, too, and just spiraled into some self-hatred. This time I'm ashamed, but able to pick myself up a bit better.

    [/quote]
    Hey you did it once, you can do it again, proof is in the pics! Now get busy & start feeling good about yourself and using that as motivation. See you already have an 'after' photo...some of the rest of us don't. You're already ahead of the game! ;)

    This is a good example to you and all the rest of us that's it's daily, not a one time deal.. we work hard to keep it going so we get healthy and stay healthy. No need to feel shame, you've done some major changes and you already know how to get back there. If anything it's motivation I get from your sharing, that it can be done and I have to stay focused to keep it going.

    Thanks for posting, you helped me <3
    [/quote]

  • TheVirgoddess
    TheVirgoddess Posts: 4,535 Member
    No shame for me. I don't see a point in feeling shame over something I can change with some hard work. Which, when you think about it, applies to almost every aspect of life :)
  • js8181
    js8181 Posts: 178 Member
    I think what I mean, though, is that for better or worse, shame DOES motivate me more than anything else. I wish I knew another way, but when I gain back my weight, my best motivator isn't a happy feeling--it's looking at my gut in the mirror, seeing how my chest isn't as defined, and feeling too fat. Repeating that in my head. When I'm with my wife, thinking that she'd be happier if I was more muscular, even though she never says that.
  • arrrrjt
    arrrrjt Posts: 245 Member
    I think to call it motivation would be almost inaccurate. I like to think of motivation as positive, and shame just doesn't seem positive to me. Plus, you're flexing in the month ago picture! We can't be too hard on ourselves.

    That said, ya, when I'm up a pound or two after a slack week, I use that "motivation" to get my butt to the gym and work harder.
  • sheepotato
    sheepotato Posts: 600 Member
    Shame only motivates me to feel bad about myself, no reason to do that. For me, only encouragement works. If I slack off, I just remind myself I can do it again because I've done it.

    Whatever works for you, using negative reinforcement seems less sustainable and more temporary than positive reinforcement. Just a thought.
  • MagnumBurrito
    MagnumBurrito Posts: 1,070 Member
    You can cut that weight in two months. Nothing to fret about.
  • TheVirgoddess
    TheVirgoddess Posts: 4,535 Member
    js8181 wrote: »
    I think what I mean, though, is that for better or worse, shame DOES motivate me more than anything else. I wish I knew another way, but when I gain back my weight, my best motivator isn't a happy feeling--it's looking at my gut in the mirror, seeing how my chest isn't as defined, and feeling too fat. Repeating that in my head. When I'm with my wife, thinking that she'd be happier if I was more muscular, even though she never says that.

    Right, but if shame is your motivator, aren't you just going to continue this cycle of gaining, feeling shame, losing, gaining, etc? You need to find a motivation to keep that nice stomach and chest.

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