Depression & Weight Loss
Paix_Amour
Posts: 34 Member
I've been depressed for a few months, seeing a therapist, blah blah blah. Not on medication (therapist recommended against it, actually).
I sleep a lot. I eat comfort foods. I still make it to the gym 2-3 times a week... I'm struggling here. Anybody have any pointers? Should I just take a break from making a huge effort for losing weight? I have some really good incentives, but just not the heart right now. I feel so overwhelmed and burdened by life's essential happenings.
I'm also finishing up a degree and internship, working 40 hours a week, and maintaining a family and social life, primary caregiver for our 2 dogs, run 90% of the errands, and maintain the housework. It's a lot. Oh, and we got bedbugs and they only bite me, so I'm dealing with that too. And hey, holidays. Lots of stresses.
I'd appreciate any of your thoughts or stories!
I sleep a lot. I eat comfort foods. I still make it to the gym 2-3 times a week... I'm struggling here. Anybody have any pointers? Should I just take a break from making a huge effort for losing weight? I have some really good incentives, but just not the heart right now. I feel so overwhelmed and burdened by life's essential happenings.
I'm also finishing up a degree and internship, working 40 hours a week, and maintaining a family and social life, primary caregiver for our 2 dogs, run 90% of the errands, and maintain the housework. It's a lot. Oh, and we got bedbugs and they only bite me, so I'm dealing with that too. And hey, holidays. Lots of stresses.
I'd appreciate any of your thoughts or stories!
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Replies
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Hey there, I know it's rough but keep your head up! I can definitely relate to what you're going through. I've suffered from depression (among other things) on and off since childhood, sometimes mild, sometimes severe; it's managed but always there in the background.
You have a lot on your plate, and depression makes it that much harder to get yourself to do everything you need to do. I still struggle daily getting myself to take care of my responsibilities that are just normal tasks most people do without thinking twice about, simply because they need to be done. I'm trying so hard to overcome this, but even simple chores around the house are neglected for way too long (I don't mean detail stuff like dusting, I mean necessities like cleaning the dishes, etc.).
Two years ago we also had bed bugs, which lasted for over half a year. They are awful, and I'm so sorry you have to deal with that on top of everything else. They also bit me more than anyone else (wtf, is up with them?! lol) and I was frequently covered in welts. We had to have multiple heat remediation treatments to finally get rid of them. Are you currently working with a pest control company that is experienced in dealing with bed bugs?
To be honest, when reading your post and all the things you have to take on, I was pretty impressed because while you're feeling overwhelmed it sounds like you're managing to get it all done, so..you kick *kitten*!
I don't think taking a complete break is a good idea, because if you think at all like I do (and I see you at least love comfort food like I do..) you might unintentionally begin allowing yourself to spiral out of control. If that happens, it certainly won't do anything positive for your depression, which in turn can affect the other areas of your life.
I would continue working out like you are, and still track what you eat but maybe stay around maintenance until you're feeling a little better. Eating less calories than you need, while necessary to lose fat, puts additional stress on your body which sounds like something you really don't need right now. Just focus on maintaining for a while until you feel that you're able to handle more.
I'm sorry that was so long, your post just jumped out at me because it hit so close to home. Good luck with everything, I wish you the best and hope your bed bugs are gone soon!
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I deal with this as well, although not as busy as you are, wow.
It seems that depression, sweet craving and insomnia are linked somehow. For me, solving the sleep thing is important, because it improves all the other things.
If you are already feeling overwhelmed, the last thing you probably want is to take on yet another task, especially a big one like weight loss. If your instincts tell you to set that aside for now, maybe listen to yourself. Have you taken this question to your therapist? Many people put the weight loss campaign on hold over the holidays, anyway.
If you still want to take some steps toward the weight loss goal, rather than abandoning that mission altogether, maybe there's a way to figure out just one thing that you have the capacity to do, and only do that for now. For example, just drink all the water you're supposed to. Or get all the rest you're supposed to.
Mainly, be kind to yourself.
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Thank you so much! I appreciated the lengthiness.
We have a pest control guy, it just is going to cost almost $1000, which we don't have. =\ Our friend's parents recently had them too and gave us the referral for the guy and he got rid of theirs in 2 or 3 treatments.
Good point about the extra stress on the body! I'd forgotten about that bit...
Warmest wishes to you, dear. It was nice to read your reply.0 -
You're welcome! Feel free to message or add me if you like or if you ever need some support. Take care! 0
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Everyone deals with stress and depression differently. Realizing that sometimes you really just can't "do it all" is freeing. Time to prioritize and do your best. Things can always get better or worse. Be grateful for what you do have and make a path with steps to where you want to be. Work with your therapist as he or she will understand your specific situation much better. Personality types are different and require different types of motivation.
One of my favorite quotes is: "The minefields in life never go away, we just get better at navigating them."
Personally I put off my weight loss journey until after I finished my degree. Do I regret waiting? Would things have been different if I didn't? Sure, but I honestly don't know if I could have been successful at both with everything else I had going on. All that matters is today and where I'm headed tomorrow. So I let those "what if's" go.
Best of luck and keep your head up!0 -
Paix_Amour wrote: »I've been depressed for a few months, seeing a therapist, blah blah blah. Not on medication (therapist recommended against it, actually).
I sleep a lot. I eat comfort foods. I still make it to the gym 2-3 times a week... I'm struggling here. Anybody have any pointers? Should I just take a break from making a huge effort for losing weight? I have some really good incentives, but just not the heart right now. I feel so overwhelmed and burdened by life's essential happenings.
I'm also finishing up a degree and internship, working 40 hours a week, and maintaining a family and social life, primary caregiver for our 2 dogs, run 90% of the errands, and maintain the housework. It's a lot. Oh, and we got bedbugs and they only bite me, so I'm dealing with that too. And hey, holidays. Lots of stresses.
I'd appreciate any of your thoughts or stories!
It seems like being overwhelmed is a very natural reaction to your situation. Are you communicating about the imbalanced workload or stifling your anger and resentment?
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Is there a reason your therapist advised against medication? If you've been going for a few months and are not making all that much progress, I'd say that you either should consider medication (even just a weak dose) or a different therapist/type of therapy. E.g. I do NOT respond well to cognitive behavioural therapy, I find it to be a load of poop. This is the type where the therapist basically tries to "change your thoughts" so that you will wind up changing your behaviour and depression. My therapist had me reading a self-help book with assignments in it, and omg that book... just made me hate everything. The little excerpts from the author would be things like "I had my client write down all the things he hated about himself, and then write why these weren't true, and the next day he told me that his 30-year depression was gone!" Like please.
Anyways. I definitely recommend meds or different therapist if you've not seen any positive changes. That previous therapist didn't help me much, but the medication definitely did. I do want to go back on medication though (I voluntarily went off of it, bad choice).
But with weight loss, it's all about calorie deficit. So if you estimate your maintenance needs, just eat 20% below that. Buying a food scale will yield the most accurate logging. But you can still eat all your comfort foods, as long as you are in a deficit. Exercise isn't needed either. If you currently work out for over an hour each time you go, you might want to consider lowering that to maybe 30 mins or just don't go at all for a while until things are less stressful. This would give you more time to do other things.0 -
The medication was ill-advised because of negative side effects from previous attempts with it... it was counter-productive to the therapy. It's a slow progress & I'm trying to take things just one day at a time. Exercise helps relieve some of the stress and I'd like to fit more in, but I have other responsiblities too. I've vented a little about the imbalance in the workload, but it's not done much. My boyfriend helps out some, but he works just as many hours as I do, but in a more physically demanding job.
@esjones12, I love that quote. 0 -
What kind of negative side-effects if you don't mind me asking? I've been through therapy a handful of times and it never took more than maybe a month to start seeing improvements. In most cases I've only had to go for a few months, actually, and this is with struggling with depression since I was really young. So I still do think that if there really hasn't been much progress, either a different therapist or medication is in line. Different medications cause different side-effects. I was lucky though that I didn't experience any obvious issues with my first medication. But some people wind up trying half a dozen or more before finding one that works. Not sure how the medication would be counter-productive to therapy though, generally medication helps complement verbal therapy for those who need the medical intervention and for some it's pretty much the only thing that helps. My issues are largely genetic/biological though so medication is a good route for me, but I definitely don't think that it's something that should 100% be taken off of the table for anyone if other methods aren't working or aren't working well enough.0
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OP, are you asking for advice on how to treat your depression or on how to lose weight?
Because while there are many people here (myself included) who could offer up our own relevant personal experiences, I'm sure you know and understand that none of us can take the place of a qualified therapist -- and I see you're doing the right thing by seeking help from a therapist for your depression.
It's a long haul and no two people are alike. And I wish you luck with your battle.
Having said that, there is a strong link between depression and difficulty losing weight. Many people either struggle to lose, stress eat, lose too much, and/or gain it all back and yoyo quickly leading to even worse issues. The truth is that it's very, very hard to lose weight successfully when you're dealing with depression.
It's like a triple-whammy: Your depression is going to make it much harder to motivate yourself to eat right and exercise. It's going to lie to you and tell you things like you're not worth it or there's no point. And it's also going to tell you (falsely) that your weight is a cause of your depression, and that if you could just get to your goal weight you'd be happier and less depressed.
In actual fact, it's the other way around: Losing weight won't cure your depression, but getting your depression under control will help you lose weight.
I'd say focus on you right now -- on getting well, on dealing with your stress and depression, on boosting your self-esteem and sense of self-worth. At some point if you do that, the fog will clear and the problem of how to lose weight will seem much easier and less daunting than it does now.0 -
I've found strenuous exercise to have alleviated my depression and anxiety better than any medication I've been on (with fewer side effects). A 20-30 minute session with intervals (i.e. HIIT, interval running) can get your brain running on lactate and ketones, and help balance out mood.
I sympathize with your problems with medication. I've had at least 4 tried out on me, and began to feel like a guinea pig. They made me sweaty, hungry, gave me dry mouth, gave me horrific nightmares, lowered my impulse control, and made it impossible to get up in the morning. Also, my doctor would only give me one month at a time, and I'd have to wait 2 weeks everytime I booked a follow-up appointment to see her, so I was constantly going on an off them...nightmare. I'm personally much better off without them now, but they did help for a time.
I never really experienced the boost in mood of light exercise (i.e. long walks - I've had a lot of those in the most depressed times of my life), but the intense stuff is really helping, and I'm finding I'm craving it...If have young children and are overwhelmed, keep in mind that I think pretty much everyone is these days. It will get easier as they get older and more independent, and start taking on more chores around the house.
Be forgiving and gentle with yourself over the holiday season. Good news - it's almost over. Best wishes 0 -
Sometimes you just need to get up and do what you have to do. I used to have severe depression and there were times were i just wish i didn't have to wake up everyday. Those are the exact times that count the most. Life can get hard, you have so many things you need to do and it feels like you just don't have time to work out or do anything you should be doing. But you need to get up and do it now. Sure you have a hectic day, you can list everything that's going wrong but it won't change anything. You either work out or you don't. Even a 15 minutes workout is better than no work out or just taking a walk, you don't have to go on an intense cardio workout. People always think you need some kind of motivation or have that "heart feeling" and then you'll work out but the truth is you need to take action first, that's when your heart feeling comes.
Whatever is going wrong , act on it. Wake up earlier, make yourself do it (it's sooo hard but you'll get into the habit) Don't buy any junk food for a while and plan or have ideas of what your meals are gonna be. Get an exterminator for your bed bugs. Whatever is going on, it'll pass, it might take a day, a week of even a year -but eventually it will go away. Depression makes things worse but as long as you're getting help and you keep moving forward, you'll be okay. Just take baby steps, just getting your diet on point will help a lot.(When i say diet, i don't mean only eating veggies and chicken 24/7 haha, but just keeping things in moderation) A little goes a long way. At the end of the day, the only thing that matters are results. Good luck 0 -
I've found strenuous exercise to have alleviated my depression and anxiety better than any medication I've been on (with fewer side effects)
This. When I was suffering with depression and anxiety, exercise gave me something to focus my mind on and work towards. However, I did not have as much going in my life as it sounds like you do!
Personal story and thought provoking - My therapist referred to my life as a "gas tank" and that, because I was depressed, my "gas tank" was running very low - almost empty. Every time I met with her we discussed how I planned to "fill my gas tank" with activities, etc. She suggested to me that even forcing myself to walk around a block once a week can fill that "gas tank" a little bit more each time so that eventually my "gas tank" will be full enough to want to go out and be active, etc. Or, taking an art class, music lesson (I personally started learning the guitar), cooking class, etc.. these all helped fill my "gas tank". What I finally discovered after thinking she herself was a bit strange with the "gas tank" analogy was that she was right. Every thing I pushed myself to do ended up benefiting me in the long run (filling that gas tank!) and I managed to successfully pull myself out of depression after 6 or so months.
Anyways, I am not a therapist, specialist, whatever. However, I have personal experience with depression (and anxiety) and weight loss, and I believe that you can accomplish both by taking things slow and balancing "life's essential happenings". It sounds like you have a lot on your plate right now, so going full speed and focusing your entire mind on weight loss may not be the best option for the time being. Perhaps you can try to prioritize the important things first (perhaps less of a social life for the time being, see if someone can take care of the dogs, get help with housework, etc) to try and eliminate some of the stress. Once the craziness of life is prioritized and balanced, focusing on losing weight will not just be another stressor, but something positive to work towards!
Be kind to yourself, believe in yourself. I wish you the best 0 -
You have A LOT on your plate.
As someone who suffers from anxiety (and depression caused by the anxiety), I would say your focus should be on getting mentally healthy. You can certainly lose weight while learning to manage/cope with depression but weight loss shouldn't take priority. Weight loss is mental. It can beat the hell out of you. Therefore, I believe it is important to be mentally healthy first.
Exercise is great for those with depression because it enhances the action of endorphins. Endorphins improve natural immunity and reduce the perception of pain. They can also improve mood. It is also believed that exercise stimulates norepinephrine (a neurotransmitter) which improves mood.
I am very happy your therapist didn't push pills down your throat. Antidepressants are overprescribed. I would also strongly advise against taking antidepressants because the side effects often outweigh the benefits. I personally gained 111 lbs over the past 3 years from antidepressants (and other medications for my Crohn's disease). Not only did I gain a tremendous amount of weight, I developed insulin resistance which is another side effect of long-term antidepressant use.
Once your degree and internship are complete, I think you will be less stressed which will consequently lead to a lower amount of depressive feelings. Continue seeing your therapist. Continue going to the gym. Possibly look into cognitive behavioral therapy.
Best of luck to you!0 -
Agree with PPs who suggested you just be kind to yourself, focus on getting better, and deal with your weight later.
Also, I just wanted to point out that research indicates that exercise has no effect on clinical depression, so don't beat yourself up for failing to work out, on top of everything else. (Yes, some people feel it helps, I know.)
http://www.theguardian.com/society/2012/jun/06/exercise-doesnt-help-depression-study
I was depressed/grieving for a long time and gained a lot of weight. I had never been fat before, and ended gaining around 60lbs in two years. It's taken a few years (and SSRIs) for me to develop the mental health to tackle my weight. Before now it seemed too hard. Now it's easy. I honestly believe weight loss is 90% in the mind and there's no point attempting it unless you're in the right mental state.
Hang in there. You'll get there.0 -
Agree with PPs who suggested you just be kind to yourself, focus on getting better, and deal with your weight later.
Also, I just wanted to point out that research indicates that exercise has no effect on clinical depression, so don't beat yourself up for failing to work out, on top of everything else. (Yes, some people feel it helps, I know.)
http://www.theguardian.com/society/2012/jun/06/exercise-doesnt-help-depression-study
I was depressed/grieving for a long time and gained a lot of weight. I had never been fat before, and ended gaining around 60lbs in two years. It's taken a few years (and SSRIs) for me to develop the mental health to tackle my weight. Before now it seemed too hard. Now it's easy. I honestly believe weight loss is 90% in the mind and there's no point attempting it unless you're in the right mental state.
Hang in there. You'll get there.
That's not true. Numerous studies prove exercise is an effective treatment for depression.
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC474733/
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3674785/
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/214955190 -
Do NOT take those anti-depressants. They often do not work well .. and almost always cause weight gain and just end up pushing the person deeper into depression. It is an endless spiral. I am VERY happy that the person above posted about exercise. I have been depressed my whole adult life .. over 30 years. But the salvation ... and no more depression now. Yes .. learned 15 months ago about exercise and its power and never turning back now. I take a very small dose now for sleep .. as I had insomnia and did not know it. The high dose of anti-depressants treated it. Other than that .. no pills as there is just no need anymore. I go to the gym 4-5 days a week and no more depression .. oh and as a bonus I am pretty fit now and in maintenance. And that study that says exercise is not effective for depression .. lies. I am living proof that it is an extremely effective method for treating depression.0
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FatFreeFrolicking. Those studies you linked to weren't in the same league as the British one. Did you read the article?
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FatFreeFrolicking. Those studies you linked to weren't in the same league as the British one. Did you read the article?
The studies I linked are actual peer-reviewed articles/studies from scientific databases. They are accurate, reliable, and unbiased. The Guardian is not a peer-reviewed scientific database. It's a newspaper, I believe. Also, the study only had 361 participants which is extremely minute and therefore, holds little value.0 -
The studies I linked are actual peer-reviewed from scientific databases. They are accurate, reliable, and unbiased. The Guardian is not a peer-reviewed scientific database. It's a newspaper, I believe. The article you linked holds no value.
The peer-reviewed study that her article is based on is available by clicking on a link within the article. http://bmj.com/content/344/bmj.e2758
Also, here on a site I am more familiar with: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3368484/
Edit for changing "his" to "her".
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It seems like being overwhelmed is a very natural reaction to your situation. Are you communicating about the imbalanced workload or stifling your anger and resentment?
QFMFT.Paix_Amour wrote: »I feel so overwhelmed and burdened by life's essential happenings.
I'm also finishing up a degree and internship, working 40 hours a week, and maintaining a family and social life, primary caregiver for our 2 dogs, run 90% of the errands, and maintain the housework. It's a lot. Oh, and we got bedbugs and they only bite me, so I'm dealing with that too. And hey, holidays. Lots of stresses.
bolded isn't sustainable. for you, anyway.
You have a lot on your plate and you need support.0 -
It seems like being overwhelmed is a very natural reaction to your situation. Are you communicating about the imbalanced workload or stifling your anger and resentment?
QFMFT.Paix_Amour wrote: »I feel so overwhelmed and burdened by life's essential happenings.
I'm also finishing up a degree and internship, working 40 hours a week, and maintaining a family and social life, primary caregiver for our 2 dogs, run 90% of the errands, and maintain the housework. It's a lot. Oh, and we got bedbugs and they only bite me, so I'm dealing with that too. And hey, holidays. Lots of stresses.
bolded isn't sustainable. for you, anyway.
You have a lot on your plate and you need support.
^ Yes.
Hire some help for cleaning house and walking dogs.
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My inkling is to push you to exercise more to see if it helps, but this is absolutely something you should discuss with your therapist and then decide on a course of action (or inaction, lol.)
Try to go easy on yourself, whatever you do. You're going through your own, personal struggle and there isn't a best way that's already been figured out, because your thing is unique to you. All you can do is your best...and whatever it is will be good enough. 0 -
you binge on comfort foods because your brain wants serotonin. i would steer clear of added sugars and try to include plenty of fiber. GRADUALLY cut down on the amount of carbohydrate you eat, and make it lower glycemic index. if you do it all of a sudden you'll bounce back to a binge, but if you gradually get your body used to having a more balanced blood sugar level, you'll be more on an even keel.
i'm a die hard sugar addict and it's taken me 18 months to get where i'm at now.0 -
FatFreeFrolicking (which doesn't sound like a very scientific weight loss strategy, by the way), the British study is the only randomised controlled study on this issue. And 361 is actually not a small number for a study of this type.
I think the expectation that clinically depressed people do vigorous exercise has the potential to do more harm than good. People who have no energy and are in psychic - and sometimes related physical - pain are often made to feel that they should pick themselves up by their bootstraps and get moving to heal themselves. The fact that the best research we have on the issue indicates this is not clinically helpful may be useful information for a depressed person feeling guilty about her failure to exercise.
I am aware that a lot of people find exercise helpful in mood management, but it should not be recommended as an efficacious treatment for clinical depression because there is no evidence that it is, and good evidence it's not.
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FatFreeFrolicking (which doesn't sound like a very scientific weight loss strategy, by the way), the British study is the only randomised controlled study on this issue. And 361 is actually not a small number for a study of this type.
I think the expectation that clinically depressed people do vigorous exercise has the potential to do more harm than good. People who have no energy and are in psychic - and sometimes related physical - pain are often made to feel that they should pick themselves up by their bootstraps and get moving to heal themselves. The fact that the best research we have on the issue indicates this is not clinically helpful may be useful information for a depressed person feeling guilty about her failure to exercise.
I am aware that a lot of people find exercise helpful in mood management, but it should not be recommended as an efficacious treatment for clinical depression because there is no evidence that it is, and good evidence it's not.
Lol. My username is a username- nothing more, nothing less. I eat plenty of fat.
Yes it is. 361 is not a large number considering millions of people suffer from clinical depression.
You clearly didn't read any of the studies I provided you.0 -
FatFreeFrolicking (which doesn't sound like a very scientific weight loss strategy, by the way), the British study is the only randomised controlled study on this issue. And 361 is actually not a small number for a study of this type.
I think the expectation that clinically depressed people do vigorous exercise has the potential to do more harm than good. People who have no energy and are in psychic - and sometimes related physical - pain are often made to feel that they should pick themselves up by their bootstraps and get moving to heal themselves. The fact that the best research we have on the issue indicates this is not clinically helpful may be useful information for a depressed person feeling guilty about her failure to exercise.
I am aware that a lot of people find exercise helpful in mood management, but it should not be recommended as an efficacious treatment for clinical depression because there is no evidence that it is, and good evidence it's not.
there's a lot of evidence for the role of exercise in alleviating depression (of mild to moderate severity, anyway), some of which was summarized above.. you can flat-out deny it exists, but it's not an ideal critique.
in this case, anyway, i suspect a lot of what's going on right now has to do with legitimate overwhelm and feelings of resignation in the face of stressors beyond OP's ability to cope.
OP, the degree and internship are temporary - if you can get help with the housework, errands and dogs (yeah, pay for it if you have to), you might find yourself feeling better equipped to deal with the first two.
adequate sleep is also important. you're burning the candle at three ends.
edit: also yes, the cultural expectation for people to engage in vigorous exercise is one thing - but even just walking has been shown to moderate mood (as you said), and more than that, but I'm not going to do a lit review here.
there's 'picking yourself up by the bootstraps', and then there's good self-care.0 -
The links you provided weren't to actual studies - they were to meta-analyses of a lot of small and/or related studies. Meta-analysis is what you do when you don't have proper randomised controlled studies on your hypothesis. The British study in the Guardian article was the first of its type.
A study's sample size isn't determined by the number of people affected by an issue. Reliability and validity are determined statistically.
I don't know why you are so committed to ignoring good science. If exercise helps you, great. No one is saying it doesn't help some people to feel better. The issue is whether it should be recommended as a treatment for clinical depression.
Frankly, I don't think any of us should really be giving advice to someone with clinical depression, so I'll shut up now.0 -
You're not speaking to the person who provided the links. I know about meta-analyses, sample sizes, reliability and validity. A small n may have less power but it doesn't mean it's good practice to ignore significant results.
But yeah, agreed re nonlicensed people providing therapy to a person with clinical depression. Randoms giving advice is another thing..0 -
The links you provided weren't to actual studies - they were to meta-analyses of a lot of small and/or related studies. Meta-analysis is what you do when you don't have proper randomised controlled studies on your hypothesis. The British study in the Guardian article was the first of its type.
A study's sample size isn't determined by the number of people affected by an issue. Reliability and validity are determined statistically.
I don't know why you are so committed to ignoring good science. If exercise helps you, great. No one is saying it doesn't help some people to feel better. The issue is whether it should be recommended as a treatment for clinical depression.
Frankly, I don't think any of us should really be giving advice to someone with clinical depression, so I'll shut up now.
This is a full study: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3674785/
Another full study: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC474733/
And another: http://www.ajpmonline.org/article/S0749-3797(04)00241-7/fulltext
The only one ignoring science, is you. And some of us actually have an education/degree in the subject at hand. Those of us are fully qualified to give advice.0
This discussion has been closed.
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