anorexia and gaining weight

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hi..im 22years girl. im a senior year IT engineering student.i have been struggling with anorexia for 4-3 years..i started somekind of recovery in almost a year ago.but unfortunately nothing has been changed.i really want to recover ..my family..friends..everybody are tired.. i have to fight with my mind,family,friends,food.i have been try to much to fix it and change it..but nothing has worked out.im struggling with many things but counting calories and how much i should get is the craziest one.as i said im 22years girl with147cm height and 30kg weight.my goal calorie take for a day is 1800 (is toooo..much but doctor said) is enough ?? or is too much? please help me.and what about continuing calorie on recovery?!
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Replies

  • biorobotics
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    i've struggled with anorexia for 10 years. calorie-counting is tricky; it can be helpful as a guideline, HOWEVER it's very easy for it to become an eating disordered behaviour and keep you sick. if you find it helpful, carry on, but if it stops being helpful, please stop. in treatment programs, we used exchanges and portioning; you're never going to get exactly xxxx number of calories, but you know it's all within a range.
    it's likely you will need to increase your intake as you gain weight. it's okay, your body needs all that energy.
  • kiaowl
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    i've struggled with anorexia for 10 years. calorie-counting is tricky; it can be helpful as a guideline, HOWEVER it's very easy for it to become an eating disordered behaviour and keep you sick. if you find it helpful, carry on, but if it stops being helpful, please stop. in treatment programs, we used exchanges and portioning; you're never going to get exactly xxxx number of calories, but you know it's all within a range.
    it's likely you will need to increase your intake as you gain weight. it's okay, your body needs all that energy.
    thanks for your rely.im not sure calorie-counting does help or not.you know im also terrifying of gaining weight

  • biorobotics
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    obviously you're scared. i challenge you to consider this:
    why are you scared? what are you afraid of? why is gaining weight so scary? what do you associate with being thin versus being not-thin? do you want to be thin, or do you want to be healthy?
    an eating disorder will kill you, if you don't fight it.
    are you getting any help?
  • kiaowl
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    obviously you're scared. i challenge you to consider this:
    why are you scared? what are you afraid of? why is gaining weight so scary? what do you associate with being thin versus being not-thin? do you want to be thin, or do you want to be healthy?
    an eating disorder will kill you, if you don't fight it.
    are you getting any help?

    yes as i said one year ago i've been started my recovery.i have seen doctors and a i have a gym coatch( she doesn't allow me to go to gym till i gain 3kg) and my family are part of recovery too.
    i know i have to gain weight to gain my future and dreams.but i dont want get fat.you can't imagine how much its scary for me
  • biorobotics
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    actually, i can. you won't get fat, you'll get your life back.
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
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    Are you currently seeing a therapist/counselor?
  • anna_doe1986
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    you won't get fat, you'll get your life back.

    Agreed. I was at your bmi before and, trust me, you can't trust your own reasoning at that state. I didn't even remember what it was like to be 100% alive, because you're running at maybe 30%.

    And I agree with the comments about seeing a therapist/counselor, if you aren't already. Good luck with recovery!:)


  • kiaowl
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    thanks for your all replies.yes i had seen therapist before .
  • Tim_Simons
    Tim_Simons Posts: 64 Member
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    I believe you can survive it. Get help. I know it is not an easy choice but you decide if anorexia is a friend that you must hold on to? Change is hard but it is possible. Admit you have a problem so you'd be able to talk to someone. Stay away from places, people, and activities that can trigger your obsession of being "thin". You need to seek professional help. Wishing you all the best.
  • devenfuentes
    devenfuentes Posts: 27 Member
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    Hi! I'm a 19 year old male. I suffered from anorexia for around 3 years. It was really bad at age 15. I weighed 104 at 5'7. Always felt bad about myself but then I started taking charge for myself. Started lifting and dialed in my diet. Diet is crucial. It was all a mindset. I had and still have an almost obsession of making my body better than it was the day before. At 165 now of muscle 8 % body fat. What I'm trying to say is that it will get better as long as you push yourself! I know you are tired. I've been there. You're just going to have to envision your greatness. because you are amazing! You will not get fat. I was also deathly afraid of that but if you are working out and eating the prescribed amount of food you'll be okay. The weight comes so slowly that the fat won't have a chance to form, only healthy muscle. I truly hope everything goes well in your journey. Please never give up.
  • kiaowl
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    Hi! I'm a 19 year old male. I suffered from anorexia for around 3 years. It was really bad at age 15. I weighed 104 at 5'7. Always felt bad about myself but then I started taking charge for myself. Started lifting and dialed in my diet. Diet is crucial. It was all a mindset. I had and still have an almost obsession of making my body better than it was the day before. At 165 now of muscle 8 % body fat. What I'm trying to say is that it will get better as long as you push yourself! I know you are tired. I've been there. You're just going to have to envision your greatness. because you are amazing! You will not get fat. I was also deathly afraid of that but if you are working out and eating the prescribed amount of food you'll be okay. The weight comes so slowly that the fat won't have a chance to form, only healthy muscle. I truly hope everything goes well in your journey. Please never give up.
    ohhh...thank you so much devenfuentes for your courageous words.and congratulations for your Success in this journey .I try to do my best I promise .
  • yogaveg
    yogaveg Posts: 68 Member
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    hello, recovering from a restrictive disorder is so difficult so i am so glad you're taking a step in the right direction! however calorie counting at this point in your recovery will not be helpful at all if you want to move away from your disorder. i had to give up counting and obsessing over numbers in order to gain my life back. 1800 while it feels like a lot now is certainly not enough to gain weight, and likely isn't enough to maintain a healthy weight. i have been in recovery for two years and have been maintaining on around 2000-2500 calories a day (active 2 days a week) your body needs to food to heal from the abuse it has received during your anorexia. please, please, please look up a dietitian and a therapist in your area. or even a treatment center! it's scary to make the step but it is so worth it. going to treatment saved my life and gave me hope. recovery is possible. you are worthy of recovery. if you ever have any questions or concerns feel free to message me. i really hope you seek treatment sooner rather than later
  • JayRuby84
    JayRuby84 Posts: 557 Member
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    yogaveg wrote: »
    hello, recovering from a restrictive disorder is so difficult so i am so glad you're taking a step in the right direction! however calorie counting at this point in your recovery will not be helpful at all if you want to move away from your disorder. i had to give up counting and obsessing over numbers in order to gain my life back. 1800 while it feels like a lot now is certainly not enough to gain weight, and likely isn't enough to maintain a healthy weight. i have been in recovery for two years and have been maintaining on around 2000-2500 calories a day (active 2 days a week) your body needs to food to heal from the abuse it has received during your anorexia. please, please, please look up a dietitian and a therapist in your area. or even a treatment center! it's scary to make the step but it is so worth it. going to treatment saved my life and gave me hope. recovery is possible. you are worthy of recovery. if you ever have any questions or concerns feel free to message me. i really hope you seek treatment sooner rather than later

    This :)
  • jaimesparkman
    jaimesparkman Posts: 17 Member
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    When I was in recovery for my ED i had to eat 3000 calories per day, i highly suggest looking up "minnie maud"
  • Nvarol
    Nvarol Posts: 1 Member
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    When I was in recovery for my ED i had to eat 3000 calories per day, i highly suggest looking up "minnie maud"
    Im trying to recover with MM but i really need help could you be my trainer
  • pebbleslaura1
    pebbleslaura1 Posts: 146 Member
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    When I was in recovery for my ED i had to eat 3000 calories per day, i highly suggest looking up "minnie maud"
    is she on here?
  • carriecarrio
    carriecarrio Posts: 70 Member
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    I second what others have said regarding seeing a therapist. ED can affect your health significantly and have long term consequences (such as affecting your teeth health forever, fertility issues, etc). Going to the GYM may actually help you. Working out helps release the 'feel good' hormones, so you may gain some confidence, feel better about your body, feel stronger, etc. You will not lose more weight by working out if you eat well to compensate for the energy consumed.
  • FatFreeFrolicking
    FatFreeFrolicking Posts: 4,252 Member
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    Part of anorexia recovery is gaining weight. You can't avoid that. You want to be healthy, don't you? Assuming yes, you will have to gain some weight. No, you will not become fat.

    You also need to see a psychiatric who specializes in eating disorders, specifically anorexia. I would also recommend getting a referral to a dietician who specializes in eating disorders. They will be able to help you come up with a meal plan and decide how many calories you should be consuming. FYI, most anorexia's in recovery are eating well over 2,000 calories daily.
  • ucabucca
    ucabucca Posts: 606 Member
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    I know it is the scariest thing to recover but you can do it. I am positive I have been at a healthy weight and in gym again for almost 2 year. You must trust someone to help you and realize you may actually hate the changes temporarily but your body does know what it needs and there maybe some periods where you have extreme hunger as the body compensates for your restricting. At first I got a belly and hated it but I was reassured that this was my body protecting the organs and it would go away which it did on its own. My brain fog lifted, energy came back and I was happier. I was odd compared to most I needed to know my work and struggles were paying off and found motivation in scale going up. I am heading home today and for the last few day because of serious training I was actually eating 5,000 calories a day wow 10 times what I was doing when in the middle of eating disorder. Now I normally happy with the reflection in the mirror. I did work with a nutritionist and I still work with a trainer who is amazing and keeps me on track and focused. Good luck
  • MadisynRain
    MadisynRain Posts: 20 Member
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    Hi I'm madie and I've struggled with anorexia for 2 years and currently weigh 78 pounds. I have a really hard time gaining weight and becoming hungry. I want to gain weight but it's hard.