Feeling Sad, rejected and in need of moral support.

look in the mirror! youre gorgeous! you have your youth and the world is yours! screw that jerk! there are so many guys out there that want the same things you do. just be patient and dont rush anything! enjoy just being you!

Better to find out now before you were in love with him. Rejection sucks though. Head up and on to the next one beautiful lady!

My best advice would be keeping yourself busy. Do you go to the gym? Go for a run, for a walk. That helps a lot. Do not hold bitterness and have in mind that you are a phenomenal woman! Hug from NYC.

douglasfloyd wrote: »

emily889 wrote: »

The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else. Kid you not....haha. I know how "casually dating" goes... hanging out and having fun til they find someone else to commit to. If you are looking for commitment or a relationship it is usually best practice to find someone like minded. It can be hard to keep it casual!

my kind of girl! great advice!

I am getting the hang of this dating crap after being tossed aside easily over the past year. I am the queen of noticing the phase out before they even start haha I was all about the fun at first, but now I have it down to a science

MayaSPapaya wrote: »

He told me from the beginning he was just looking for a casual relationship...

When someone tells you who they are, believe them.

If a guy says he wants a casual relationship, the likelihood of it turning into something else is low (not impossible, of course). I'm glad he was pretty honest with you, and sorry things didn't work out. As he's back with his ex, it's not really about you, but how much he's into her, so don't view it as a real rejection. But you're fabulous, so go date someone else!

When a guy says "casual relationship" that should really mean "let' just hang out because I'm not really attracted to you".
Unfortunately that's how life runs and you can let it affect you or not. Trust when I say that rejection (whether in love, job, or friendship) is a NORMAL part of life and you'll deal with it more often than you think. One of the best ways I look at it is not to take it very personally.

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kgilrivera wrote: »

My best advice would be keeping yourself busy. Do you go to the gym? Go for a run, for a walk. That helps a lot. Do not hold bitterness and have in mind that you are a phenomenal woman! Hug from NYC.

Rejection sucks, but this is good advice. Try and keep busy, don't dwell on it and don't let it make you doubt yourself.

feel better soon.

emdeesea wrote: »

MayaSPapaya wrote: »

He told me from the beginning he was just looking for a casual relationship...

When someone tells you who they are, believe them.

I have to agree with this. It sounds like you eventually really fell for him anyway, so I am sure it hurts all the same, no matter what he said at the beginning. There is no shortcut to getting over feeling rejected, but don't take the fact that he wants to be with his ex as some sort of sign there is something wrong with you. He was not over his ex, and that has nothing to do with you.

This is a time to be good to yourself and to move on. Staying busy is a good idea. Don't leave yourself a lot of free time to dwell on it and make yourself feel worse. Try to be with people who help you feel good, like good, supportive friends or family members.

RisingAboveIt wrote: »

I have to agree with this. It sounds like you eventually really fell for him anyway, so I am sure it hurts all the same, no matter what he said at the beginning. There is no shortcut to getting over feeling rejected, but don't take the fact that he wants to be with his ex as some sort of sign there is something wrong with you. He was not over his ex, and that has nothing to do with you.

This is a very important thing to remember. Yes, you were interested in him, and yes, it hurts to find that he is not reciprocating that interest or those feelings you have. Nobody can deny that you're hurting.

But do bear in mind that, based on what he said, he was not assessing you or looking at you as a potential, serious romantic interest. He was looking for someone to spend time with, but nothing beyond that. Now that his romantic life has, apparently, rekindled, he's simply no longer in need to find someone else to do things with.

There is NOTHING wrong with YOU. It's simply that he is no longer seeking someone to fill the role of a casual friend to hang out with that you were performing.


I would say it's very wise that you're not taking him up on his offer to set you up with one of his friends. I want to believe that he's doing it for a noble reason, such as recognizing that him focusing on his ex, now, would leave you without someone to do things with. But the skeptic in me also wonders if he might do it to keep you relatively nearby as a "spare" in case his ex becomes his ex, again, and that's not right. You deserve to be able to move forward and leave this relationship experience in the past if you want.


And there is still the, admittedly painful, lesson: If anyone says "this relationship is casual" or otherwise limits the scope from the beginning, we can't really expect it to morph. It's possible, but hard because both parties would have to change their views of the relationship. If looking for a serious relationship, odds are better saving your efforts for someone who is looking for that, too, or at least someone who hasn't said either way.

chrisskellinton wrote: »

let's not worry about finding someone that makes us happy..........let's be happy and then find someone that doesn't want to change that.

Some of the best advice I've seen

wolfsbayne wrote: »

chrisskellinton wrote: »

let's not worry about finding someone that makes us happy..........let's be happy and then find someone that doesn't want to change that.

Some of the best advice I've seen

true

Just remember all the things you didn't like about him. When you're upset about a guy, it's easy to put them on a pedestal and forget all the things you disliked about them. You will find someone SO much better.