My hubby threw out my scale :(

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Amybcb
Amybcb Posts: 292 Member
in Motivation and Support
My husband threw away my scale today and I must admit I had a bit of an anxiety attack over it. For background, I am a recovering anorexic and bulimic (was diagnosed at separate times in my life, anorexia was in my teens/early 20's and bulimia in 2007-2008). I didn't own a scale for years in my early 20's because they are just evil for those with eating disorders. But since I had recovered and was doing well, I bought one after baby #2. I weighed myself once a day. He says that is way too much but honestly I didn't find it bad considering I used to weigh 10-15 times a day. Weighing myself first thing in the morning helped me to know where I was... if I had gained or lost. He says I shouldn't go by the scale. That I know if I'm doing well based on if I am eating healthy and working out consistently. And in how my clothing fits. All are true, but my scale was still a bit of a lifeline. And when he said he was tossing it, I felt extremely panicked. He said I could weigh in once a week at work, and that it would be a better motivator because I would see "hey I lost 2 or 3lbs this week" instead of weighing every day and hoping for the number to be lower than the day before. I guess he's right but I still feel lost without it. Sounds stupid but those of you who have had ED's I know you will understand. Thanks for letting me vent...

Replies

  • Rubie81
    Rubie81 Posts: 720 Member
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    You have a great husband!
  • robin52077
    robin52077 Posts: 4,383 Member
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    I understand. I own 3 scales (only use one cuz I like it best, but they're all in the cabinet). I do weigh every morning out of habit and to track TOM bloating. But even though it's WAY easier said than done, I think your hubby is right, even though I couldn't bring myself to ditch them myself...
  • carlfry
    carlfry Posts: 62
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    I do not have any ED background, but I do think that he is right. Once a week is a good way to go so you don't obsess. Even for someone without an ED! I used to weigh every couple days hoping to see some loss and was always disappointed. Now, I wait a week and I'm usually never disappointed.

    BTW - you are beautiful and have beautiful children!
  • HoopFire5602
    HoopFire5602 Posts: 423 Member
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    He's just looking out for you, but throwing it away seems kinda harsh. he could have just hid it from you. I've considered doing the same thing because the first few times I had it I was always jumping on it to see what it said. I'm a recovered/recovering exercise bulimic, and the scale is a trigger for me to work out. When I saw I lost 2lbs, I went out and immediately did two more workouts and jumped on the scale again. So I know where you are coming from.
  • Aetarac
    Aetarac Posts: 135 Member
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    He was right you were using it as a crutch and is a slippery slope. It is easy to fall back into that OCD like habit of wanting "just check" to reassure self. With history of ED good to cut off early. You know what you are eating and if it is healthy as long as you keep your intake good it will all work out. Good luck to you and glad your husband did not enable or just turn a blind eye.
  • QueenofCups
    QueenofCups Posts: 365 Member
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    I agree with the others that said he did you a service - but I would also feel lost.
    I have never been diagnosed with an eating disorder, but I am a chronic weigher and have great difficulty sticking to only weighing myself once a day. So I completely understand the panic. At least you have work to weigh yourself once a week.
    Good luck, hon, I think this will be good for you. ((HUGS))
  • SparksFly460
    SparksFly460 Posts: 258
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    I'm right there with you. I've been recovering for a while and I still weigh myself every morning after waking up...unless I am not spending the night in my own apartment. My boyfriend and I are planning on moving in together this year...he know my history but not that I STILL weight myself daily. I'm nervous that he will make me chuck the scale too!

    It's SEEMS logical to just work out/eat right/go by clothing fit. But as you know...in recovery our perception is STILL distorted to a certain degree. A number keeps that in check.

    The scale is a double edged sword. We love it and we hate it. It can help us stay on the recovery track...but it can send us skyrocketing in the opposite direction.

    He's doing this because he loves you obviously. He doesn't want to see you get sick again. If the anxiety is too much, talk to him.....compromise maybe? Promise him that if you have a scale at home (where you can weigh yourself in privacy) you will weigh in once a week....maybe even twice a month at most...and stick to that promise.

    Good luck :-)
  • riverh2
    riverh2 Posts: 6
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    I remember all through my childhood my Auntie suffered with an ED and it was upsetting; I remember worrying a lot that she was going to die. Thankfully she is much better now, though with ostio-problems. Once a week is enough for weighing ... your hubby has used tough love :)

    I'm bothered by weight (it's harder to loose when you're 40) but I don't even own scales! I go by my clothes, eating well and nipping on my someone elses scales every now and then. I do see the lure of them though, as if I had scales I go all OCD getting weighed.

    Good luck x
  • WarmDontBurn
    WarmDontBurn Posts: 1,253 Member
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    I don't have a ED but weigh every day sometimes more. I would be lost without my scales. I have been doing really well so it is nice to see that pretty number looking back at me. I agree with others though if it could lead down a bad path better to get rid of it now.
  • EDesq
    EDesq Posts: 1,527 Member
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    You have a great husband!

    EXACTLY! Also, people with ED's are like any addict, you are ALWAYS IN Recovery; your Body may have healed but you have to stay on top of your situation. If you go back to old habits...well, you will go back to old habits and that would destroy You, Your marriage and Your Family. Since You are choosing to dangle on the edge, your Husband made a REAL MAN decision (for You, the Family and your marriage) be grateful.
  • Amybcb
    Amybcb Posts: 292 Member
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    Thank you everyone. It's great to get some feedback on the situation. Sometimes that is what is needed, tough love. I have to admit I was still a bit panicked when I'd think that it was gone. It definitely is a crutch for me. And as someone said, I'll always be in recovery so it is most likely best that I just don't own a scale. I almost feel ridiculous for the reaction I have felt. When he said he was throwing it out (he was headed to the dump), I actually begged him not to. Then I got mad and said "I'll just buy another". Then I resigned and agreed it should be gone. It wasn't easy but I try to challenge myself with my recovery, especially when I know deep down it is for my own good. Dang was I addicted to that thing... and yes, he is a good hubby. He's been with me 20 years this year (since I was 15), so he's been through all the eating disorder stuff with me. Unfortunately back then, he didn't really get it and would make "jokes" about my weight and such that would send me spiraling down further. Sometimes we can be so dumb when we are kids! Lucky for me, he gets it now and always keeps an eye out. I promised him I'd never lie about my food/exercise etc and I haven't. I think as each day goes by, I will be less stressed over the fact that the scale is gone.

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