Shame and the Gym

Ashleyr91
Ashleyr91 Posts: 12
edited November 9 in Motivation and Support
Here's the problem; while I have an elliptical in my house and I am perfectly capable of going for a walk or a run outside, I really want to go back to the gym for more variety. I want to get rid of my elliptical because it takes up a lot of space.

But I'm embarrassed to go back to the gym because of how much weight I've gained back over the past year due to certain circumstances.

I feel like if I go back I will be the person people roll their eyes at. "Oh my god she's back again and she looks like a beached whale. Wonder how long she's gonna stick around this time before she slides back into the ocean."

But I finally have a stable schedule at my new job. I finally have actual time to set aside for the gym. I want to go back but I worry too much about what people think.

My question is, be brutally honest, what would you be thinking on the other side of this situation?

I know my fears are probably ridiculous but the anxiety of it all is getting to me.
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Replies

  • KJoubert1966
    KJoubert1966 Posts: 49
    Obviously you realize that you should care less about what others think, but I think you'd be surprised if people had a chat bubble over their heads. Sure... there are people that will think what you mention above... but there will plenty of others silently wishing you luck in your attempts to better yourself, and people admiring you for making an effort to change things.

    FWIW... some people will have those negative and destructive thoughts about you, no matter how skinny or fit you are. That's a problem with THEM, not YOU. Also... you'd be surprised how many skinny/fit people are equally self conscious about their appearance or have anxiety about their ability in the gym.
  • mrsmartinez99
    mrsmartinez99 Posts: 1,255 Member
    edited December 2014
    I understand exactly what you mean. When I go through and use the machines I feel like someone is always waiting to use it, and that they believe I'm wasting time because it looks like it hasn't worked so far.

    My suggestion would be to have a buddy or good music. Drown out the thoughts you are creating in your own head. You are your own obstacle and biggest critic. Good Luck at the gym. You got this!!!
  • fearlessleader104
    fearlessleader104 Posts: 723 Member
    If your fears were true, what would happen then?
  • PRMinx
    PRMinx Posts: 4,585 Member
    Do interact with people at your gym?

    Because, honestly, no one really cares that much about what other people are doing. I doubt anyone would even think to notice you unless they were friends of yours.
  • kk1084
    kk1084 Posts: 51 Member
    I honestly wouldn't even notice if something like that happened to someone at my gym :) I'm there on business; get in, work out, get home. I think most people are in their fitness bubble while they're there. I say go for it and forget about what anyone else is thinking-- if they're thinking anything at all!
  • 47Jacqueline
    47Jacqueline Posts: 6,993 Member
    If it bothers you, go to a different gym. But most people are pretty self-absorbed at the gym and don't pay attention to anyone's mishegos.
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
    Ashleyr91 wrote: »
    "Oh my god she's back again and she looks like a beached whale. Wonder how long she's gonna stick around this time before she slides back into the ocean."

    have you ever actually seen this happen?? that's awful!

    once I hadnt been at the gym for about a month and a half and a couple girls Im used to seeing there thought id been on my honeymoon LOL!

    if I was on the otherside and saw a woman I recognized, back at the gym after some time away, I would silently fist pump for her comeback tour and maybe if I was feeling great and not consumed by my own fluff - I would give her a You Go Girl nod :D

  • rjmwx81
    rjmwx81 Posts: 259 Member
    I think I speak for about 99% of gym-goers when I say the only time anyone is going to pay ANY attention to you is when you're using a machine they want to use.
  • malibu927
    malibu927 Posts: 17,562 Member
    I would think "hey, here's someone who's doing what she can to better herself." Nobody cares how much you weigh there. They only care if you don't clean up after you finish with the equipment.
  • sheepotato
    sheepotato Posts: 600 Member
    I've been a member of my gym since it opened a few years ago. I can not describe a single person to who goes there, and I wouldn't recognize them if I tried. I only notice anyone if they are on the piece of equipment I want to use, then I just wait for them to finish. I don't make judgements about them unless they don't wipe down when they are finished.

    No part of me cares what people look like at the gym, and the part of me that used to care what others thought of me while I was there died long ago.


    Go back and enjoy yourself while you are there.
  • kimekakes28
    kimekakes28 Posts: 103 Member
    No one ever notice that my socks don't match so I'm sure they don't notice you're size or how long you've been gone :) If you are paying for a membership, get your money's worth and a banging body while your at it!
  • kailibertsch
    kailibertsch Posts: 139 Member
    I promise you everyone is focused on themselves at the gym. I can't imagine anybody taking time to even think that, and if they did, they are not the quality of people whose opinions should matter to you! Any decent person would just be wishing you well!
  • tulips_and_tea
    tulips_and_tea Posts: 5,744 Member
    Yes, I agree with the others. The only time I really notice anyone at the gym is if they are not using proper manners or rules of etiquette for the gym. Otherwise, we're all there for the same reason: get a quality workout in and move on with my day.
  • rendash49221
    rendash49221 Posts: 39 Member
    The only things I notice at the gym (both are etiquette) are the people that bang equipment around (for attention IMO) and those that don't wipe off equipment when they're done with it. I don't know if anyone notices my fat @$$: and if they think anything negative of me, they can SUCK IT! I'm there on a mission!
  • VeryKatie
    VeryKatie Posts: 5,961 Member
    How long were you away? Sounds like a year. I doubt anyone actually remembers you (the ones who might probably don't go there any more). If they do remember you, it would only be because they liked you.
  • devil_in_a_blue_dress
    devil_in_a_blue_dress Posts: 5,214 Member
    I wouldn't even notice.
  • Ninkyou
    Ninkyou Posts: 6,666 Member
    Quit thinking about what other people *might* think, and focus on you.

    TBH, nobody cares. I know that sounds harsh, but people at the gym are more into focusing on what their doing than on what other people are doing. And anyways, it's none of their business.

    You do you.
  • SoDamnHungry
    SoDamnHungry Posts: 6,998 Member
    No one cares. If I see someone at the gym who's really overweight, either I don't even bother to think about them or feel happy for them.
  • FrozenTundra511
    FrozenTundra511 Posts: 206 Member
    Go in and do your thing. Most people are focused on their own workout. Best of luck to you.
  • darrensurrey
    darrensurrey Posts: 3,942 Member
    Just stick to the standard stuff everyone does and nobody will bat an eyelid. They'll be too busy looking at that solitary idiot doing something weird (ie me). :smiley:
  • pscarolina
    pscarolina Posts: 133 Member
    yoovie wrote: »
    Ashleyr91 wrote: »
    "Oh my god she's back again and she looks like a beached whale. Wonder how long she's gonna stick around this time before she slides back into the ocean."

    if I was on the otherside and saw a woman I recognized, back at the gym after some time away, I would silently fist pump for her comeback tour and maybe if I was feeling great and not consumed by my own fluff - I would give her a You Go Girl nod :D

    ^^^this is probably what most normal people in the gym would think. Nobody knows what kept you away for a while. For all they know you could have been in a terrible accident!

    Go get it! (when you get all hot & fit & see a newbie struggling just remember how you felt today)
  • raysputin
    raysputin Posts: 142 Member
    Don't worry about what evil people think, they are irrelevant. Good people will be happy for you that you are in the gym improving yourself.
  • silentKayak
    silentKayak Posts: 658 Member
    Congrats for getting back to it. If I remembered you, I'd think it was awesome you were back. And if not, I'd think it was great that you were getting some exercise.

    But I definitely have a "forget what anyone else thinks" approach to the gym. I bring headphones and dance music and actually DANCE on the elliptical and treadmill. At least I don't sing out loud!
  • slomo22
    slomo22 Posts: 125 Member
    The disgusting people at the gym aren't the fat people, it' the guys who wear tiny tanks and wife beaters. They get their nasty sweaty skin all over the place. No one is going to judge you, and if they do who cares
  • S0vi
    S0vi Posts: 29 Member
    No body will care, and those who do will never say something to your face about it and clearly are at the gym for the wrong reasons. Shake it off and do what you want. Only cares about the opinion of those who controls your bank account.
  • muah3iluvzu06
    muah3iluvzu06 Posts: 79 Member
    I'm at the gym 6 days per week and I pay attention to no one. I could not care less what people look like or what they are doing. I am focused on getting my work out done & getting the hell outta there. Go to the gym girl! :smile:
  • I_Will_End_You
    I_Will_End_You Posts: 4,397 Member
    fearlessleader104 wrote: »
    If your fears were true, what would happen then?

    Good question.....

    The answer is nothing. If someone thinks bad things, it has zero affect on you.
  • Laura732
    Laura732 Posts: 244 Member
    If I can go through an hour's workout with a hole in the *kitten* of my capri's without anybody saying anything, then I think you're safe.
  • randomtai
    randomtai Posts: 9,003 Member
    I don't think anyone really cares.
  • karllundy
    karllundy Posts: 1,490 Member
    I have to admit that I notice when "regulars" at my Y stop coming and / or return, but can't say I worry about whether they have gained weight or not. Like others say, just a silent fist bump that they are back. Go get it!
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