Lack of support

byvanzant
byvanzant Posts: 18 Member
edited November 10 in Health and Weight Loss
What do you do when someone seems to be sabotaging you. IE...choosing to go out to eat, cooking brownies, telling you that you will quit after a few months when you hit the plateau?

Replies

  • mygrl4meee
    mygrl4meee Posts: 943 Member
    My husband does all of the above. He doesn't have a weight problem. Just today he thought he was being nice asking me if I want a donut. Yes. I want a donut. But said no. Part of me would like to slap him but I know the choice is mine to make. But I practice everything in moderation so I do eat out, eat sweets and even donuts once in a great while. You have to practice self control and moderation
  • Unknown
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  • pinkiezoom
    pinkiezoom Posts: 409 Member
    Just smile on the inside and carry on regardless, you have made a lifestyle choice for you, and only you. Bet he wont be so negative when you are at your goal weight and acting all super hot ;)
  • RavenLibra
    RavenLibra Posts: 1,737 Member
    My wife consistently buys things that are not healthy...this is not about other people's choices... BUT your own accountability. THIS is for you not them.. it is about you... not them. STOP STOP STOP... ignore them and keep your eye on the prize.
  • jasonmh630
    jasonmh630 Posts: 2,850 Member
    No one can sabotage your lifestyle change but you. Yes those things can be annoying, but at the end of the day, it comes down to your willpower. Just sit them down and tell them like it is, that if they can't support you, then don't make any comments at all. If YOU are in control of your lifestyle change, then nothing they say or do will deter you from reaching your goals.
  • jgnatca
    jgnatca Posts: 14,464 Member
    How close is this person to you? If it's a parent or a spouse, then I'd be angry. We'd be having a frank conversation about it.
  • Tiernan1212
    Tiernan1212 Posts: 797 Member
    I don't see the things you've listed as sabotage. Sure, telling you you're going to quit in a few months is not supportive, but it's not sabotage. Secretly adding extra oil, telling you something is low cal when it's not, literally forcing you to eat food is sabotage.

    It makes it harder when the people around us do not have to or choose not to make the same food and exercise choices we do. However, I am the one that let myself get overweight. I didn't care enough about my body. No one else is responsible for my health choices, and no one else should be forced to eat or do the same things I do just because I let myself get fat.

    @PlaydohPants - why does it have to be a hate brownie? Maybe they just really like brownies and thought they were being nice by offering to share? Like you said, either say no or work it into your day.
  • FRJM
    FRJM Posts: 91 Member
    Maybe the thought of you losing weight and getting to your goal frightens him. He might feel like a new you, means getting shot of him?? Or he might feel jealous that you have the willpower to stick to yr guns....
  • troutrouter
    troutrouter Posts: 62
    No one can sabotage you. They are not force feeding you. Weight loss and fitness, as well as life in general, is about self-control, self-motivation, and self-accountability.
  • terra819
    terra819 Posts: 27 Member
    Get your support from somewhere else, like your MFP friends. Develop tunnel vision :) Look away when temptation strikes. Take pride in small accomplishments like looser jeans. Focus on yourself. My husband tends to act like this is a phase too, but when he starts seeing the results, he gets more on board. Its your struggle, not theirs. This battle can only be won by pure determination and will. And if you can't pass up the brownie this time, go for a run/walk afterwards. And if you want to go out to dinner too (because you just don't want to cook today), check the menu ahead of time and plot out your choices in MFP. Find items that are within your calorie range and enjoy your night out. There are always ways to make it work, you can do this!
  • AskTracyAnnK28
    AskTracyAnnK28 Posts: 2,817 Member
    byvanzant wrote: »
    What do you do when someone seems to be sabotaging you. IE...choosing to go out to eat, cooking brownies, telling you that you will quit after a few months when you hit the plateau?

    Ok...just because you decided that YOU want to live a healthier lifestyle doesn't mean the people around you have to. Your friends, family, husband, wife, whatever are still allowed to dine out and bake brownies if they feel like it.

    Telling you that you'll quit isn't sabotage...but it's a really mean thing to say to someone.

  • Roxiegirl2008
    Roxiegirl2008 Posts: 756 Member
    terra819 wrote: »
    Get your support from somewhere else, like your MFP friends. Develop tunnel vision :) Look away when temptation strikes. Take pride in small accomplishments like looser jeans. Focus on yourself. My husband tends to act like this is a phase too, but when he starts seeing the results, he gets more on board. Its your struggle, not theirs. This battle can only be won by pure determination and will. And if you can't pass up the brownie this time, go for a run/walk afterwards. And if you want to go out to dinner too (because you just don't want to cook today), check the menu ahead of time and plot out your choices in MFP. Find items that are within your calorie range and enjoy your night out. There are always ways to make it work, you can do this!

    This completely!

    I don't have any experience with not having support because my family and friends have been really supportive. I can be a bit mouthy and some what hard headed so I would consider them telling that I would quit after a few months as a personal challenge. I would be determined to make the changes.

    Good luck! I am sure it is hard without support.

  • adge1475
    adge1475 Posts: 77 Member
    @PlaydohPants I just really like the phrase "hate brownies"
  • Branstin
    Branstin Posts: 2,320 Member
    Other peoples' decisions to go out to eat, cook brownies, and choice of words do not have any reflections on your choices and it isn't sabotage. Sure, it is nice to have support and who couldn't do without some of the unsupported comments? Nonetheless, at the end of the day, it is all about your choices. The best thing you can do for yourself is to surround yourself with people who have the same goals as you do. Otherwise, chose a different topic to discuss.
  • JenNicole11
    JenNicole11 Posts: 1,834 Member
    You ignore them. It's hard to do, but it gets easier when you develop a "screw you" attitude when they are flaunting that crap in your face or telling you that you won't succeed. Screw them. You WILL succeed if you have the WILL to do so. They can try all they want, but you are the only person that can sabotage your progress. Also, eliminating foods is almost impossible for me... I'm too much of a foodie and fall into a binging cycle after eliminating certain foods that I love for so long. I'm still learning the moderation thing, but something that works for me is brushing my teeth after having a treat to keep me from going back for seconds :smile:

    Good luck! You can do this!
  • allie_00p
    allie_00p Posts: 280 Member
    Tiernan1212 wrote: »
    I don't see the things you've listed as sabotage. Sure, telling you you're going to quit in a few months is not supportive, but it's not sabotage. Secretly adding extra oil, telling you something is low cal when it's not, literally forcing you to eat food is sabotage.

    This.
    Personal Responsibility +1

  • byvanzant
    byvanzant Posts: 18 Member
    You guys all bring up valid points and have told me EXACTLY what I needed to hear! Sabotage might not have been the right word to use but I do appreciate all the comments and you are all right in that I am in control of my future and I am the one that am making the choices. This is why I love MFP because there are so many people out there that are doing this and will provide support. Here's to a new healthy lifestyle!
  • leooftheyear
    leooftheyear Posts: 429 Member
    jasonmh630 wrote: »
    No one can sabotage your lifestyle change but you. Yes those things can be annoying, but at the end of the day, it comes down to your willpower. Just sit them down and tell them like it is, that if they can't support you, then don't make any comments at all. If YOU are in control of your lifestyle change, then nothing they say or do will deter you from reaching your goals.

    ^^ This. plus everything in moderation... you can still go out and eat brownies and everything you used to do just less than you used to, or add an extra 20 minute walk to have extra calories.
  • SergeantSausage
    SergeantSausage Posts: 1,673 Member
    You have the choice.

    Every time. The choice is yours.

    There is no sabotage, it's in your head. These things *always* went on, you just weren't paying attention.
  • runningonmargaritas
    runningonmargaritas Posts: 69 Member
    adge1475 wrote: »
    @PlaydohPants I just really like the phrase "hate brownies"
    this :D
  • lucys1225
    lucys1225 Posts: 597 Member
    My husband did the same thing when I changed my diet many years ago. In fact, he even did it when I quit smoking 12 years ago. I believe the reason why he did so was because these are things we did together. It was our fun. I was changing and he wasn't and had no desire to. About 7 years later he did eventually quit smoking...still waiting on his change of diet. That being said, I never let him sway me or deter me in any way. It's about YOU feeling good and being healthy and if he can't join in then it's his loss!
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