have I gone insane?

Have I gone bonkers? The answer is - kind of, yeah, Allan you've gone somewhat bonkers. So I weighed 365 two years ago and after a year of hard work got it down to 240. Then the site I counted calories on had a beta version that destroyed all my records and I decided (like an alcoholic) to go on my own. I went up to 327 from 245, found this site and today I stood on the scale and weighed 300 (it's been almost two months). So I'm one pound from breaking the superweightsonic 300 lb. barrier. I look in the mirror and I feel great. I look at photos and videos and I look fat. My fat clothes are getting loose and my belt went down another notch. But I tried some dress pants from a year ago and I won't be able to wear them for at least 50 lbs. Yesterday I tried on some 2X shorts and they were too tight. I feel more confident because I'm taking care of myself, but I still have the breasts of a fifteen-year-old girl. Of course at 327 I had the breasts of a woman and at 365 I had the breasts of a Hooters girl. So as you can see my mind is bonkers. Of course I count weight loss by bowling balls. In almost two months I've lost one 16 lb. bowling ball and one 11 lb. bowling ball. I am excited and depressed, sad and happy. I am motivated and discouraged. I repeat over and over to myself, NEVER AGAIN, this time I will stick to it. I will count calories for the rest of my life. I will work out about 7 hours a week for the rest of my life, I will seek support from fellow travelers (like you) and I will get my weight down to near normal or better and keep it there by never stopping my awareness. I love calorie counting and exercise because you can have treats, but you always know the price you pay for having them. Eating out means my other meals are lighter. Big food events mean I better work out today. And feeling bonkers means I better write it out and move on. Yes the food still calls out to me, but at least now I know what they're saying... because I've gone bonkers.