Inlaws

palwithme
palwithme Posts: 860 Member
in Motivation and Support
Curious if anyone is dealing with in-laws and losing weight? My MIL is so happy I have lost 38 pounds but then says in the next sentence "keep going - you still have a way to go." It makes me want to start drinking wine again - which I gave up to lose weight.

Replies

  • carriecarrio
    carriecarrio Posts: 70 Member
    That's just inappropriate. She should not be commenting on your weight. I do not have any advice for you other than just brush it off and try to avoid the topic with her.
  • palwithme
    palwithme Posts: 860 Member
    carriecarrio wrote: »
    That's just inappropriate. She should not be commenting on your weight. I do not have any advice for you other than just brush it off and try to avoid the topic with her.

    Thanks for saying that! Her son, my husband, has never made any comments about my weight. Strange situation all around.
  • queenliz99
    queenliz99 Posts: 15,317 Member
    edited December 2014
    Sometimes people have a hard giving compliments, they get caught up and don't know what else to say. I would just say thank you and smile. Remember, what you are doing is great and forget the rest :)
  • dawnmcneil10
    dawnmcneil10 Posts: 638 Member
    HAHAHA gotta love the backhanded compliment. Just brush it off, you can't let the little things like this bother you. People have odd ways of expressing themselves so the next time she says it just smile and say thank you, I'll be sure to credit a portion of my weight loss to you for your kind and encouraging words.

  • mrsmuckster
    mrsmuckster Posts: 444 Member
    Yes, and fortunately once the holidays are over, will be able to get back to normal routine. We spend a lot of time together this time of year. My in-laws are somewhat, shall we say "controlling". It has taken me a long time to realize I have the power to not allow anyone to control how I feel - easier said than done. It's not easy, to "grin and bear it". Since losing 35 pounds, I've lost weight in my face. My MIL asked if I did something different with my hair (I hadn't). My husband commented that my face is thinner and she said no, that's not it, she did something different with her hair. LOL
  • palwithme
    palwithme Posts: 860 Member
    dawnmcneil10 wrote: »
    HAHAHA gotta love the backhanded compliment. Just brush it off, you can't let the little things like this bother you. People have odd ways of expressing themselves so the next time she says it just smile and say thank you, I'll be sure to credit a portion of my weight loss to you for your kind and encouraging words.
    LMAO. This has been going on for 20 years with her. The backhanded compliments.
  • palwithme
    palwithme Posts: 860 Member
    mrsmuckster wrote: »
    Yes, and fortunately once the holidays are over, will be able to get back to normal routine. We spend a lot of time together this time of year. My in-laws are somewhat, shall we say "controlling". It has taken me a long time to realize I have the power to not allow anyone to control how I feel - easier said than done. It's not easy, to "grin and bear it". Since losing 35 pounds, I've lost weight in my face. My MIL asked if I did something different with my hair (I hadn't). My husband commented that my face is thinner and she said no, that's not it, she did something different with her hair. LOL

    Controlling is the word, and you are so right, I can't let people like that control how I feel about myself. It is so difficult. Part of this "project" of losing weight is learning not to control my emotions with food. Food is fuel. Period.
  • iheartinsanity
    iheartinsanity Posts: 205 Member
    Not from my husbands parents but my ex-husband (share children with him)'s parents accused me of being anorexic when I was 180lbs and told me I was losing it too fast since I'm a "big girl" and shouldn't be so thin, lol. She was a crash dieter who did so many stupid diets over the years and constantly failed. Bitterness would be acceptable for her.
  • enterdanger
    enterdanger Posts: 2,447 Member
    My mother in law is super passive aggressive like that too. I usually thank her then ask how her weight loss is going after a comment like that...since she's morbidly obese. It usually shuts her up.
  • spookyface
    spookyface Posts: 420 Member
    LOL yes I am dreading the razor sharp tongued SIL coming tomorrow night. Was hoping the snow storm predicted like 5 days ago would come so she wouldn't. No more snow storm predicted :( grin and bear and what we must do.
  • palwithme
    palwithme Posts: 860 Member
    enterdanger wrote: »
    I usually thank her then ask how her weight loss is going after a comment like that...since she's morbidly obese. It usually shuts her up.

    Great comeback!
  • 50andBeyond
    50andBeyond Posts: 5
    I can relate...my mother in law referred to a pre injury photo of mine to my kids and said 'there's skinny daddy'...of which I've never been skinny, just my gut hasn't been this big...old witch...things just haven't been the same, there's much more to the story with her miserablness, but that was the straw that broke this fat guys back...tension in my relationship now or not, my pride at one time was all I had (long term inactivity due to injury and attempted treatments)...some people just gotta kick you when you're at rock bottom...and you learn a lot about folks when down there looking up
  • palwithme
    palwithme Posts: 860 Member
    50andBeyond wrote: »
    ...some people just gotta kick you when you're at rock bottom...and you learn a lot about folks when down there looking up

    That is SOOOO true.
  • kristen6350
    kristen6350 Posts: 1,094 Member
    Life is too short to give up wine, IMHO. A glass a day is about 150 calories. I'd rather have that and give up a snack... Along this road, and it will be long, you just have to ignore rude comments from everyone and don't let them get to your head.
  • palwithme
    palwithme Posts: 860 Member
    kristen6350 wrote: »
    Life is too short to give up wine, IMHO. A glass a day is about 150 calories.

    If I could stop at one glass I wouldn't give it up. I love the stuff lol.
  • Need2Exerc1se
    Need2Exerc1se Posts: 13,576 Member
    palwithme wrote: »
    Curious if anyone is dealing with in-laws and losing weight? My MIL is so happy I have lost 38 pounds but then says in the next sentence "keep going - you still have a way to go." It makes me want to start drinking wine again - which I gave up to lose weight.

    Maybe she means well? Some people have no filter and suck at encouragement.

    Whether the comment was well or ill intentioned, it's still all her. Just say thanks, and let it go.
  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
    My response

    "oh thanks- I really appreciate that... just curious- however did you find time with you being such a busy body in everyone's life get a degree in medicine to tell me what's best for my body?"

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