I've been setting myself up for failure
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concordancia wrote: »This is why my goals are to do things, rather than hit a number on a scale.
I have a goal to bike around the bay. I have a goal to eat 5 fruit and veg a day. I have a goal to stay within my calorie limits. I have a goal to hit my protein macros. I have a goal to do one legged squats. I have a goal to do pushups and at least one pull up...
Sure, I would love to be slim and athletic for my parents' 50th in June, I even have an ideal weight in mind to achieve by then, but my actual goals are more concrete and action oriented.
Me too, me too! Oh boy, are those harder than they look! Not sure if I'll reach this one, but it's good to have something difficult to aim for.
OP, NO, the mind is NOT a terrible thing - it's a great thing because it's what lead you to the latter conclusion in your OP which is probably going to give you more success. Take the advice already given by other posters. You'll be much happier!0 -
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Who was it that wrote the blog about what success really looks like and had "Backwards? Unpossible!". That blog does a great job of helping you manage expectations haha.0
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My inner nerd loves you.
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A poster here directed me to this site to smooth out the lines and see the trend:
http://www.weightgrapher.com/graphs/
That helped me feel better.
I still hate the scale.
The achievements that matter to me are related to behavior change, which is directly under my control. Like exercise goals.
You must be logged in to view that page!
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A poster here directed me to this site to smooth out the lines and see the trend:
http://www.weightgrapher.com/graphs/
That helped me feel better.
I still hate the scale.
The achievements that matter to me are related to behavior change, which is directly under my control. Like exercise goals.
You must be logged in to view that page!
Really, you can do the same thing yourself with Excel or any spreadsheet software.0 -
lthames, my first goal eight months ago was a 21-day challenge, 40 minutes a day on the treadmill. Did that.
Next goal, last spring, a 5K walk. Done.
This fall, after recovering from surgery, another 5K Walk for the Cure. Hey, this is getting too easy.
Rode my bike for the first time. Yay!
Video of me riding my bike.
Did some deep thinking, and decided to take a Learn to Run class. I am halfway through the C25K. I run twenty minutes every other day.
I am signed up for a 10K next June, and a Mud Hero 6K next August.
I will have to train to get ready for those!
I change up my goals if I begin to lose interest.
I see...your goals are events that make you stick to a training plan rather than an attempt to, say, improve your mile time.
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That's a good way to look at it.lthames0810 wrote: »lthames, my first goal eight months ago was a 21-day challenge, 40 minutes a day on the treadmill. Did that.
Next goal, last spring, a 5K walk. Done.
This fall, after recovering from surgery, another 5K Walk for the Cure. Hey, this is getting too easy.
Rode my bike for the first time. Yay!
Video of me riding my bike.
Did some deep thinking, and decided to take a Learn to Run class. I am halfway through the C25K. I run twenty minutes every other day.
I am signed up for a 10K next June, and a Mud Hero 6K next August.
I will have to train to get ready for those!
I change up my goals if I begin to lose interest.
I see...your goals are events that make you stick to a training plan rather than an attempt to, say, improve your mile time.
I run for my cardio. I nearly always have a race for which I am training because it gives me a goal. I have a half marathon on Jan. 18th coming up, in fact. The exception is the summer which is too hot for races or for running for long periods of time. In the summer, I usually run 2-3 miles before work (and before the temps climb above 100°) a couple of days each week and one weekend morning. While I don't have a race goal then, I'm still maintaining a base level of ability for when running season comes around again in the Fall, though.
Training for distance running usually involves running different distances each run, with progressively longer runs once every other week or so, so meeting those distances are the intermediate goals. I'll also have time goals for the shorter runs (6 miles) since I'm trying to increase speed as I go along (and the long runs are not for speed). In the summer, I usually shoot for speed goals or do sprint intervals or hill runs or whatever to mix things up and keep things interesting.
You can honestly turn just about anything into a challenge or a goal. It's really a matter of what motivates you and what you find challenging.
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If you're planning on hiking, wouldn't running be a good thing to get back into to help your endurance? Or is there a reason you no longer run? I know it's not exactly the same but it would be very helpful. However, if you have similar places to hike locally, then by all means get hiking! Distances, finishing specific trails that are tough, etc. are all goals to work towards which will help you have a great time on your vacation.lthames0810 wrote: »A poster here directed me to this site to smooth out the lines and see the trend:
http://www.weightgrapher.com/graphs/
That helped me feel better.
I still hate the scale.
The achievements that matter to me are related to behavior change, which is directly under my control. Like exercise goals.
Thanks for that link!
What are some your exercise goals, if you don't mind posting them here? I don't run or swim anymore, and my cycling speed is dependent more on traffic and riding partners than fitness. I have trouble quantifying anything in this area other than showing up for a workout so many times a week.
These are good suggestions. It would make sense to do some running, but I absolutely loathe it. Maybe I'll just have to suck it up. I live in pan flat Florida so the hiking won't be similar. I'm hoping cycling will help my endurance and leg strength. It does nothing for agility, however.
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If you enjoy hiking, look into geocaching - hiking with a purpose, and you end up all over the place seeing new things. Keeps you distracted and some can be pretty hard to find - fun game
You know, that sounds really interesting. I've heard about this before. I need to do some research. Thanks for the idea.
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That's a good way to look at it.lthames0810 wrote: »lthames, my first goal eight months ago was a 21-day challenge, 40 minutes a day on the treadmill. Did that.
Next goal, last spring, a 5K walk. Done.
This fall, after recovering from surgery, another 5K Walk for the Cure. Hey, this is getting too easy.
Rode my bike for the first time. Yay!
Video of me riding my bike.
Did some deep thinking, and decided to take a Learn to Run class. I am halfway through the C25K. I run twenty minutes every other day.
I am signed up for a 10K next June, and a Mud Hero 6K next August.
I will have to train to get ready for those!
I change up my goals if I begin to lose interest.
I see...your goals are events that make you stick to a training plan rather than an attempt to, say, improve your mile time.
I run for my cardio. I nearly always have a race for which I am training because it gives me a goal. I have a half marathon on Jan. 18th coming up, in fact. The exception is the summer which is too hot for races or for running for long periods of time. In the summer, I usually run 2-3 miles before work (and before the temps climb above 100°) a couple of days each week and one weekend morning. While I don't have a race goal then, I'm still maintaining a base level of ability for when running season comes around again in the Fall, though.
Training for distance running usually involves running different distances each run, with progressively longer runs once every other week or so, so meeting those distances are the intermediate goals. I'll also have time goals for the shorter runs (6 miles) since I'm trying to increase speed as I go along (and the long runs are not for speed). In the summer, I usually shoot for speed goals or do sprint intervals or hill runs or whatever to mix things up and keep things interesting.
You can honestly turn just about anything into a challenge or a goal. It's really a matter of what motivates you and what you find challenging.
This sounds interesting and like it really keeps up your interest in running itself and not just as a means to keep your weight in check. It must be much easier to stick to your training schedule when you think of it that way. I think there's a way that I can adapt this approach to cycling. It may revive my interest in it as well as get me ready for my big trip.
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lthames0810 wrote: »
If you're planning on hiking, wouldn't running be a good thing to get back into to help your endurance? Or is there a reason you no longer run? I know it's not exactly the same but it would be very helpful. However, if you have similar places to hike locally, then by all means get hiking! Distances, finishing specific trails that are tough, etc. are all goals to work towards which will help you have a great time on your vacation.lthames0810 wrote: »A poster here directed me to this site to smooth out the lines and see the trend:
http://www.weightgrapher.com/graphs/
That helped me feel better.
I still hate the scale.
The achievements that matter to me are related to behavior change, which is directly under my control. Like exercise goals.
Thanks for that link!
What are some your exercise goals, if you don't mind posting them here? I don't run or swim anymore, and my cycling speed is dependent more on traffic and riding partners than fitness. I have trouble quantifying anything in this area other than showing up for a workout so many times a week.
These are good suggestions. It would make sense to do some running, but I absolutely loathe it. Maybe I'll just have to suck it up. I live in pan flat Florida so the hiking won't be similar. I'm hoping cycling will help my endurance and leg strength. It does nothing for agility, however.
You know, I used to say that you'd never catch me running unless I was being chased. I hated it with a passion. When I started Couch to 5K 3.5 years ago, I had to create my own "Week 0" because I couldn't run long enough. I wasn't overweight so much as I simply had no endurance to speak of. A few weeks in, my sister, who has been running marathons for about 6 years, turned me on to Jeff Galloway's run / walk method and that did it for me. If I had to just run I probably would have quit awhile ago. The combination of that method and having races to run keeps me motivated and interested.0 -
My mind works like this, too! However, for the first time in my life I'm learning to enjoy the process as well and because I also have smaller goals this time, including non-scale ones, it matters a little less to me whether I achieve the year end goal exactly on schedule. I'll be quite happy if I'm moving in the right direction all year and feeling good about it because at the end of the year I'm just planning to do more of the same so it doesn't really matter if that goal day is one day on the calendar or 30 days later. If you stick with this, you might be surprised how soon you'll be ready for that active vacation anyway!0
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That's a great long term goal, but maybe you should start setting mini goals. Like 5lbs a month. That will still get you to your end goal, but every time you lose 5lbs is a small win in the book.0
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lthames0810 wrote: »Weight loss is NOT linear. You can't draw a nice pretty line and expect your actual weight to fall directly on it.
Get rid of the time goal. Make progress, even if it's slow. Win.
Hmm...
How about dumping the goal line and putting in a trend line? That way, even though my weight loss won't be linear, the trend will (optimistic) be generally downward.
The trend line is MONEY! I originally did the same thing by putting together a graph with a goal line. I was killing it for the first 30 days then all the easy weight was gone and it got a little slower and my weight started going above the goal line. So I adjusted the goal. Still stayed above.
After the first 30 days I inserted a trend line into my graph and although it doesn't follow my goal, it is still in a downward slope and shows I'm making continuous progress even if it's not at goal. If you chart is Excel based, you can right click on the chart and it will bring up a dialogue box and one of the options is to add a trend line? Worked for me. Good luck.0 -
While it is true that weight loss isn't linear, I don't know that having a reasonable goal weight by a specific time is necessarily insane. I don't think a pound and a half a week for a guy is exactly nuts.
If you wanna learn more about matching calories to loss with a better chance at predictive accuracy, I'd encourage you to read The Hacker's Diet. You might learn some stuff you enjoy. If it ain't your thing, that's fine, too.
That said, you ARE a biological system and there are things we don't know and can't control in such a system.0 -
lthames0810 wrote: »
Maybe I need to dump the goal and just focus on the process: eating the right amount and getting a little exercise. If the weight goes down at all, then that is success. If it doesn't then it still isn't failure, but an indication that the process needs to be adjusted.[/quote]
I absolutely support the idea of dumping the goal and focusing on the process! That's what I have chosen to do. My so-called "goal weight" I actually refer to as maintenance weight… that's when I will change my setting to "maintain weight." I don't have timelines for when I want to hit my goal… even the smaller intermediate goals. And actually I refer to them as milestones… not goals. They are something I look forward to… but not something that I put a time table. They are something to look forward to… not something that indicates success or failure.
It it vital to me that I create something that I can stick with and that will allow me to maintain my weight loss. And "goals" don't work that way for me. In my mind, a goal is something you work toward and once you hit it… you give yourself a pat on the back and it's over. But I know that kind of thinking will find me putting the weight right back on! So, I have chosen to be process oriented. My "success" is determined by how well I eat and if I am getting in some physical activity everyday. If the scale shows it… GREAT! But if it doesn't… oh well. The important thing is that I create a healthy lifestyle for myself. I found a quote that I live by in this process… and I believe it to be true. "If you focus on results you'll never change… if you focus on change, you'll see results."0 -
try trendweight.com - helps smooth out the non-linear weight loss
I don't have a fixed end goal / timeframe .. just a journey ...and there is no end for me (otherwise I'll just put it all back on again)0 -
"When it is obvious that the goals cannot be reached, don't adjust the goals, adjust the action steps." - Confucius.
There's nothing wrong in plotting things into a calendar, as long as it is something you can control. You can't control the fine-tuning of your body (how it will lose weight), but you can control your nutrition and its content, your exercise, your sleep, your stress levels, and more.
If you are the type that likes concrete goals, clear projects in other words, give your brain what it needs, something realistic within its reach, rather than what is bound to fail before you even began. This will put a positive spin on things and when the brain works in a good state of mind, you as a whole will perform better. Carrot, not whip.0
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