What to Do When Your "Support" Overwhelms You?

Sylvarose
Sylvarose Posts: 70 Member
edited November 8 in Motivation and Support
How do folks handle well meaning friends who overwhelm you with their support? Especially ones who have lost a large amounts of weight? I'm just starting out...again. Weight issues trigger my anxiety issues. I'm doing this with the oversight of both my therapist and my doctor. I'm trying to keep things as low key as possible. Right now all my therapist is asking is that I just concentrate on keeping a food journal. I know people mean well and I do want support but I don't, at least right now, want 'do this' or 'don't do this' or 'becareful of..blah blah blah." I don't want to discourage people from helping me but I don't want to be overwhelmed with enthusiasm and information either. Does that make sense?

Replies

  • jgnatca
    jgnatca Posts: 14,464 Member
    Yes it makes sense.
    Don't tell them your plan. I was quiet about my plans for a good year until I had some honest success under my belt. I still quietly dismiss unsolicited advice. It's my life, my choices.
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    I agree with the pp, stop telling everyone you're on a diet, and no one will give advice.
  • MrsKGrady
    MrsKGrady Posts: 276 Member
    jgnatca wrote: »
    Yes it makes sense.
    Don't tell them your plan. I was quiet about my plans for a good year until I had some honest success under my belt. I still quietly dismiss unsolicited advice. It's my life, my choices.

    All of this. You have to do what is right for you. I listen to what people say and then dismiss what I know isn't going to work for me.
  • AskTracyAnnK28
    AskTracyAnnK28 Posts: 2,817 Member
    I call these people the "Diet Police"

    When I started this I didn't tell anyone I was trying to lose weight. I didn't say one word for at least 6 weeks when people started to notice a change in my appearance.

    Keep it to yourself. It's no one's business :) And come here for support!!
  • beamer0821
    beamer0821 Posts: 488 Member
    that doesnt sound like support. it just sounds like they are telling you what to do. lol pp, said it best "diet police" not to be confused with support. =)
    just nod and then keep your diet stuff to yourself would be my advise as to not "invite" the diet police.
  • Velum_cado
    Velum_cado Posts: 1,608 Member
    "I have a plan I'm happy with and if I feel I need any advice, I'll ask you."

  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,865 Member
    Don't make it a matter of discussion.
  • jagpie42
    jagpie42 Posts: 43 Member
    I completely agree. My mom loved to say things like, "Oh, are you dieting again?" I started out working out every morning before work. 44 days I began logging everything that goes into my mouth into MFP (food diary). So far, the only ones that know about my 22 pound progress are my husband, my daughter, my son and one co-worker. Why do they know? I found that in my 35 years of dieting experience that I needed true support...not saboteurs that seem to prey on my insecurities. So far, my mind set this time around has made all of the difference in the world.
  • Sylvarose
    Sylvarose Posts: 70 Member
    I waited 20 days before saying anything but I see what you all are saying. It makes sense. :) Thank you for the feedback. I really appreciate it.
  • tulips_and_tea
    tulips_and_tea Posts: 5,741 Member
    cwolfman13 wrote: »
    Don't make it a matter of discussion.

    Exactly. However, since it sounds like a lot of people around you already know, if/when they do say something, respond in a brief, non-detailed way that your health issues at times causes you anxiety and you'd rather just do what you've been instructed by your doctor.
  • Sylvarose
    Sylvarose Posts: 70 Member
    edited December 2014
    Thank you.
  • jgnatca
    jgnatca Posts: 14,464 Member
    My weight loss is now obvious to everyone. People have a hard time hiding what they really feel, and weight loss and gain is such an emotive subject. I stave off any angst the person might be having by saying, "Losing weight is very, very hard."

    First of all, I am letting them off the hook for the guilt or jealousy they may be feeling for not doing anything, and second of all, I don't dismiss the hard work it took me to get here.
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