People telling you, you lost enough weight

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higgins8283801
higgins8283801 Posts: 844 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
I've lost 33lbs, I was 171 and now am 138. As a 5'2 woman that is still 2lbs above the upper limit of normal. Everytime someone comments on my weightloss they almost follow it up with and don't lose anymore.

Does anyone else experience this? Is it some sort of unintentional "sabatoge"?
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Replies

  • dannymacros
    dannymacros Posts: 11 Member
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    do what makes you happy, a lot of people are just jealous you had the will power and dedication to get things done, just don't listen to them and do what will satisfy you. I see this happen a lot!
  • sunnyside1213
    sunnyside1213 Posts: 1,205 Member
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    Yes. Ignore them. People don't like change. Perhaps your loss makes them fee bad about their own issues. One of my "friends" said my weight loss had made me look older.
  • higgins8283801
    higgins8283801 Posts: 844 Member
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    dmrios88 wrote: »
    do what makes you happy, a lot of people are just jealous you had the will power and dedication to get things done, just don't listen to them and do what will satisfy you. I see this happen a lot!


    Oh I plan to get to where I want. I'm still flabby and medically still overweight. They won't slow me down. Didn't get this far to quit because of others.
  • TimothyFish
    TimothyFish Posts: 4,925 Member
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    I'm sure they have good intentions, they just don't know what they're talking about.
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,372 Member
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    Yes. Always tempted to say 'but you haven't seen me naked'.
  • MamaP47
    MamaP47 Posts: 94 Member
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    I don't think your friends are trying to "sabotage" you. They are probably not used to you being this small, or if the weight loss was in a short span of time, are worried that you'd lose too much. I wouldn't completely discount their opinions, as sometimes a fresh perspective is always insightful. Honestly, if you feel you lost enough, then maintain. Otherwise, you can tone up more with weightlifting. The conventional BMI chart is a guideline. If you have concerns about your weight loss and health, I would get a professional's advice, like your doctors.

    I have people tell me all the time they think I'm skinny. I'm like, "really, because according to the army I'm over-weight". My current body fat percentage is around 25%. To me, I could afford to lose more. I want to tone up and drop down to the 16% range. The weight is arbitrary at this point. It's more on how I feel. Do I feel healthy? Do I like the way I look? Am I happy with what I got accomplished?
  • Phrick
    Phrick Posts: 2,765 Member
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    It's just stupidity. The only opinions that matter are the ones you care about. My mom hasn't seen me at my goal weight in 15 years - so she has a hard time imagining me that thin and thinks I should stop now. It's not that I'm ACTUALLY too thin, I have a good 20 pounds I could lose before I'd even be borderline, medically speaking, but in a society that is overall so much fatter than previous generations it's harder for her to realize or remember what "normal weight" looks like.
  • Wheelhouse15
    Wheelhouse15 Posts: 5,575 Member
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    Yeah, I've had this discussion with people I would never expect to hear it from since we aren't really that close. People seem to feel they can just comment on your weight for some reason.

    I'm at 23 BMI right now, it's not even that low but my mother says I look "not natural for your age", to which I reply, "Great!" and refuse to discuss it further.
  • CleanUpWhatIMessedUp
    CleanUpWhatIMessedUp Posts: 206 Member
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    People are going to have their opinions on everything and everybody is entitled to their opinion. You can't force everyone on earth to share the same thoughts and opinions as you. It's just a fact of life that everyone has to deal with. The only opinion that actually matters in this case is yours. If you think you're too thin, then stop. If you don't, then ignore them.
  • BookinWeasel
    BookinWeasel Posts: 1
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    sunnyside1213 wrote: »
    Yes. Ignore them. People don't like change. Perhaps your loss makes them fee bad about their own issues. One of my "friends" said my weight loss had made me look older.

    Can you say, "passive-aggressive"?
  • YesIAm17
    YesIAm17 Posts: 817 Member
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    As long as you know you are in what is generally considered a healthy weight range for your hight, age, etc... and you know that your BF% is not ridiculously low already.... and you know that you are getting the nutrition you need... and you know that you want to continue losing until you reach specific healthy goal X (whatever that is for you personally)... then you know what you are talking about and what you are doing and the other person doesn't.

    Why do people do this though? Because they don't know what they don't know about a topic that also happens to be steeped in widely spread misinformation... and in some cases because of their own issues they can't handle properly yet.

    Try to be polite about it and not let it get to you. Pretend they have the best of intentions even if you think maybe they don't.

    Hope that helps.
  • empireman85
    empireman85 Posts: 114 Member
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    Personally I would consider that a NSV. But then again I'm a long way from anyone making that comment.
  • feralkitten1010
    feralkitten1010 Posts: 219 Member
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    I wouldn't really call this sabotage. *Most* people are just used to seeing you in a certain way. These changes are so gradual that it seems like you've lost big numbers all at once to them. I remember thinking my sister had lost "enough" after she had been using MyFitnessPal for a while. She gained a lot of pregnancy weight, and it seemed to me like it was all gone overnight.

    When people suggest this to me, I simply explain to them the BMI scale and where I am now and where I'd like to fall on that scale. I don't know if those numbers are accurate for you, but they're almost dead on for me because I've lost so much muscle since high school.
  • Sued0nim
    Sued0nim Posts: 17,456 Member
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    All the time

    I just say tell me if I start to look haggard because that's the only thing that will stop me -and there is definitely a haggard look that can come with too thin
  • kendalslimmer
    kendalslimmer Posts: 579 Member
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    It could be unintentional sabotage. Jealousy is a tricky thing, it's one of those embarrassing emotions that we all bury deep down and it can spill out in a strangest of ways. Or maybe they're worried you won't "look like you, when you're done" (heard that one!). I think some people worry we might change on the inside too when we lose weight - that we might leave them behind... take up new hobbies and find new friends.

    If you see flab and BMI tells you that you can do more, then keep going honey! xx
  • Ellencas1974
    Ellencas1974 Posts: 13 Member
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    Every day this happens to me. I always see it as comparison issue... they think I've lost enough because they are used to seeing me so big... they can't even imagine what I would look like smaller.
  • williams969
    williams969 Posts: 2,528 Member
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    higgins8283801 wrote: »
    I've lost 33lbs, I was 171 and now am 138. As a 5'2 woman that is still 2lbs above the upper limit of normal. Everytime someone comments on my weightloss they almost follow it up with and don't lose anymore.

    Does anyone else experience this? Is it some sort of unintentional "sabatoge"?

    Perhaps. However, I think for the most part other people are so used to our former bodies that they can't imagine us smaller, and that may create discomfort. I will be frank and honest--I have friends and family IRL that have lost significant amounts, and only "knew" them as heavy, and the "oh, don't lose more weight" thought has crossed my mind (not in a sabotage way, just used to the "old" them). But, unless they looked truly severely underweight (they haven't), I keep my mouth shut. I know that's my "issue", not theirs.

    As long as you're in a healthy weight range, and you're doing it in a reasonable, healthy way, the only opinion that matters is yours and your medical provider's.
  • Ming1951
    Ming1951 Posts: 514 Member
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    I understand what you mean, So far I've lost 27 lbs with at least another 58 lbs to go. I am still considered obese on my BMI chart. I do feel good about myself I can now buy a size 18 jeans instead of a 20. I'm 5'6 and still am heavy. My friends see me now walking and say I don't recognize you you are so skinny. Believe me I am no where near skinny...yet..probably won't be but I will be at a healthy weight for my height and age 63. They too say you look good you don't need to loose more or take a break lets do lunch. Even my husband did this to me yesterday. He said my face is looking so much older since I lost weight and I have so many wrinkles. Yesterday he took me to lunch to our "old" favorite little bistro for lunch. I did eat my usual cheeseburger but without the bun or french fries. Probably consumed over my limit in fat and sodium. But I think I was wise in my choices. I had only 1 slice of turkey bacon (lower sodium) for breakfast with my black coffee. We had lunch and I was full all day and had a Atkins peanut butter granola bar in the late evening for a snack as I was feeling the need to munch. I also only drank water with my meal, no wine or diet coke. So I feel ok. You have to do what works for you and go by your scale and what your "healthy" weight should be. Good luck on your journey and don't let others sabotage your hard work.
  • perseverance14
    perseverance14 Posts: 1,364 Member
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    Yes, I walk at work and there is a cleaning lady I talk to sometimes. The other day I was walking and she ran up to me and said she thought I lost enough weight, I didn't need to lose anymore...I smiled and just kept walking. :) Just let it roll off your back, stop when you are ready, I am not at my goal till I am at MY goal.

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