People are strange

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jeremyrby
jeremyrby Posts: 21
in Chit-Chat
Why is it you bust your booty to loose weight, you start looking better, and all the sudden people kinda treat yah diffrent. They assume your cocky now and think your better? Are they jealous? Or is it just envy? I'm the same I was before just lost an entire person. I'm proud of me now not cocky.
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  • RippItUp
    RippItUp Posts: 161
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    People are strange
    When your a stranger
    Faces look ugly
    When your alone
  • jaymvita
    jaymvita Posts: 5,787 Member
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    @jeremyrby‌ It's definitely a bit of envy and some resentment that we put in the work that they know they won't. And they are pissed at themselves for it. Not outwardly but they know that while they may WANT to get the results we did, they are afraid that they will quit and "fail". We got to where we are because we woke up early, passed on the pizza, drank our water and put in the WORK. Not everyone ill wants to do that though everyone CAN. So your real friends will be proud of you and cheer on your success. They'll say that you inspired them and made them think about that second helping or look at a workout video. Those friends who aren't quite all that real will make up an excuse for your success and their lack of it.

    What can we do about it? Nothing because it's not our problem. We didn't change except for the size of our waistline. What they call cocky we call pride. And that's ok.
  • jeremyrby
    jeremyrby Posts: 21
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    Well said sir, very well put. I rather enjoy not searching through the racks for a 3xl shirt now. Much easier to find a large
  • jaymvita
    jaymvita Posts: 5,787 Member
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    Absolutely! And frankly, during the summer months, if I can walk around without a shirt, you better believe I will! Because I earned that.

    It doesn't mean I'm shaming anyone else. On the contrary, if I can inspire just one other person to get off the couch, I'll work out WITH that person because they clearly WANT it the same way I did.

    I want EVERYONE around me to feel what I felt when I went through my transformation. But that means they need to put in the time and the effort.

    My real friends will poke fun of course but when the jabs are about how my abs are shining too much light in their eyes ... I'll take it! ;)
  • stephanieluvspb
    stephanieluvspb Posts: 997 Member
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    The best way to see who your true friends are is lose weight or lose a loved one. If they are there for you through either with no judgement just encouragement then they are a true friend. Everybody else, f' em ;)
  • anadoesit
    anadoesit Posts: 442 Member
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    It's weird. I notice with me, there is a threshold in my fitness and clothing size---when I reach it, I get more attention from men and more jealousy from women?

    I'm only too happy for anyone who has the strength and mental determination to get fit and chase health. I dunno, some people are just STRANGE!
  • northlandmum
    northlandmum Posts: 91 Member
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    I would say it is mainly jealously. Recently a work colleague has lost a lot of weight, and a group of women were saying she's lost too much and looks too skinny? Um, no, she's gone from being overweight to normal weight and you're just not used to it because she was overweight for so long. Now you get hassled for wanting to be a normal weight. People tell me I don't need to lose weight...but even a few pounds overweight can make a difference in how you feel / clothes fit etc.
  • anadoesit
    anadoesit Posts: 442 Member
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    stephanieluvspb wrote: »
    The best way to see who your true friends are is lose weight or lose a loved one. If they are there for you through either with no judgement just encouragement then they are a true friend. Everybody else, f' em ;)

    Well said!

  • AllOutof_Bubblegum
    AllOutof_Bubblegum Posts: 3,646 Member
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    It's a psychological defense mechanism. Humans instinctively compare themselves to others constantly. 99% of the time it's completely involuntary and subconscious. But when they see a someone close to them start changing, it widens the gap in the difference themselves and the difference in the person who is changing. And that's threatening, because by nature, humans try to conform, to a certain extent. In this "herd mentality", if one member is changing, the rest will feel pressured to make changes too, even if they may not be ready to or not want to. The result is resenting the changed person for making them feel that they also need to change, or else feel inadequate by comparison. *drops mic*
  • jpaulie
    jpaulie Posts: 917 Member
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    sorry folks i turned cocky and ruined it for the rest of you :(
  • PurringMyrrh
    PurringMyrrh Posts: 5,276 Member
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    RippItUp wrote: »
    People are strange
    When your a stranger
    Faces look ugly
    When your alone

    Right where I was headed with this. :laugh:
  • zenaxe
    zenaxe Posts: 203 Member
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    Good post and a solid theory there Alloutofbubblegum....and greets from Phx
  • SomeNights246
    SomeNights246 Posts: 807 Member
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    Combination of things, I think.

    I think a lot of it is based on stereotypes. There's this stereotype that overweight people are always insecure, and have few friends. There's, also, the stereotype that they're often friendly as a result. When I was overweight, a lot of times, people assumed my sarcastic remarks were me being friendly (when really I was just being a butt), and they'd laugh about them.

    On the flip side, there's this persistent stereotype... that results from the negative stereotypes surrounding overweight people... that thin people are confident, and stuck up. I'm the same butt I was before I lost weight, but now - by golly - people realize when I'm being sarcastic. They, also, realize that I don't have many friends, and don't like speaking to strangers. Where they thought I was just shy and insecure when I was overweight, they now assume me to be just overly confident and stuck up. For the same exact traits!

    I do think jealousy plays a role in some people. But everyone else has already gotten into that. I don't think that's always the case, though. As not everyone who treats me differently seems jealous of me.
  • als13071
    als13071 Posts: 33 Member
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    Since i started losing weight people say its me.. to clarify im not saying its you! Lol. But they said i put my head too far in my health and dont make tine for people. I guess alot of it is me... i try to focus on being aroubd healthy people rather than those who dont do the same things i do. Its easier to hang out with the girl who goes to the gym every day because i go to the gym too and ect...

    Becoming healthier is a life change... and for me i see that affects my friends too...
  • jeremyrby
    jeremyrby Posts: 21
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    All very good points, I just figured it was only me but it seems you've all experienced this. Maybe a should buy a gold thong to wear to the beach this year to give them a reason to talk
  • salembambi
    salembambi Posts: 5,585 Member
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    i lost 160 pounds and people are just more shocked when they see me i dont think they are envious ...i hope they are glad for me and my accomplishments

    but i do think my new confidence bothers some people i could care less let the basics simmer
  • jaymvita
    jaymvita Posts: 5,787 Member
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    jeremyrby wrote: »
    All very good points, I just figured it was only me but it seems you've all experienced this. Maybe a should buy a gold thong to wear to the beach this year to give them a reason to talk

    Did anyone see the eye bleach? ;)
  • als13071
    als13071 Posts: 33 Member
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    jeremyrby wrote: »
    All very good points, I just figured it was only me but it seems you've all experienced this. Maybe a should buy a gold thong to wear to the beach this year to give them a reason to talk

    Hahahha i feel like this kind of confidence may really make them think your cocky... judgements would really be rolling!
  • jeremyrby
    jeremyrby Posts: 21
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    Don't worry I'll get a large chain and wear socks with my sandals just to add to the appeal

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