People telling you, you lost enough weight
higgins8283801
Posts: 844 Member
I've lost 33lbs, I was 171 and now am 138. As a 5'2 woman that is still 2lbs above the upper limit of normal. Everytime someone comments on my weightloss they almost follow it up with and don't lose anymore.
Does anyone else experience this? Is it some sort of unintentional "sabatoge"?
Does anyone else experience this? Is it some sort of unintentional "sabatoge"?
0
Replies
-
do what makes you happy, a lot of people are just jealous you had the will power and dedication to get things done, just don't listen to them and do what will satisfy you. I see this happen a lot!0
-
Yes. Ignore them. People don't like change. Perhaps your loss makes them fee bad about their own issues. One of my "friends" said my weight loss had made me look older.0
-
do what makes you happy, a lot of people are just jealous you had the will power and dedication to get things done, just don't listen to them and do what will satisfy you. I see this happen a lot!
Oh I plan to get to where I want. I'm still flabby and medically still overweight. They won't slow me down. Didn't get this far to quit because of others.
0 -
I'm sure they have good intentions, they just don't know what they're talking about.0
-
Yes. Always tempted to say 'but you haven't seen me naked'.0
-
This content has been removed.
-
I don't think your friends are trying to "sabotage" you. They are probably not used to you being this small, or if the weight loss was in a short span of time, are worried that you'd lose too much. I wouldn't completely discount their opinions, as sometimes a fresh perspective is always insightful. Honestly, if you feel you lost enough, then maintain. Otherwise, you can tone up more with weightlifting. The conventional BMI chart is a guideline. If you have concerns about your weight loss and health, I would get a professional's advice, like your doctors.
I have people tell me all the time they think I'm skinny. I'm like, "really, because according to the army I'm over-weight". My current body fat percentage is around 25%. To me, I could afford to lose more. I want to tone up and drop down to the 16% range. The weight is arbitrary at this point. It's more on how I feel. Do I feel healthy? Do I like the way I look? Am I happy with what I got accomplished?0 -
It's just stupidity. The only opinions that matter are the ones you care about. My mom hasn't seen me at my goal weight in 15 years - so she has a hard time imagining me that thin and thinks I should stop now. It's not that I'm ACTUALLY too thin, I have a good 20 pounds I could lose before I'd even be borderline, medically speaking, but in a society that is overall so much fatter than previous generations it's harder for her to realize or remember what "normal weight" looks like.0
-
Yeah, I've had this discussion with people I would never expect to hear it from since we aren't really that close. People seem to feel they can just comment on your weight for some reason.
I'm at 23 BMI right now, it's not even that low but my mother says I look "not natural for your age", to which I reply, "Great!" and refuse to discuss it further.0 -
People are going to have their opinions on everything and everybody is entitled to their opinion. You can't force everyone on earth to share the same thoughts and opinions as you. It's just a fact of life that everyone has to deal with. The only opinion that actually matters in this case is yours. If you think you're too thin, then stop. If you don't, then ignore them.0
-
sunnyside1213 wrote: »Yes. Ignore them. People don't like change. Perhaps your loss makes them fee bad about their own issues. One of my "friends" said my weight loss had made me look older.
Can you say, "passive-aggressive"?
0 -
As long as you know you are in what is generally considered a healthy weight range for your hight, age, etc... and you know that your BF% is not ridiculously low already.... and you know that you are getting the nutrition you need... and you know that you want to continue losing until you reach specific healthy goal X (whatever that is for you personally)... then you know what you are talking about and what you are doing and the other person doesn't.
Why do people do this though? Because they don't know what they don't know about a topic that also happens to be steeped in widely spread misinformation... and in some cases because of their own issues they can't handle properly yet.
Try to be polite about it and not let it get to you. Pretend they have the best of intentions even if you think maybe they don't.
Hope that helps.0 -
Personally I would consider that a NSV. But then again I'm a long way from anyone making that comment.0
-
I wouldn't really call this sabotage. *Most* people are just used to seeing you in a certain way. These changes are so gradual that it seems like you've lost big numbers all at once to them. I remember thinking my sister had lost "enough" after she had been using MyFitnessPal for a while. She gained a lot of pregnancy weight, and it seemed to me like it was all gone overnight.
When people suggest this to me, I simply explain to them the BMI scale and where I am now and where I'd like to fall on that scale. I don't know if those numbers are accurate for you, but they're almost dead on for me because I've lost so much muscle since high school.0 -
All the time
I just say tell me if I start to look haggard because that's the only thing that will stop me -and there is definitely a haggard look that can come with too thin0 -
It could be unintentional sabotage. Jealousy is a tricky thing, it's one of those embarrassing emotions that we all bury deep down and it can spill out in a strangest of ways. Or maybe they're worried you won't "look like you, when you're done" (heard that one!). I think some people worry we might change on the inside too when we lose weight - that we might leave them behind... take up new hobbies and find new friends.
If you see flab and BMI tells you that you can do more, then keep going honey! xx0 -
Every day this happens to me. I always see it as comparison issue... they think I've lost enough because they are used to seeing me so big... they can't even imagine what I would look like smaller.0
-
higgins8283801 wrote: »I've lost 33lbs, I was 171 and now am 138. As a 5'2 woman that is still 2lbs above the upper limit of normal. Everytime someone comments on my weightloss they almost follow it up with and don't lose anymore.
Does anyone else experience this? Is it some sort of unintentional "sabatoge"?
Perhaps. However, I think for the most part other people are so used to our former bodies that they can't imagine us smaller, and that may create discomfort. I will be frank and honest--I have friends and family IRL that have lost significant amounts, and only "knew" them as heavy, and the "oh, don't lose more weight" thought has crossed my mind (not in a sabotage way, just used to the "old" them). But, unless they looked truly severely underweight (they haven't), I keep my mouth shut. I know that's my "issue", not theirs.
As long as you're in a healthy weight range, and you're doing it in a reasonable, healthy way, the only opinion that matters is yours and your medical provider's.0 -
I understand what you mean, So far I've lost 27 lbs with at least another 58 lbs to go. I am still considered obese on my BMI chart. I do feel good about myself I can now buy a size 18 jeans instead of a 20. I'm 5'6 and still am heavy. My friends see me now walking and say I don't recognize you you are so skinny. Believe me I am no where near skinny...yet..probably won't be but I will be at a healthy weight for my height and age 63. They too say you look good you don't need to loose more or take a break lets do lunch. Even my husband did this to me yesterday. He said my face is looking so much older since I lost weight and I have so many wrinkles. Yesterday he took me to lunch to our "old" favorite little bistro for lunch. I did eat my usual cheeseburger but without the bun or french fries. Probably consumed over my limit in fat and sodium. But I think I was wise in my choices. I had only 1 slice of turkey bacon (lower sodium) for breakfast with my black coffee. We had lunch and I was full all day and had a Atkins peanut butter granola bar in the late evening for a snack as I was feeling the need to munch. I also only drank water with my meal, no wine or diet coke. So I feel ok. You have to do what works for you and go by your scale and what your "healthy" weight should be. Good luck on your journey and don't let others sabotage your hard work.0
-
Yes, I walk at work and there is a cleaning lady I talk to sometimes. The other day I was walking and she ran up to me and said she thought I lost enough weight, I didn't need to lose anymore...I smiled and just kept walking.
Just let it roll off your back, stop when you are ready, I am not at my goal till I am at MY goal. 0 -
I get that a lot now.
Im 5ft 1 and started at 181 pounds. Im aiming to get to around 120 pounds so only have 14 pounds more to go (which, according to my BMI would put me at 22.7!). I went to see my nurse on Wednesday to get my blood pressure checked (for the pill) and she told me that I already am within the healthy range of the BMI scale (I know im not!) and that I don't need to lose anymore weight. She took my weight but didn't measure my height so she definitely added something up wrong!
I know I do...I still feel overweight (BMI also says I am!)
Grrrrrrr lol0 -
Just thank them - that's what I do. At first it offended me, because I was like Jesus, how BIG was I that you are even noticing??? But now i just thank them, and in my head immediatly blow them off because they have no idea what they are talking about, it's MY body, it's still covered in fat, and i don't want it there, so Im going to get rid of it.
I get it from my mom all the time, but, she's my mom, and I've been big since i was about 7 - so - she's just used to seeing me quite large. Last night i got it from the guy who does my horses shoes, multiple times. it got extremely annoying, but when i finally said thansk he shut up, and the annoyance ended.0 -
Congratulations on getting to the point where people have told you you've lost enough weight - THAT is an accomplishment in and of itself - and I'm looking forward to getting there too :-)0
-
Yes, and I'm 5 ft 4 inches and 139 pounds. This is when a simple, "Thank you," suffices.higgins8283801 wrote: »I've lost 33lbs, I was 171 and now am 138. As a 5'2 woman that is still 2lbs above the upper limit of normal. Everytime someone comments on my weightloss they almost follow it up with and don't lose anymore.
Does anyone else experience this? Is it some sort of unintentional "sabatoge"?
0 -
Yes I get that often, but they can say whatever they want. Does not mean I will listen to them. Its what I want.
Congrats on your weight loss. Do what makes you happy and feel good about your self.0 -
I've lost (and kept off) 60 lbs over the past 6 years and am at the high end of "healthy" BMI. Nearly everyone that knew me at my heaviest tells me how good I look and that they're proud of me for making changes in my life. Except my wife. She always says I look too skinny.
![:\](https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/resources/emoji/confused.png ":\")
0 -
I've lost a little over 47 pounds and I'm only 5 pounds away from a healthy BMI. The past week my son (who's 18), my mom and a few family members told me 'enough'. I don't think these comments were made out of jealousy or any malice. Just concern. My son told me my face was getting too thin and I look a little boney from the waste up.
So I'll lose those last few pounds and hopefully keep them off for good 0 -
All the time
I just say tell me if I start to look haggard because that's the only thing that will stop me -and there is definitely a haggard look that can come with too thin
Yup - I've always figured that it was more that extra weight hides wrinkles so losing it is just un-hiding them - no matter, take the wrinkles, lose the weight0 -
Good thing this is about yo, so do what makes you happy. I always try to remember that what other people think, is none of my business.0
This discussion has been closed.
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 393.6K Introduce Yourself
- 43.8K Getting Started
- 260.3K Health and Weight Loss
- 175.9K Food and Nutrition
- 47.5K Recipes
- 232.5K Fitness and Exercise
- 430 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.5K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.5K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 153K Motivation and Support
- 8K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.3K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.8K MyFitnessPal Information
- 24 News and Announcements
- 1.1K Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.6K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions