The bigger picture

I've been completely fired up about weight loss and nutrition for over two years. I've lost close to 100 lbs and have tried just about every nutrition plan and exercise routine out there. I have had days where I was close to 1000 calorie deficit, I nearly starved myself to hit a challenge number and I hit it. I bounced back up to a healthy weight and have maintained. I love everything about fitness and nutrition and I love pushing myself past my limits and hitting goals. The people that call me obsessed... I call lazy.

Last May my mother got very ill. I never stopped working out or eating healthy, especially when me and my siblings had to really help out my dad with taking care of her. I got on FMLA and re-arranged my work schedule and even my gym schedule to make time to care of her, be there for my dad and just spend as much time as I could with her.

My mother passed away the day before Thanksgiving. I got the call that morning at 3 AM, flew over to pick up my dad and off to hospice where she had only been for a day and a half. That very same day, I went to a 5 PM dance class and I danced my *kitten* off. No one knew. The funeral services were last week: wake on Monday and Tuesday and the burial on Wednesday. I worked out each of those days as well.

My nutrition, while not terribly bad, was not very good either. With family and friends around for a week or so there was a lot of ordering out, eating out, snacking, sweets, etc... I didn't over do it but I did eat a lot of stuff that I normally don't. I didn't bother to log for those weeks because... well... my mom died, I don't think I need to explain why I didn't log my food.

Anyway. I miss her terribly.

The bigger picture here is yeah, health and nutrition and exercise is important but there are more important things in life. At the end of the day it doesn't matter who you are or what you look like.

My and my sister had to go through all of my mothers stuff to sort out. We ended up with about 25 large bags full of clothing, shoes, etc. Some of the clothing still had tags! She didn't have much when she was growing up so she enjoyed buying anything she wanted when she got older. She was a fashionista and had beautiful things. But again... in the end, it's just stuff.

I am glad that I continued to work out daily, it truly kept me sane. Zumba... music is my medicine! Boxing... yup, a great way to get out anger. Weights... a great way to block everything out and focus.

So here I am about a week and a half since my mother passed. Re-working my work out schedule and trying some new things like open boxing (legit), and slowly getting back on track with my nutrition.

While I don't feel as if I am starting over, I am starting anew. Resetting my current weight and goal weight and working my way back to logging accurately.

Thanks for reading.