I'm not a "Big Guy," I am a Morbidly Obese man!

"I am not a 'Big Guy,' I am a morbidly obese man."
This quote that I saw on The Biggest Loser has in great part been the motivating factor in changing my life since February. I had been under the impression for the majority of my adult life that I was just a "Big Guy." I hated the phrase 'obese,' and especially hated 'morbidly obese.' So I lived in denial and fear of those small words for the last 14 years. But when I heard it on that day, I could no longer be in denial of what I was. I was a 32 year old man, with high blood pressure, borderline diabetic who would get winded walking up the stairs and weighed 405 pounds (or at least that's what I thought).
How much have I missed because I couldn't physically do something or fit in/on? How much will I miss? Will I see my kids grow up? Will I die? These questions ran through my mind in a way that was different than all the other times that I forced myself to think about it. This time I thought about them from the viewpoint of that 'morbidly obese' man. After all, a 'big guy" doesn't have to worry about those things.
I knew that there was no magic pill or easy solution that would lose the weight for me. After all, I searched for those things already and came up empty. This was going to take something that I had always heard people talk about, but never tried... HARD WORK! It was time to come up with a plan.
So, on February 10th, my hard work started. I started off the day by weighing myself. I weighed 421 pounds. That fact by itself made me upset and depressed. As I said earlier, I thought that I was 405. How did I let this happen? But, it is what it is, so lets not stumble on Day 1.
I had made up my mind to completely overhaul my diet and add exercise to my life. I consulted a friend of mine who owns a Crossfit gym and he helped guide me through what would work best. This meant giving up on sleeping late in the morning because I would have to go to the gym before work. This meant following a strict diet (Zone) and this even meant going gluten free. I would love to tell you that this path was easy, but that's not what hard work is all about.
I went to the gym 4-5 times per week. At first, I couldn't walk at a fast pace on the treadmill for more that 10-12 minutes. I shed sweat, tears and occasionally blood. But I stayed the course. I would listen to motivational speeches while walking/lightly jogging for as long as my body would allow. I listened to Muhammad Ali talk about how "Great I Am." I listened to the locker room speech from Any Given Sunday about fighting for every inch. I heard the kid from Coach Carter say "Our biggest fear is not that we are inadequate, our biggest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure." These things are what pushed my to go further. When my body felt like it was going to give up, I would hit repeat and keep going. I fell, I bled and I felt like giving up at times. After all, your mind will give up before your body ever will. So I kept going. When I was finally able to run a mile without stopping, I cried. When I was able to run 3 miles without stopping, I cried harder. These are things that I was NEVER able to do!
I would love to say it was all sunshine and rainbows everyday, but that's not how life is. Some days I woke up tired and in pain. There were weeks that I didn't get the results that I had worked so hard to achieve. It was always important on those days to remember what I had around me, the people, the successes. I had an amazing wife who supported me, even though she just gave birth to our youngest son and was way more tired than me. I had friends and family that supported me and constantly gave me encouragement at the exact moments that I needed it. So I got up anyway and continued to work hard.
Its now been 10 months... The blood sweat, tears and hard work have brought me to this new chapter in my life. I currently weigh 280 lbs, which is an overall loss of 140 lbs. I no longer wear 3X/4X shirts, but XL. I no longer wear a size 54 pant, but a 42. What is most amazing to me is that I am currently the same size that I was in 8th grade, which was almost 20 years ago.
Even with all the positive progress, I still struggle. It is still an adjustment. I still struggle with what I "think" i look like. I still struggle at times with food. At times I think if I eat something wrong, I will wake up tomorrow and weigh 420 lbs again. Everyday still requires hard work, but it is work that I am still prepared to do.
More than all of the numerical success are the successes that cant be measured with a number. In April of this past year, I ran my very first 5K, On Thanksgiving, I was able to fulfill a promise to my brother to finally run the Manchester Road Race with him. I officially start training for the Cheshire Half Marathon in February with few other races sprinkled in throughout the year. However, the most important and powerful success is all the things I was missing with my family, I can finally do. I can run with my sons through the yard for as long as they can. I can go with them on rides at Six Flags. I will be able to see them grow up which is a feeling that will never be able to be measured.
So to all who helped me, who inspired me, who guided me, who encouraged me, I say Thank You!