Friends frustrating me

That describes my family! If I know I'm going to visit some of the ones who love putting food in front of me, I'll usually just have a small snack before-hand, so that I can honestly say I'm not hungry.

Does she know that you are on MFP? If so then she should understand how you have to keep track of the calories you eat, but if I were you I would just say " I really appreciate you wanting to cook for me, even healthy food but because I am on MFP I have to know exactly what goes into the meal and how much of everything. Now if she still thinks you are rude then she has a problem. Good luck!

I have had to deal with this as well. What I try to do is either get them to come to my place, and therefore I control the food, or else I will offer to bring stuff to their place so they can lay back and relax. This way, I know exactly what I'm eating, plus I know I'm getting my friends to eat healthy too.

Also she is offering to make you healthy food. Honestly you're complaining over something trivial.

I am in total agreement of how people "think" they know what is healthy. One suggestion, offer to make a healthy dish for everyone. Share your weight loss sucess with others by "enlisting the" to enjoy the good healthy foods you are eating.

I know you shouldn't, but you could just lie - say you think you have an intolerance so you can only eat whay you have prepared yourself.

OR, just tell her what you've said here - that you appreciate she is trying to be a good host, but as a good friend she should listen when you say no, and respect what you've said.

Good luck!

x

Other then just being honest and talking with her, you could try suggesting a recipe. Teach her how to cook one of your favorites. That way she can feed you and learn more about why you eat certain things.

Also, if they are a real friend, they will support you and understand.

My MIL was like that, God rest her soul (Oops is that a religious reference), she would always try to force seconds, thirds, forth’s on you. The only thing I could do was politely say, no thanks I’ve had enough, and after three or four times she would get the hint and stop asking. But never it connected with her, and each time we were over at their house the same thing would happen. Now my wife does the same thing with everyone, and well, I am a bit more blunt with her.

Your situation is a bit different, I would just tell your friend outright, “I really appreciate the thought and the work you put into cooking but, I’m on a diet that requires me to watch everything I eat, and what you may consider “healthy” really isn’t, for my diet. So if you don’t mind I will just bring my own food, or if I’m not hungry I won’t eat anything at all this time”. If they continue, I would get a bit more blunt and tell her that it is frustrating that she continues to offer you food, when she knows you can’t / don’t want to eat it. That it makes you uncomfortable to always have to tell her no, because you are afraid of hurting her feelings, but this diet is important to you and you would really appreciate her help.

Just apologize and say that you are on a strict diet in which you need to prepare your food at home. Unfortunately your "book" that says what's in all the foods is at home. That you have to choose specific ingredients when you cook to stick with the diet. That gets you sort of out of what she has prepared.

My husband doesn't eat red meat or pork products... my mom's reaction at the dinner table?
"What's wrong with him? What if I make him bacon?" Mom, that's a pork product. "How about i cut it up really fine?" Mom, it's still in there. Just leave it alone. "But I feel like he's starving." there are other foods in the world mom. "Is it the way I cook?" NO MOM, he has his reasons.

Lol

I know a lot of people here have probably encountered it so I will ask. What is the politest (not sure thats a word...oh well it is now) way to tell a friend to stop pushing food on you? I have a friend that wants to fricking feed me everytime I come over, and she'll offer to do healthy stuff but I really rather not bother her with that because I will have to make sure I know exactly whats in what she makes and from experience I know that most people think stuff is healthy that really isn't that great for you. I'll say no thanks or I'll bring my own and she says "well what about this or this" until I say " I don't want anything at all or I am bringing my own and I don't want any other food" and that feels like I am being rude because I am ususally frustrated at that point. Not taking no for an answer is one of my bigger pet peeves. Any suggestions for a polite and straight forward response? Being committed is hard enough.

Is it just with food or is she a pushy person in general?

I'm sorry, but I embarrassingly impatient with people that have to get their way. They generally do like me after a while.

Also she is offering to make you healthy food. Honestly you're complaining over something trivial.

I agree. I think the health of the relationship is more important than one meal. If you brought something and ate some of what you brought and some of what she made I dint think it's going to ruin your diet. Plus, this is supposed to be a lifestyle change. Are you going to go your whole life turning down meals and potentially hurting the feeling the feelings of people you care about. It's all about portion control. I'm not saying to eat a doughnut if someone offers it to you, but it sounds like your friend is trying and you're brushing her off as though she's dumb and couldn't possibly know what truly healthy food is.

Ladies I asked for polite ways to say no, there are other factors you guys don't know about that influenced my question but I wanted to keep it short. So please if you are going to post something stick with answering the question that the person is asking or don't post at all.

One of the great things about a community is that you get lots of different perspectives. Sometimes someone may help you see something in a way you haven't before and solve a problem in a way you hadn't thought to ask for. Sometimes that different perspective doesn't apply to your situation for whatever reason. No one was criticizing you or judging you. No need to feel defensive. If a suggestion doesn't work for you, you're welcome to ignore it.

Your friend sounds like someone who shows her love for people by trying to take care of them so when you don't want her to take care for you by feeding you, she feels rejected, like you don't want her love. I know because I'm one of those people. My SIL is vegan and it really stresses me out when I can't figure out what to make for her so she'll feel welcome in my home. Finally I asked her for some recipes I could use when she came over. She gave me some and I make those, we're both happy now.

Maybe your friend would like it if you shared some of your recipes with her. Or you could explain that you love her dearly and so appreciate that she wants to be accommodating to your new way of eating, but that you're keeping really specific track of exactly what you eat so you really prefer to make all your food yourself, but you'd be happy to bring enough to share.