Five Years and 100lbs to Authentic Living

Not sure how this is going to be received in the general forum, but I wanted to share my story in case anyone is struggling with a similar battle.

It's not easy to share something so personal, but I credit so much of the progress I have made to the MFP community and the support always so generously offered, so this is my way of saying, I couldn't have done it without you.

In 2009, I weighed over 250lbs. I was completely miserable. Fully aware I was a transgender man (born female-bodied, but 100% male-brained) I kept it hidden in any way possible, sharing what I thought at the time to be a horrible secret with virtually no one.

In 2010 I slowly began losing weight in hopes to better myself. I knew overeating had become my way to cope. I was very large and it was disheartening to not even be in a position to attempt looking like the person I knew I was. I quite literally hid myself behind a female aesthetic, hoping no one would ever figure out I was male.

I joined MFP in 2011 and eventually realized losing weight was my first step towards medical transition. If I was going to do it, I had to lose almost 100lbs. I was strict with myself. Working out and monitoring my eating like a madman for a solid year until I was down to 165lbs in 2012.

On New Years Day of 2013 I made a decision. At my lowest weight, but my highest anxiety of my adult life I was ready to come out. Not knowing if I would lose my friends and family, I still knew it was now or never- it was time. I removed the mask.

From that moment on it has been one hell of a ride. It's not always easy, but I haven't lost any friends or family members. Apparently, everyone sort of already knew regardless of my attempt to disguise myself. I am recognized as male by everyone in my life including strangers, which is extremely validating.

I am finally myself. I am living authentically. I am happy.

However, with some medical parts of transition came the already anticipated weight gain. I weighed-in around 180lbs at the end of 2014. The good news is, I'm back and ready to get in better shape. This time with a focus on building-muscle.

If you're struggling and know weight loss is your first step to gender transition or any form of life transformation, like it was with me, you can do it. I'm glad you've found MFP. It changed my life and I hope you find it as useful as I have.

If I can turn my entire life around, and I mean this from the bottom of my heart, then you can.

The journey is not always easy to become yourself, but it's worth every second. Keep fighting.

With appreciation and support,
Brandon