Keep Trying, Keep Failing

I can understand your frustration. I need accountability so I had to get a personal trainer. I needed someone to call me out on things when I was sort of calling in a work out. She created a plan for me and told me to join MFP and log everything. I was shocked how many calories I was eating. I went for working out 3 times per week to now every day. I did that gradually through her help.

A personal trainer is not for everyone but I needed it.

Good luck!

Baby steps. Start tracking what you eat for a week or so. Then look over your diary and see where you can make changes. You don't need special food just eat what you normally eat. As for exercise, walking is good and it is good for mental health. I know it lightens my mood. Good luck and best wishes!! You can do this

queenliz99 wrote: »

Baby steps. Start tracking what you eat for a week or so. Then look over your diary and see where you can make changes. You don't need special food just eat what you normally eat. As for exercise, walking is good and it is good for mental health. I know it lightens my mood. Good luck and best wishes!! You can do this

Exactly this. If you aren't losing weight, and don't have underlying medical issues, then you're eating more calories than you're burning. It's really as simple as that. Track absolutely everything you eat and drink. Gum, vitamins, the Hershey's kiss from a co-worker's candy dish, every single thing. Most people who really start tracking are shocked how many calories they are actually eating every day.

Once you figure out what you're really consuming you can figure out how to make small changes to lower your calories to stay under the calorie goal MFP sets for you. You don't need to buy special foods, just eat less of the foods you already eat. Keep in mind, though, while you can certainly lose weight eating nothing but french fries. Twinkies and chocolate you'll be really unhappy doing it. Vegetables give you more nutrients for far fewer calories. Lean protein (chicken, fish, etc.) will help to keep hunger at bay longer. Most of us find that eating better helps us to feel better.

Add more movement into your day. You don't need to buy a gym membership or special equipment. Park at the back of the parking lot. Take the stairs instead of the elevator. Walk during your breaks at work. Those were the things that I started doing a few years ago when I realized I was barely moving during the day because I went from my car to my desk to my car to my sofa. Walking lead to running a little which lead to half marathon races which lead to weight lifting and running. I'm in better shape at 48 than I was at 28 and I was in decent shape back then.

Most importantly, make changes that you can stick with for the rest of your life. This isn't a sprint, it's a lifelong marathon. Don't expect or try to lose weight really quickly. Slow and steady definitely wins the race. If you don't like an activity, don't do it. If you can't take another day eating carrot sticks and cottage cheese, don't eat them.

The first step for me was accepting that this was going to be a life long war...I don't remember when it started, and it won't end til I die. With that freedom to not look for a finish line, I just started taking life day by day. I started out really small (with big results)...give up any kind of soda you are drinking and replace it with water (you mentioned your skin being awful which I bet means you aren't drinking enough straight up water...or even water with a splash of fruit juice is okay). Then work on what you are eating. Try replacing some of the bad foods with good foods. Put quinoa in the place of rice. A grilled chicken breast in the place of fried chicken, etc, etc. Don't make it difficult with some fancy diet program that guarantees rapid results. Baby steps! Then try adding in a walk here and there.

I did eventually have weight loss surgery but had already lost a lot of weight on my own. Find what works for you....not what works for someone else. Everyone is different, and you just have to keep trying different things until something clicks for you. Good luck!

How did you lose the weight the first time? What worked and what didn't? Use that as a tool to build off of and make adjustments. Yes, the info here is very valuable, but you have to get you mind on board first. You have to want the result enough to make the changes needed to obtain it.

Start with tracking everything you eat accurately. See how many calories you are eating compared to how many you should be eating. Then start making changes. You can do this! You're too young to be dealing with poor health due to weight issues. Be determined!

As a few above have said, track what you eat, and track how much you exercise. Results often don't come quickly, so don't expect the loss to be fast or consistent. Based on my experience I can tell you that weight loss involves the following:

1) Figuring out what you need to change. (How many calories per day/how much exercise per day/). I think the trickiest number to come up with for me was finding out when to eat more because of exercise.
2) Sitting on your butt won't make it smaller. You do need to exercise. Experiment! Find something you like, find something that you will keep doing. Find something you can get mentally addicted to.
3) Face it. Veggies are involved. You don't have to like them, but you do have to eat them. Some of them you can learn to like, too. If you don't already know how to cook, learning, and then experimenting with new recipes can help you here too. Veggies will help you on those days where you're really hungry. They mainly help by providing a low calorie way to get more food in your belly. Friends laugh at me, but going to Subway and building a salad on top of the sub isn't a bad way to work yourself into the veggie habit...

Don't give up so quickly. Sometimes it takes a good 3-4 weeks to establish a routine for yourself. The more consistent you can be, the better your results.

I also see that you go to school/work Full time. You're going to have to FIND time to put thought into what you eat. So you might have to do some homework. Research and make a list of healthy foods at local fast food restaurants/vending machines/ or any place that you frequently 'fly by' to get food. Then stick to that list. You may end up eating the same things all the time, but you'll be in control. My advice to you is to take about 20-30 minutes each day and make a rough list of what you're going to eat. (Heck, even enter it in MFP the night before). Once you've identified what you think you can eat based on your schedule, its not a big leap to make substitutes during the day.

Hope all this helps!

Yes tuition can be very expensive. I work at a university. I know each one of the universities I have worked had a fitness center with classes for students and some even nutritionist for students.

If you commute to school try parking across campus so you can get a walk in a few times per day. I am the person that even on a rainy day I will take the last parking space in the parking lot to just get a few extra minutes of movement before my desk job.

Good luck with everything!

My heart broke when you described your attempts at weight loss "failures". Life is too beautiful and you are too young to feel so broken down, when obviously in other areas of your life you are accomplished, smart.

This is what the doctor who runs my Weight Wise program has to say about the struggle to lose and to maintain the loss.

http://www.drsharma.ca/running-down-the-up-escalator.html

Some friends have found his message discouraging, but it was a revelation for me. What you are attempting to do is very, very hard.

But it can be done.

The great bulk of my weight loss was done by making small changes and incorporating them as new habits. My idea of what a "portion" is has drastically reduced. Pre-planning can help. You might bulk cook on the weekend and package up your portions ahead of time.

SueInAz wrote: »

queenliz99 wrote: »

Baby steps. Start tracking what you eat for a week or so. Then look over your diary and see where you can make changes. You don't need special food just eat what you normally eat. As for exercise, walking is good and it is good for mental health. I know it lightens my mood. Good luck and best wishes!! You can do this

Exactly this. If you aren't losing weight, and don't have underlying medical issues, then you're eating more calories than you're burning. It's really as simple as that. Track absolutely everything you eat and drink. Gum, vitamins, the Hershey's kiss from a co-worker's candy dish, every single thing. Most people who really start tracking are shocked how many calories they are actually eating every day.

Once you figure out what you're really consuming you can figure out how to make small changes to lower your calories to stay under the calorie goal MFP sets for you. You don't need to buy special foods, just eat less of the foods you already eat. Keep in mind, though, while you can certainly lose weight eating nothing but french fries. Twinkies and chocolate you'll be really unhappy doing it. Vegetables give you more nutrients for far fewer calories. Lean protein (chicken, fish, etc.) will help to keep hunger at bay longer. Most of us find that eating better helps us to feel better.

Add more movement into your day. You don't need to buy a gym membership or special equipment. Park at the back of the parking lot. Take the stairs instead of the elevator. Walk during your breaks at work. Those were the things that I started doing a few years ago when I realized I was barely moving during the day because I went from my car to my desk to my car to my sofa. Walking lead to running a little which lead to half marathon races which lead to weight lifting and running. I'm in better shape at 48 than I was at 28 and I was in decent shape back then.

Most importantly, make changes that you can stick with for the rest of your life. This isn't a sprint, it's a lifelong marathon. Don't expect or try to lose weight really quickly. Slow and steady definitely wins the race. If you don't like an activity, don't do it. If you can't take another day eating carrot sticks and cottage cheese, don't eat them.

Absolutely everything Sue said. AND, patience. I rarely lose my patience with people but with myself and losing weight, well, it's a struggle. If I plateau, even for a week (ok, really 2 weeks), then I begin to slide. When I'm as kind to myself as I am to other people, I find I'm more successful. For me it's the obvious (eat enough to maintain good bodily functions but less than would be required to maintain my current weight and moving) BUT it's also patience. This is not the biggest loser. It's not all going to come off in 6 months - ESPECIALLY if you have work and school full time.

I have to mainly agree with the above posters that 1 - it's REALLY hard. and 2 - my idea of what a "normal" portion is has DRASTICALLY reduced.

It has taken me a full year to learn what an actual portion is. It's like, 6 almonds. It's half of a small salad at a restaurant. I'm not even exaggerating, this type of drastic portion control is the only thing that has helped me be successful over time.

And by successful, I mean losing 10 lbs last year. Sometimes it's not all about the # of lbs, it's about what you've learned and begun to implement over time (YEARS) that is getting you to where you need to be.

skinnyD2308 wrote: »

I remember feeling sick of starting/stopping my weight loss efforts. What really helped me was to commit to tracking everything I eat for 1 whole year, special occassions, vacations, holidays, everything, the good, the bad, the ugly. So many people say that it takes 21 days to form a habit, but I think to truly ingrain a new habit takes more time.

Here's how I approach things, it may not work for you, but it's what worked for me when I was feeling unsure of myself. First I decided to track everything for a year, but I wasn't willing to go hungry. I put MFP settings to maintainance and gave myself permission to eat right up to my maintenance calories with the goal of trying to eat under my maintenance calories more than I eat over them.

Each month, I tally it all up. In my first month I ate under maintaince only 17 days in the month, but I tracked everything, moved a bit more, and lost 11 pounds. Since then my best month was November where I ate under maintance limit 23 days. Since the first month, I've lost on average 4 pounds per month and I have tracked for 226 days (6.5 months). When I started this, I wasn't sure it would work for losing weight, but I figured I would at least stop gaining weight. I've been pleasantly surprised with my progress!

I've lost 31 pounds in 2014, and I kept it all off over Christmas (and December was tough, only stayed under calories 16 days and only lost 2 pounds), but it was better than previous years.

My advice would be focus on the habit of tracking your calorie intake, and seek small improvements over time, it's a marathon not a sprint. After each week of tracking, review your intake, not to judge yourself or give yourself a guilt trip, but to honestly ask yourself: "what were my wins for the week?" and "what can I do next week to improve?"

You just might surprise yourself. I know I have surprised myself.

This is amazing! What a novel approach. You have every right to be proud of yourself.

OP, I completely get where you're coming from on the time front. I work full time (9 hours per day with every other Friday off) and go to school part time (one 3 unit class every 9 weeks, year round) and it's tough. I have had to really make time to exercise a priority in my life. This time of year my weekdays are basically split into three parts:

1. 6:30am-3:30pm - Work
2. 3:30pm - 5:30pm - Exercise
3. 5:30pm-10:00pm - Schoolwork and family time

If I think of it this way, I have a set time each day to either run or lift weights and I don't skip it. I either run as soon as I get home from work and let out the dogs or I lift weights in the company gym for an hour then head home. I mention all of this because it might help you to set up a schedule like this that will work for you. Yours might be more difficult if you go to classes at different times each day (I go online so I have no set school hours) but you can probably come up with a set schedule for each day that works.

All of that said, exercise isn't a requirement for weight loss. It's definitely good for you, and as I mentioned earlier strength training is awesome, but it's not necessary. Your diet is far more important.

You might take a little time each weekend to plan out your lunch and dinner meals for the week. Lunch is always easy for me because it's just me and I can eat the same things over and over again if I want. Breakfast is almost always either an Atkins meal bar (low sugar, high protein) or 227 grams (1 cup) of plain, non-fat Greek yogurt with a handful of berries and some sweetener that I make myself. I have a soft lunch tote with a freezer pack to carry my lunch to work. Dinner is something the family will eat and I just make sure I eat a portion which matches my calorie goal for the day. I either use the crock pot or make something quick after I shower from my workout. If you're single, either keep some frozen meals at home, scope out fast food meals that fit your goals, or bring a dinner with you to school the same way you'd bring lunch to work. I always keep a protein bar in my purse for those times I just can't get a nutritious meal and don't want to resort to fast food.

Time management is going to be very important to you, especially as you go on to do your Masters, if that's what you decide. Developing good time management skills is crucial to success in life whether it's for business purposes or a successful weight loss.

Before I was motivated to commit to anything major, like counting calories, I started off with small adjustments. I started eating off a smaller(child's size)plate so I wouldn't have to count calories. Then I would walk up the stairs at work instead of riding the elevator. I cut out cokes and increased my water intake. Eventually, I did start counting calories and walking a mile. I have done this over and over with different diet techniques. But, I have found that planning ahead so that I have time to add in calories to MFP and starting a daily excercise plan have been the only way to really reap the benefits. I had to look at it as a lifestyle change and not a diet. I lost a lot of weight two years when I stayed dedicated. At this point, just realizing that my life depends on it, is enough for me to be involved and active with my daily intake of food and excercise. You can add me for motivations or help. But, I am just 15 days into this for the 3rd time. Encouragement helps alot thought