Loving my body in clothes but still hating it naked

theflyingpelican
theflyingpelican Posts: 42 Member
edited November 10 in Motivation and Support
Just reaching out for support and hopefully a few "I know how you feels" about this recent body image/self-hate spiral I've gotten caught up in:

Although I am at a healthy weight (after losing 30 lbs in the past 2 years) and am generally very happy with how I look and fit into clothing, I'm still having a huge amount of trouble not hating my naked body--specifically my butt, "saddlebags," and the backs of my thighs. I recently saw a video of myself walking in bathing suit from behind, and I was horrified to see how saggy, jiggly, and dimply everything still looked back there even though a huge amount of my exercise regimen is strength training (aerial arts and calisthenics) and I KNOW I have muscle tone under there. I can squat 215 lbs, I can visibly see my glute muscles pop when I flex, etc.

As for body fat, I have very little left anywhere except this area, so I'm guessing that only a drastic calorie deficit and/or a major increase in exercise is going to be able to get my over that hurdle, and I'm honestly just not sure that that's something I'm willing to do anymore since I know I am appropriately fit and active with what I'm currently doing/eating. I would rather just accept this about myself and enjoy the healthy changes I've made, but the perfectionist, goal-oriented minion in my head keeps saying "But, but, but.....you could still do BETTER." And that's a dangerous game for those of us prone to self-hate talk and disordered eating.


All advice, commiseration, and good vibes welcome. Thanks for listening MFP =)

Replies

  • Rogiefreida
    Rogiefreida Posts: 567 Member
    For the record, I think your pictures on your profile look great! You seem like you know a thing or 2 about fitness/weight loss, so I'm sure you don't need to be told that you can't spot reduce, blah blah. Getting rid of the last little bit of body fat from wherever it is (for me, my tummy. For you, your thighs and butt) might be more effort than you're willing to go through. And you know what, unless you're a fitness model or in a career that requires you to have exceptionally low body fat, that's ok. I know that the very last place it's going to leave my body is my tummy and some days I am totally at peace with that and others I want to do whatever it takes to get a six pack. So I get it. :)

    For myself, I've had tremendous success re-shaping my body through heavy weight training and following IIFYM. It's not for everyone, but for me my issues really weren't that I was fat, but I lacked muscle and didn't like my stomach or my pancake butt so I went on a lean bulk for 7 months. Now I have a nicer butt and a somewhat flatter stomach (not ripped like I'd like, but an improvement nonetheless).
  • deviboy1592
    deviboy1592 Posts: 989 Member
    Looking good in my opinion.
  • salembambi
    salembambi Posts: 5,585 Member
    i have loose sagging skin............seeing myself naked makes me want to cry

    so i can relate and also your body looks really great you should be proud
  • MaggieLoo79
    MaggieLoo79 Posts: 288 Member
    Even when I was in great shape, there was always something that I didn't like about my body. You fixate on the things you don't like because you know they are there. Your eyes are just drawn to the "flaws." Other people probably don't even notice it. You look fantastic!
  • Adc7225
    Adc7225 Posts: 1,318 Member
    I know how you feel. That area on the back of the thighs is also my last spot where my fat is stored. I was in a rush one day and did some push-ups in the buff . . . OMG! looking down and my loose skin was horrifying! Generally I try and tell myself that I don't look that bad and will walk around the house in buff at times but I don't think I have the confidence I had when I was heavier or at least sagging skin-less! I hope in time it will get better not only my body but my perception of it. I also realize that we pick on the things that we don't like, and fail to praise those areas that we have worked so hard to improve :\
  • theflyingpelican
    theflyingpelican Posts: 42 Member
    Rogiefreida wrote: »
    For the record, I think your pictures on your profile look great! You seem like you know a thing or 2 about fitness/weight loss, so I'm sure you don't need to be told that you can't spot reduce, blah blah. Getting rid of the last little bit of body fat from wherever it is (for me, my tummy. For you, your thighs and butt) might be more effort than you're willing to go through. And you know what, unless you're a fitness model or in a career that requires you to have exceptionally low body fat, that's ok. I know that the very last place it's going to leave my body is my tummy and some days I am totally at peace with that and others I want to do whatever it takes to get a six pack. So I get it. :)

    For myself, I've had tremendous success re-shaping my body through heavy weight training and following IIFYM. It's not for everyone, but for me my issues really weren't that I was fat, but I lacked muscle and didn't like my stomach or my pancake butt so I went on a lean bulk for 7 months. Now I have a nicer butt and a somewhat flatter stomach (not ripped like I'd like, but an improvement nonetheless).

    I lifted heavy consistently this summer when I was off of school (I'm a special ed teacher) but let it go to the wayside this fall because I only have so much exercise time and aerial is more important to me. But with our new childcare schedule I can swing by the gym on my way home and knock out some sets, so I'm ready to get back on the train. =) I definitely love the satisfaction of lifting! It's awesome that you've had such good results.
  • theflyingpelican
    theflyingpelican Posts: 42 Member
    Adc7225 wrote: »
    I know how you feel. That area on the back of the thighs is also my last spot where my fat is stored. I was in a rush one day and did some push-ups in the buff . . . OMG! looking down and my loose skin was horrifying! Generally I try and tell myself that I don't look that bad and will walk around the house in buff at times but I don't think I have the confidence I had when I was heavier or at least sagging skin-less! I hope in time it will get better not only my body but my perception of it. I also realize that we pick on the things that we don't like, and fail to praise those areas that we have worked so hard to improve :\

    So true...I have a little loose belly skin from my pregnancy that is noticeable if I'm doing planks or push-ups or bending over, but oddly it doesn't bother me at all. I think it's because I know there's really and truly nothing I can do about it, so I've just kind of said "Ok whatever then." But the backside still bothers me because I feel like I COULD improve it if I worked hard enough. But at the end of the day exercising and eating healthy is already part of my lifestyle....I'm just not sure I want to devote even more time and energy to it to achieve a fairly superficial end goal. I mean, I'm not a bikini competitor. Why do I care, you know? Bleh, stupid head games. =)
  • donnysoule
    donnysoule Posts: 1,185 Member
    I think you look fantastic and I don't think anyone sees in the mirror what others see....
This discussion has been closed.

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