The Girl in the Mirror

I have my good days. Days when i look in the mirror and dont see a 40 pound overweight woman. I see a beautful lady, with big almond eyes, long wavy hair and a smile I have always been complemented on. So I smile, in front of the mirror, and then through the entire day.

I have my bad days, when I look in the mirror, and I see a fat woman, with ugly arms, and bulging bags of fat hanging from everywhere, and the smile makes it worse. I take a picture of myself, who knows the mirror may lie! And I look again. This time the the tears dont stop. I bite my lips, dont give up. I wear somethin prettier, sexier and look again. The same, no, worse! I give up now!, feel misrable the entire day, avoid people cause I feel they would notice how overweight I have become and talk about it. AllI do is wait for the day to be over so that I could crawl back into the bed, hiding away, forever if possible.

Don't get me wrong, I am not depressed. In fact, I have many more good days then the bad days. But the truth isI want to stop having those bad days. I want to stop looking at the mirror with regret.I want to look, feel prettier, sexier. I want to wear sleevless and backless dresses and look good in them. I want to stop wearing clothes in xl size. I want to walk into tight spaces without being conscious. I want to stop feeling guilty for taking more space in a car pool ora crowded elevator. I wan to stop having to smile through all the jokes, remarks and the so called advices that are made on me, made to me! Most of all, I want to stop hiding now... no more, I deserve better!

I have about 40 pounds to lose to reach my goal weight. I have tried before, I will try again. This time I have my weapons ready. I have people to support and encourage me, I have the tools and resources I would need along the journey,, I have my fitness and meal plans on place and most importantly, this time, I have me, my full determination, enthusiasm and faith. This time, I know, I wont ever be scared of the mirror again.