Snide comments?

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  • gc_tweety
    gc_tweety Posts: 205 Member
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    I find it really helps to assume other people are doing the best that they can and respond with as much kindness as possible. Don't get defensive. A lot of times, the snide tone that you think you hear was not intended. And if it WAS intended, there's nothing quite as disarming as replying kindly. It can be a simple as a smile.

    Perfectly said.:smile:

    I'm so sorry for your loss.
  • heyitsadam
    heyitsadam Posts: 70 Member
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    Once you started to loose weight and people started to notice, did you get any snide comments? Well, I have two relatives (not husband) who is making snide remarks.... things like "I don't have to exercise to loose weight"...." so glad I wear pretty clothes again"...

    Now I have not told anyone that I am loosing weight, dieting or exercising. Not even posted anything on face book or anything yet. But I know the weight loss is starting to show and other friends are saying "wow you look good, you've lost a few pounds...keep it up"

    How do you deal with the snide comments? Maybe I am just being touchy, because I have not told them, so maybe those comments are really aimed at me?

    I love the backhanded compliment, "You look so much better now."

    Gee, thanks *kitten*.
  • egwene1977
    egwene1977 Posts: 69
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    I took my mother-in-law to lunch at Ruby Tuesday on Sunday, so when I "checked in" on Facebook, someone commented, "how can you eat at a restaurant if you're trying to lose weight". I probably over-reacted to it, but he made it sound like I had no self control. I love that restaurants have low calories menu items now.

    Just remember, haters gonna hate, and you're gonna look great :)
  • rich347
    rich347 Posts: 508 Member
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    I don't take snide comment personal its not a reflection of you its their own insecurities
  • Shirlls123
    Shirlls123 Posts: 65 Member
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    As others have said, anyone who makes comments which makes people feel bad about losing weight, it's more about themselves and how they feel about their own weight which drives them to say these things. They are just annoyed that you have successfully lost weight and they aren't doing as well as you. Take it as a compliment :) .

    What I find equally as annoying as snide comments is when you have lost weight and it is noticeable to anyone who hasn't seen you in ages, but they don't say anything. Would it hurt for them to say something to show they notice? I know this is a bit of a grey area and people aren't sure if they should say anything in case it's taken the wrong way and you think they are implying you were big before, but it is frustrating when you haven't seen someone in ages and they don't say a thing when you have visibly lost weight.

    (steps off soap box :) )
  • minijag06
    minijag06 Posts: 70
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    I have lost 28 lbs. Eating healthy and exercising. I see muscles now! But my family and coworkers are saying I look sickly and frail! What? Are you nuts? I am feeling strong and confident!!!

    Oh, and yes egwene. I love the low cal menu items! Now that's a treat to eat good when I go out too!!!!
  • Mareebzz
    Mareebzz Posts: 45 Member
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    Snide comments are generated from those who by looking at you, realize that they need to change.
    It is a self defense mechanism that allows them to feel good about themselves when they are around people who are making changes (in this case, you!).

    Ignore them, they are projecting their own lack of confidence in themselves on you.
    Surround yourself with positive people and let these others fall to the way side.

    This really hit home for me. Thank you for posting this because I didn't look at it that way.

    Lots of backhanded compliments coming my way these days, so OP I do get where you're coming from! I just tell myself that they mean well, they're just kind of dense. LOL Keep smiling! You know you look awesome so work it! :wink:
  • audmixer
    audmixer Posts: 4 Member
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    It's hard not to be sensitive to what you deem are snide comments. My entire life I'd always heard, "you're too heavy", "it's not healthy to be fat", "you should get in shape". I took control of my food intake/exercise 3 yrs ago & in that time lost 100 lbs the healthy way, no diets/surgery or weight loss gimmicks. I'm 5'9" & weighed 250lbs when I started. I'm now 150lbs, which is right in the middle of the weight range for my height/build. I've never felt better & I'm proud of myself. Guess what I hear now, "you look good, but don't lose anymore", "oh come on, you can have a burger & fries", "you're making me look bad, you're taking the stairs". At first I took the comments personally, now I just think to myself, I'm winning & how I feel is all that matters. :smile:
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
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    I slap them.
  • PRMinx
    PRMinx Posts: 4,585 Member
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    It always surprises me how hard people work to be offended...
  • CipherZero
    CipherZero Posts: 1,418 Member
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    joeporta wrote: »
    You can choose your 'friends' - unfortunately you can't choose your family! :(

    But you can choose to have nothing to do with them.
  • lsgibbs83
    lsgibbs83 Posts: 254 Member
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    I am working with my physician and the Health and Wellness Nurse at work on my weight loss plan. I have a co-worker who wants to question and challenge everything I eat and do. She always seems to think she has a better way to do things, even though she is obese and is not attempting to make a change. I finally told her "Thanks. I will let my doctor know your expert opinion".
  • Wronkletoad
    Wronkletoad Posts: 368 Member
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    PRMinx wrote: »
    It always surprises me how hard people work to be offended...

    +1 excellent observation!
  • Elise4270
    Elise4270 Posts: 8,375 Member
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    Haters gonna hate. It won't matter if your skinny or fat, people have problems and its easier or maybe human nature to point to someone than to have a good look at ourselves.

    All you can do is find support, here, gym, friends and like water off a ducks back, let I the comments roll right off.

    I know its hard. I love Reach4Raw on you tube. She always picks me up. She's come along way.

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