Fat girl complex

AmberBarrios
AmberBarrios Posts: 394 Member
edited September 26 in Health and Weight Loss
Okay so I am by no means a skinny girl yet, but I have heard some people make comments about losing a lot of weight and still having the "fat girl/guy complex" you know what I mean.

Sitting on a chair carefully just to make sure it can hold your weight, eventhough you no longer need to worry about that.
Asking your significant other if you are squishing them or if they can breathe when you hug them or . . . .other things. (wink wink)
Avoiding certain stores cause in your mind nothing in there will fit you anyway.

SO anyone have this problem??? I am down over 50lbs and, again still not a skinny girl, but I find myself automatically going to the biggest size on the rack still sometimes when I am not thinking clearly, or worrying whether or not I am going to break the plastic chair. LOL

SO lets hear it people!
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Replies

  • MyaPapaya75
    MyaPapaya75 Posts: 3,143 Member
    I have it ...Im afraid to go to the Amusement park and try the roller coaster ..whats funny is Ive never been denied a ride...its just stuck in my head though ..perhaps this summer I will conquer it
  • AUPerry
    AUPerry Posts: 166
    I know exactly what you mean. I don't feel any smaller than I was when I first started losing weight. I honestly don't see that much of a change. I still feel like I'm looked at differently because I am bigger than everyone else.
  • ppiinnkkmmoonn
    ppiinnkkmmoonn Posts: 418
    everyday. and i was truly at one point a fat girl
  • bmw4deb
    bmw4deb Posts: 1,324 Member
    I tend to buy my cloths in sizes 2x bigger than I need, it is a very hard habit to break.
    (i dropped 30lbs before joining here) 1x shirts xlrg pants when lrg fits fine. I also tend
    to try and slouch?? thru a room if i have to walk in to it full of people.
  • becca_la
    becca_la Posts: 2
    I ocmpletely get that! I still shop in speacialtly stores for plus sizes, even thoguht i mostly don't have to anymore. I also worry about attracting a significant other because I feel unworthy to be with attractive people... So you aren't alone.
  • jhardenbergh
    jhardenbergh Posts: 1,035 Member
    I definately have this complex you speak of. I can't wait to go to six flags to ride the roller coasters I haven't been able to ride a roller coaster since around 2002. I use to live in Tampa, FL and would have the pass to go to Busch Gardens, but I could never ride the roller coasters. I also find myself going to the FMS (Fat Man Store) even though now I can fit into normal sizes.
  • Msfefe
    Msfefe Posts: 5
    I've lost about 34 pounds total and I would go into stores trying on size 14's because I just couldn't believe that a 10 or maybe an 8 would fit me. I was afraid of the smaller sizes being too tight and me getting discouraged.
  • Aesop101
    Aesop101 Posts: 758 Member
    Okay, I'm a guy and certainly not skinny. I know what you mean by fearing amusement rides because of weight. The thing I noticed most is the distance my belly is from the steering wheel. They use to meet. Then I feared booths at restaurants.

    Will I ever see myself as thin, nope! I don't want to be thin, I want to be healthy.
  • JMun
    JMun Posts: 409
    I'm totally still a fat girl. I look down and realize "WTF 67 lbs of me is MISSING". I forget that I'm no longer a walking pile of fatty goo.

    Connecting my mind to my new body is the hardest part for me right now.

    I catch glimpses of myself at various times of the day at work and I'm always momentarily confused about who that person is... its me! and I'm looking good!
  • JulyHummingbird
    JulyHummingbird Posts: 106 Member
    I know exactly what you mean. I'm halfway to my goal weight, having lost 54 lbs - still feel like a fat girl :) I realized the other weekend that the clothes in the 'big girl' shop were too big and I bought things at Old Navy (yay). I tell myself 'yeah, you look loads better but you're still a fat person'.

    I'm not sure what size/weight I will need to be before I stop thinking that way.
  • anewattitude
    anewattitude Posts: 483 Member
    It may take awhile to break that pattern but you are doing great! It's a one-day-at-a-time process!
  • concordancia
    concordancia Posts: 5,320 Member
    It works both ways for me. I can try on a pair of pants that I know I was wearing at this weight on the way up and they are NOT comfortable and probably don't look too good.
  • Bakkasan
    Bakkasan Posts: 1,027 Member
    Can a fat guy get in on this? I was denied 3 rides at disney this past november.
  • maryrshstattoo
    maryrshstattoo Posts: 206 Member
    There is hope! Keep working it and while you won't totally lose the fat girl/guy person that you once were you will begin to accept the differences you have worked so hard to achieve. Just don't let it sabotage you like it did me a few years back. I have finally started realizing that I am in shape LOL and for a former 263 lb lady that is just unheard of. I finally changed my activity level here on MFP from couch potato to active LOL. I still have a few lab coats that are 3x but only because I am BROKE! LOL Otherwise I have gotten rid of all my fat girl clothes and slow am replacing them with the new me clothes.
    Keep smiling when you look in the mirror and go to the small people’s clothes. I can't wait to go to bush gardens this year and ride every ride there! SUCCESS
  • LuckyLeprechaun
    LuckyLeprechaun Posts: 6,296 Member
    yes, I'm scared to go swimming at my gym because I don't want anyone to have to look at me in a swimsuit. I never wanna be that girl who everyone snickers at and says Can you believe she wore that!?
  • mishelnkiki
    mishelnkiki Posts: 775 Member
    when i first started, i couldnt fit into booths at a restaurant. that was 85 lbs ago, and i still find myself telling my family... not a booth please. and i fit in them just fine, its just habit. also, i too buy my clothes a lil bit bigger. and i still refuse to look at myself fully naked in the mirror. i dont have full mirrors in my house for that reason. i think we all have our " complex's "
  • mishelnkiki
    mishelnkiki Posts: 775 Member
    I ocmpletely get that! I still shop in speacialtly stores for plus sizes, even thoguht i mostly don't have to anymore. I also worry about attracting a significant other because I feel unworthy to be with attractive people... So you aren't alone.
    i too will sometimes see a guy and tell myself... why would a hottie like him wanna be with a fatty like me. but.. i guess its time i stop that!
  • iamstaceywood
    iamstaceywood Posts: 383 Member
    Yup. Its always gonna be like that I think. I don't know what my deal is either but, same story. STart int he plus size clothes, and then work my way down. I was wearing a size 26 this time last year, now im in a tight 12, baggy 14. I love it. And I love trying on fifteen things because I can find them that fit. But, i'm still always thinking people drive past me and snicker about me walking my dog and the waitress thinks im stupid when i order my dressing on the side. Whatever. Someday, right?
  • kristarablue
    kristarablue Posts: 702 Member
    You know there is also what I like to call "fat boy syndrome," but it is a little different. You see it is when men lose a ton of weight and change what they are looking for in a women because now that they think they look good, they don't look at the chicks that are rubenesque anymore they are now all about the hotties (can’t really blame them)... I suppose women may do this as well, I have just seen it more often in men.
  • baisleac
    baisleac Posts: 2,019 Member
    My husband lost 60 lbs about 10+ years ago (a few years before I met him) and he STILL goes for the way too big racks.

    Drives me nuts even if I do understand it. :smile:
  • TexasNurseMom78
    TexasNurseMom78 Posts: 897 Member
    I am down 50lb, which is great I know, and I still ahve abour 50 more to go at least. SO I am not totally out of the "fat girl" phase of my life. But I do find it hard to believe compliments people give me now and in my head i still feel as big as I was some days.
  • AmberBarrios
    AmberBarrios Posts: 394 Member
    So glad to see I am not the only one! I totally conqured the amusement park ride thing two weeks ago yeah!
  • mommybgood
    mommybgood Posts: 19
    A few months after having my last child I went out to eat with my husband and couldn't fit in a booth. That was the last straw for me. I'm down almost 80lbs, but still cringe when I'm shown to a booth at a restaurant. Plastic chairs horrify me, especially the ones with the arm rests because my butt used to get stuck. When people pass me on the street and smile, a little part of me still feels like they're laughing.
    Yeah, I definitely have the fat girl complex.
  • brandy2076
    brandy2076 Posts: 37 Member
    I agree. I also hate when people tell me how great I look. It just makes me that much more aware of how I used to look. And I still have a long way to go - but I don't know if I will ever be happy.
  • AmberBarrios
    AmberBarrios Posts: 394 Member
    OMG I totally forgot about the booth thing!!! I too was horrified when we would go to a restaurant and they would show us to a booth. I now can fit in them but still cringe a little thinking in my head what if I don't fit! Also hate the plastic chairs cause my butt too would get stuck or squish out the side and I was always terrified that it would break. I still find it odd when a guy looks at me and smiles, other than my husband, I always think "what is his problem!" LOL

    Funny, well not really funny story. What kind of pushed me to start this whole journey, other than a general disgust of how far I had let it go and how nothing ever fit and all those things, was one day at wal-mart. My husband and I had gone to wal-mart to buy new camping chairs for a trip to the river that weekend, as we were looking at the chairs my husband was intently examining the label. My husband never reads labels so I was courious and asked what he was looking at, he looked up at me and just said oh nothing. Later putting the chairs in the car I saw him looking at it again and I said "what is so interesting about the label?" He said quietly "I was checking the weight limit to make sure you can sit in it." at first I was disgusted at him for thinking such a thing then later that day I was disgusted with me! I couldn't believe I had gotten to a point that my husband felt it neccessary to check weight limits on chairs.

    That and a HORRIBLE photo of me were the straw that broke the camels back and I said to myself, no way am I going to let this get worse! And one year later (today is my one year anniversary of the beginning of the new me) I am happy to say I can do things today that I haven't been able to do since before I had my daughter 11 years ago! I can run more than to the kitchen! I can get off the floor without assistance! I can ride any ride at an amusement park cause I no longer exceed the weight limit! I am down almost 60lbs (been stuck since january, but won't give up) and down from a size 24 jeans to a loose size 18. I look and feel like a new person and I hope that when I hit my 2 year anniversary I will be able to say all these things and more!
  • PrairieRoseNE
    PrairieRoseNE Posts: 265 Member
    Here's another perspective - I've lost 40+ pounds and I look in the mirror and think "Hey, lookin' good".......until I step on the scale and I see how much I STILL weigh....and then I think "How can I still weigh this much???!!!!" And when I check my BMI and it still says obese - I wanna cry. My hubby, in an effort to cheer me up says, "Maybe you just have heavy bones??" :-) Thanks honey, but the scale doesn't lie.

    However, I know I've made progress because I've dropped from size 26 to size 18 and I've steadily been able to pack away my "fat girl" clothes.

    So I don't think of myself as a Fat Girl (maybe a bit plump yet) but I have no clue what other people think when they see me??

    Therefore, until the BMI says normal - I'll just have to keep plugging away!
  • fcrisswell
    fcrisswell Posts: 234 Member
    everyday. and i was truly at one point a fat girl

    Ditto!

    I still gravitate towards the plus sizes and it's been over 3 years since I wore them!
  • baisleac
    baisleac Posts: 2,019 Member
    My hubby, in an effort to cheer me up says, "Maybe you just have heavy bones??" :-) Thanks honey, but the scale doesn't lie.

    Actually, the scale CAN lie... and BMI is only "accurate" for "average" people. It was created to study communities, not individuals.

    Yes, many people use "I just have big bones" as an excuse for being overweight but... some people do actually have big bones. Likewise, some have small bones.

    http://www.dietandfitnesstoday.com/bodyFrame.php - uses elbow width or wrist circumference to determine frame size. For small frames, subtract 10% from ideal weight ranges, for large frames add 10%.
  • ppiinnkkmmoonn
    ppiinnkkmmoonn Posts: 418
    everyday. and i was truly at one point a fat girl

    Ditto!

    I still gravitate towards the plus sizes and it's been over 3 years since I wore them!


    LOL i still do it too lol just to see if the clothes look better.
  • PrairieRoseNE
    PrairieRoseNE Posts: 265 Member
    My hubby, in an effort to cheer me up says, "Maybe you just have heavy bones??" :-) Thanks honey, but the scale doesn't lie.

    Actually, the scale CAN lie... and BMI is only "accurate" for "average" people. It was created to study communities, not individuals.

    Yes, many people use "I just have big bones" as an excuse for being overweight but... some people do actually have big bones. Likewise, some have small bones.

    http://www.dietandfitnesstoday.com/bodyFrame.php - uses elbow width or wrist circumference to determine frame size. For small frames, subtract 10% from ideal weight ranges, for large frames add 10%.


    Thank you!!
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