How to stay motivated

leeds230
leeds230 Posts: 46 Member
edited November 9 in Motivation and Support
I've been trying to lose weight now on & off for a number of years. I've recently stopped tracking my calories for various reasons but have been noticing some issues lately. My knees have started to become painful for one thing - I'm only 30! I don't obviously want to wait for any kind of wake up call but I should really be trying more as a GP told me recently that people are advised to lose weight prior to getting pregnant - hubby & I are trying for baby no.2 currently, however even this isn't giving me enough motivation to lose weight & become more active.

I can't afford a personal trainer & due to childcare issues it's not easy for me to attend any exercise classes. I've also found in the past that I'll try out exercise DVD's or games & bought myself a mini exercise bike but after a while I stop them as well.

How can I stay motivated enough to actually do something about my weight? I am aware of the need but just don't seem motivated enough to do anything.

I work 25 hours in an office, look after my son (my husband works 60+ hours as a security guard so isn't at home as much), I sing in a choir once a week but also type at home for a medical transcription company to earn more money, cross stitch when I can & watch tv. Unfortunately the thought of going out for a walk with my son always feels like too much effort, I'd rather stay at home. Oh & I don't have much self-confidence about my looks!!

Am I a bit of a lost cause??

Replies

  • debubbie
    debubbie Posts: 767 Member
    I think until you truly decide you want to lose weight, you won't find the desire to do it. You have mentioned several good reasons to lose weight; to stop knee pain, to have a second child, for your son, to boost your self-confidence but until YOU WANT to make a change for yourself there may not be much anyone can say to help motivate you. I am not saying that to be mean, but in honesty. I wasn't ready to lose the weight until the pain from my fibromyalgia reached a point that I was tired of being miserable. I also received a wake-up call when my father died before he was 60 because of heart, cholesterol, and high blood pressure problems.

    You may need to think about WHY you want to lose weight and WHY you have quit in the past. Are you setting your expectations too high or setting unrealistic goals that are impossible to reach? Have you tried setting smaller goals for yourself, maybe losing 5 pounds in a month, exercising a few times a week by taking your son for a walk or having him play some workout games with you, or cooking a few lower calorie meals each week? Have you moved your exercise bike so you can watch tv while you ride? For the first 20 pounds or so that I lost last year that was mainly what I did, rode my bike and watched Netflix.

    For me, I stay motivated by keeping a journal of my measurements and exercise accomplishments. When I start feeling depressed about my lack of progress I can look back and see that I have improved fitness wise and lost several inches as well as pounds throughout my attempt to lose weight. I like to complete fun runs and virtual races, I am definitely one of the slower people there but I am having fun and improving my health. I quit relying on a scale to check my weight to see the amount of weight I lost because if I didn't see the results I thought I should see, i would get frustrated and would quit. I rely more on my journal, the way my clothes fit, improving my time in the mile, and how many inches I have lost. This has given me a better feeling of accomplishment and I don't feel as bad if I make mistakes, because there are going to be times that I am going to make mistakes. Trust me on this, I lost 48 pounds in the last year and wanted to lose 100!

    If you would like to send me a friend request and we can support each other, please feel free to do so. I wish you nothing but the best in the upcoming year.
  • tibby531
    tibby531 Posts: 717 Member
    I'm all about the habit, for me. I haven't been motivated since before thanksgiving, but I've kept my habit of rolling out of bed and working out before I'm awake enough to talk myself out of it. these past six (or is it seven, now?) weeks have been "horrible," food-wise, but I just have to stick to my habit and wait for the will-power to come back around.

    best of luck!
  • fearlessleader104
    fearlessleader104 Posts: 723 Member
    You don't need to exercise to lose weight
  • bwogilvie
    bwogilvie Posts: 2,130 Member
    The last two posts are spot on. You don't need to exercise to lose weight. You just need to eat less than your body needs for maintaining itself and whatever activities you do during the day (cooking, cleaning, working, whatever). It's not complicated. It is hard, though.

    Exercise does help, though. It lets you eat more than you otherwise could, while still losing weight, and it helps you feel better and stronger. The only way to ensure that you do it is to make it a habit. I think it's especially important for parents to help their children develop the habit of exercising and being outdoors when they're young. Taking your son for a walk is a great thing to do. It doesn't have to be a challenge, and you can stop and look at things on the way. Make a game of finding something new, or visiting a new place. Exercise doesn't have to be a hard slog.
  • gettinfitaus
    gettinfitaus Posts: 161 Member
    I am absolutely in the habit camp. I know that when I was younger I created the habit of going to the gym 5 days a week. It stopped being a question of will I or won't I but became a case of I go Mondays Tuesdays Thursdays Fridays and Saturdays. That simple.

    Right now I am working on habit forming. I know once I get to the stage that it is a habit it will be SO MUCH EASIER to do. To that end I have purchased an iPod shuffle which will hopefully be winging it's way towards me soon. Upon arrival it will be given to DH to hold onto, I won't be getting my grimy little hands on it until I have worked out 5 times a week for a full month. So January is my goal. I will probably reward for consistency again in February to make sure it sticks (probably a new top or some pants, maybe something else IDK) but after that rewards will be achievement based.

    Oh yeah!! Reward yourself! Find something you REALLY want but that you wouldn't ordinarily get (a new top, a piece of equipment, something pretty but NOT food!) and use it as a motivator. I know that when I get down to a size 8-10 (aus sizing) I will be getting a new wardrobe of cute clothes, DH and I have already discussed it. That is my ultimate goal, but along the way I am rewarding myself, a $10 pair of workout pants here, a $20 top there when I reach a significant milestone, 10kg down, 20kg down, run 5km in 45min, run 5km in 30min you get the idea.

    I can appreciate that working out around your kiddo is hard, have you considered a gym with a creche? 1 hour in the creche will be a fun time for him and it gives you a chance to get your workout in. Or perhaps waking up early and going for a walk/run before DH leaves for work in the morning. I also look for alternative reasons for getting out. I know for a fact that I am much more motivated to get things done on the mornings that I have gone out for my run first thing, it's like it multiplies the time that I have available to get stuff like housework and study and stuff done.

    While you can lose weight without exercise the results that you will get from exercise make the effort worth it.
  • leeds230
    leeds230 Posts: 46 Member
    Thank you all for your posts xx
  • DawnieB1977
    DawnieB1977 Posts: 4,248 Member
    I agree with making it habit..once you start exercising you do get used to it. I've been doing it for years now (even exercised until 38 weeks pregnant) and I feel stressy if I don't exercise.

    You also need to think about why you want to lose weight. Being slim and fit for trying for another baby was one of my motivations (not now, I have three!) but also being fit and active for my children, and not wanting to be the fat mum at the school gates. My eldest is 5 and in year 1, and they're aware of weight and size. I don't want my son to ask me why I have a big tummy. Luckily he hasn't, but I'm not huge, just bigger than I'd like to be 8 months post partum.

    I find it a bit sad that you don't want to take your son for a walk. My kids are really active and love going out. If anything, do this for him. I sometimes wish my kids were lazier lol, but I'm glad I've encouraged them. My 3 year old sometimes brings me my shoes and asks to go out. Kids also copy our eating habits. If I ask my kids what they want to eat, it's things like chicken and broccoli, ham, tuna and jacket potato, and my 3 year old snacks on fruit. They're always asking about what's healthy.

    Is there a local gym with a crèche? My gym has one. I don't use it that often as my husband works shifts so I can fit my gym sessions round those, but it's handy to use if there's a morning class I really want to do and my husband's at work.

    I just got a Fitbit for Xmas, which is also motivating. I got a Zip, and they're not that expensive, so maybe consider one. It's nice watching those steps add up.

    Rewards are also a good idea....a haircut, new make-up, me gym clothes etc.

    I have to admit I see my gym time as 'me' time and that motivates me too. I could stay home and do laundry/tidy/Hoover/look after kids etc or spend an hour on my own, not being a mum.

    I know people say you don't need to exercise to lose weight, but I feel so much better for exercising, and I also like being fit, and challenging myself to do more things, like recently I ran just over 5K.
  • Pootler74
    Pootler74 Posts: 223 Member
    Building a habit is hard at first. But after about 3 or 4 weeks of making yourself do something, it becomes ingrained.

    The way I did it was to tell myself I just had to get my gym kit on. I didn't HAVE to work out if I really didn't feel like it. So I made a habit of getting dressed in my gym kit in the mornings. Once my son had gone to school, I could sit at home and read the news, or go to the gym. Well it felt silly slobbing around in my gym kit, so I told myself I'd just go do a little bit of cardio. Or take a walk. Just 15 minutes of something. Once I got that far, I found myself not hating it and did 30 minutes. And then 45. So I did that 3 or 4 times a week on set days until it started to feel worse NOT going, than it did to just go.

    What also helped was having someone I wanted to impress. I told them of my intention to work out 4 times a week, and sometimes just thinking how daft I'd feel if they found out I;d not been to the gym was enough to make me go. :)
  • tulips_and_tea
    tulips_and_tea Posts: 5,741 Member
    Sounds to me like you listed all of your (should be) motivation: painful knees at a young age, desire for baby#2, your current child, low self-esteem. I guess it depends on how badly you want to change these things.

    I, too, find it sad that it's "too much work" to take your son for a walk. What age are we talking here? Stroller age? Load him up, give him some toys and get out there. He'll enjoy it. Old enough to walk with you? Go on an adventure: collect leaves, throw snowballs, or look at the clouds, etc. Be active and LIVE and don't view moving around as a drudgery. That will get you no where.
  • sherambler
    sherambler Posts: 303 Member
    I can totally relate--even the wanting to have babies as motivation part. I'm a bit in limbo--one foot in creating good habits and another foot in my old way of thinking and doing. I'm finally beginning to understand what it really means to take it one day at a time, which I think was my first big hurdle to overcome. Someone above mentioned setting realistic expectations, which I'm actually doing this time around and it seems to be helping. I used to think that and taking it slow was mumbo jumbo...what's the difference between setting a 2lb weekly weight loss and 3 or 4 or 5? A lot. I was just setting myself up for failure. I wasn't being honest with myself about how much work, time and energy was involved with losing that much weight. A lot of it for me this time has been shifting the way I think.

    For me, motivation as we traditionally think of it is kind of faulty and reliable. I think it's because being at a weight where it would be healthy for me to have a baby or getting under 200 lbs or not having a double chin, etc. is so far away that it doesn't actually provide any real motivation at all, it only serves to remind me just how far I have to go. Instead, I just try focusing on more current/present numbers and successes. Did I hit my calorie goal today? Did I exercise today? Did I write in my journal today? It's been 20 days since my last binge. You get the idea. Seeing little bits of progress rather than looking ahead to the end goal has helped me want to keep up my progress.

    When I fall off the wagon, I try to pick myself up as quickly as I can...sometimes that's the same day, sometimes it's a month, but I just remind myself that I did pick myself back up. I used to tell myself when things got hard that I could always just start over, but that was providing myself an excuse to quit before I even got started, which I'm now trying to stop myself from doing. When I'm able to decrease the time between not logging or not exercising and logging and exercising, I see that as progress too. I reflect on what I learned, where I faltered, and try to do better.

    Basically, I realized that I used to quit because I wasn't used to things being hard or being a little uncomfortable. So by going slow and setting more realistic expectations, I'm able to slowly confront and handle the hard bits of weight loss. Now I'm starting to see some progress.
  • 2snakeswoman
    2snakeswoman Posts: 655 Member
    All good suggestions; I'm paying attention.

    I tried to motivate myself with a reward several times but it didn't work for me. I'm more than willing to give up things that I want, apparently. So now I've decided on a penalty. If I don't lose at least 2 pounds in a month, I have to cut off 1 inch of hair. This is important to me because I have a goal of growing my hair as long as it will grow. My first month (over Thanksgiving) I had to cut the inch. I don't want to have to do that again!

    Of course I don't know how good a housekeeper you are, but I was kind of a minimalist. I kept things reasonable - washed the dishes, wiped spills, etc. I decided that my first line of exercise would be to become a better housekeeper. I've spent hours scrubbing/cleaning old grout, mopping, and waxing floors since then. Wow - does it ever look good in here! I also have a gym membership until the end of April. I probably won't renew that as I have discovered that I hate going to the gym. But for right now, I need to get offline and get ready to go to the gym.

    Good luck!
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