"You have a really pretty face....."

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2

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  • Atarahh
    Atarahh Posts: 485 Member
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    My whole being is pretty, and more than pretty, I am gorgeous, sexy, sassy, free, confident, blessed, beautiful, and bountiful. I am worthy and I am enough! Don't discount me! I'm with you honey. Don't allow anyone to hold up their measuring stick to you.

    I shut down MF's who come at me with that "pretty face" stuff.
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,742 Member
    edited January 2015
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    bulbadoof wrote: »
    i never get why people think "you have a pretty face" is a backhanded compliment. My 110-lb sister gets told she has a pretty face. Unless they specifically say "pretty for a big girl" or something like that that directly comments on weight, I think you could be projecting just a teensy bit.

    Maybe sometimes.

    But when you spend your entire teens and twenties obese and you get the half-pitying "you have a really lovely face" compliment hundreds of times, you know that it's not just a compliment, it's a statement on your weight problem too.

    Sometimes it is also a statement of amazement that you don't have a double chin. I'm not even kidding. I didn't get a double chin 'til I hit like 290 lb and some people actually told me "you are pretty in the face and don't look very big" or "you have a thin person's face!" WTF

  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
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    levitateme wrote: »
    yoovie wrote: »
    bigislandgrrl wrote: »
    I guess I just don't understand the need to give a "compliment" at all. I mean, by all means tell me that my outfit is awesome, or my boots are bad *kitten* - we could even go so far as to tell me I have gorgeous hair (which of course I do) but why feel the need to compliment anyone on their body parts???

    have you ever told a little girl that she had pretty eyes? or a little boy that he had a great smile and laugh?

    I see your point, but I also so OP's point. Saying "you have such a pretty face" to an overweight woman is basically saying "You have such a pretty face... you should lose weight because you would be 'really' pretty if you weren't so fat."

    I never got the "pretty face" comments, mostly because my face is not attractive at all when I am overweight. If I had though, it would have felt like a backhanded compliment. Any compliment that includes "...but..." is not really a compliment, IMO.

    i dont think that saying one thing is basically saying something else or that we can really assign motives to others' compliments because we are delicate about something.

    Just because a person is overweight doesnt mean that compliments toward them are twisted or satirical. We ALL know that overweight does NOT mean that you CANNOT be beautiful and that others cannot see your beauty. That is a sad sad world and something that we are constantly fighting against.

    <3
  • monica_reinert
    monica_reinert Posts: 99 Member
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    That's so funny! I have heard that comment all my life! I have also heard you have a beautiful completion. What a joke! I know people are trying to be nice but sometimes don't you wish they would say nothing at all. Feel free to add me. I am always looking for more friends and I have an open diary!
  • disneygallagirl
    disneygallagirl Posts: 515 Member
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    AngryViking1970 wrote: »
    I'm not sure it's the phrase "you have such a pretty face" so much as the tone that's used when someone says it. There's pity in it and that is not in any way complimentary.

    ^ the tone/delivery can change the meaning of words. Most of the time you can tell if someone is being sincere in their compliment. So, smile and say thanks!

    ...and BFDeal - you have sexy legs. :D

  • _Waffle_
    _Waffle_ Posts: 13,049 Member
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    bigislandgrrl wrote: »
    Any of you sick of hearing this? Its totally backhanded but because its a "compliment" we need to be nice about it!?! I'm gonna have a healthy body to go along with my pretty face! Any girls with "pretty faces" looking to lose 80 - 100 + lbs? Wanna be friends?

    I think you're internalizing the comment and applying your own filter. Guys can't tell you "Hey, I love your boobs and that *kitten* is kicking." Simply commenting on the face means you're telling the girl you like her for her and not just for sexual reasons. Give the guy a chance. You might get more specific comments if you're open to them.
  • bulbadoof
    bulbadoof Posts: 1,058 Member
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    seltzermint wrote: »
    bulbadoof wrote: »
    i never get why people think "you have a pretty face" is a backhanded compliment. My 110-lb sister gets told she has a pretty face. Unless they specifically say "pretty for a big girl" or something like that that directly comments on weight, I think you could be projecting just a teensy bit.

    Maybe sometimes.

    But when you spend your entire teens and twenties obese and you get the half-pitying "you have a really lovely face" compliment hundreds of times, you know that it's not just a compliment, it's a statement on your weight problem too.

    Sometimes it is also a statement of amazement that you don't have a double chin. I'm not even kidding. I didn't get a double chin 'til I hit like 290 lb and some people actually told me "you are pretty in the face and don't look very big" or "you have a thin person's face!" WTF
    actually, i've been there and done that. around your exact weight actually, and i got my double chin much earlier. when someone told me i had a pretty face, they probably also told my sister that at some point if they knew us both. unless my weight was mentioned specifically ("you don't look very big", "you have a thin person's face" etc) why should i take it as backhanded when the skinny sixteen-year-old got the exact same compliment?

    now, if i was insecure about my weight personally and wanted to find a way to twist everything to validate that belief, i might have felt differently.
  • FitGeekery
    FitGeekery Posts: 336 Member
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    The version I've been hearing and STILL hear to this day is "You have such a pretty face, if only..."

    Yup, there's always that "if" tacked on at the end. As if the ellipses and awkward silence is any less insulting than just saying "If only you were thinner" lol

    Getting ready to start over for the 100th time, have about 70lbs to lose, feel free to add me :)
  • jamieporter22
    jamieporter22 Posts: 18
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    I think its our own insecurity that makes us think negatively about someones motives. I have heard that a million times, always been tall and heavy. Im 35 now, have 2 kids & a wonderful husband. I know how i feel about how i look and thats all that matters. I dont like being over weight, been up & down, happy but mostly unhappy. Im getting in shape for me! Who cares what other people think! Just take what they say for what it is.
  • jacksonpt
    jacksonpt Posts: 10,413 Member
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    "you have a pretty face" or "you're pretty" is a compliment... don't twist it based on your own insecurities.

    "you have a pretty face, but"... um, probably not so much.
  • jamieporter22
    jamieporter22 Posts: 18
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    Exactly!!!!
  • SweetMegz04
    SweetMegz04 Posts: 459 Member
    edited January 2015
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    Ugh I had this comment said to me by my Father's GF- indirectly (whom I dislike) she has commented on my & my sisters weight to him before and apparently always says "I have such a pretty face"
  • ucbycindy
    ucbycindy Posts: 23 Member
    edited January 2015
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    I know...recently someone at work told a coworker...I didn't realize she had such a pretty face!?!? Really, could see me just the fat?!?!?! LOL OMG.

    PS jacksonpt...there are those who mean it and those who have double edged to the comment :)...the bottom line is they are right ;)...the inside is even better :)
  • nannersp61
    nannersp61 Posts: 2,315 Member
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    Atarahh wrote: »
    My whole being is pretty, and more than pretty, I am gorgeous, sexy, sassy, free, confident, blessed, beautiful, and bountiful. I am worthy and I am enough! Don't discount me! I'm with you honey. Don't allow anyone to hold up their measuring stick to you.

    I shut down MF's who come at me with that "pretty face" stuff.

    Ooooh, I love "bountiful"-that really resonates with me.
  • aplcr0331
    aplcr0331 Posts: 186 Member
    edited January 2015
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    So you don't have a pretty face? Or you do and don't want the compliment about it? Was it from a guy? Was he ugly or cute?

    Why do you want to lose weight? Is it bad to be overweight? Is it good to be overweight? Why don't you love your pretty and overweight entire self? If someone likes your face but thinks you need to lose some weight (which by the way you obviosluy think you do otherwise you would not be here) and you feel the same as them. How is that a bad thing?

    I'm not following.
  • nannersp61
    nannersp61 Posts: 2,315 Member
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    And, you can add me too. I like my smile, my eyes and my hair, on good days. You gotta start somewhere. Wouldn't be here if I wasn't working on the rest of me.
  • RoxieDawn
    RoxieDawn Posts: 15,488 Member
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    busseybl wrote: »
    Wow! That almost sounds rude to me!

    I never never never meant that to sound rude. It is actually the complete opposite - 360 degrees opposite.

    I add this comment after reading what others have now posted... People do not generally have any motives, have ill will towards another or are trying to be mean by giving someone the comment "You have a pretty face" and it's our own judgment of how we take/accept or even dismiss a compliment - or in this case a statement one says to another one.

    I used to be anorexic and people would say how thin I was! Never complimented on my face. How do you think I took that?

    It was up to me to "judge" if they were trying to be mean or have a motive in trying to make me feel bad about myself. There are really mean people out there... but in general I think there are good spirited people that mean well.. It's how we internalize it based on how we feel about our selves...

    I hope this one comes across to others as being positive unlike the poster after me thought I was being rude.



  • savila311
    savila311 Posts: 9 Member
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    Add me! :)
  • Angie1212mfp
    Angie1212mfp Posts: 30
    edited January 2015
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    My mother used to say me, honey you are such a pretty girl, but of you could just lose a little weight, you'd be pretty all over. ;) Gee, thanks mom... I think .. :/
    Add me.... :)

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