Dating and the curvy body...anyone afraid of the weight loss

Options
ucbycindy
ucbycindy Posts: 23 Member
in Motivation and Support
I know this is going to sound very weird...I have always been 'full figured' and never had a problem dating, actually the men I have dated, have always like my size...weird I know.

BUT is anyone else afraid of what comes after the weight loss...
«1

Replies

  • vanartsdalen2
    vanartsdalen2 Posts: 13 Member
    Options
    A lot of it is confidence! When I lost weight I felt better and was a lot more confident and I KNOW that's why I got guys. Just stay confident and rock who you are! :)
  • krawhitham
    krawhitham Posts: 831 Member
    Options
    Yeah, it's all about self-confidence. I met my current bf at my highest weight, and he's never had an issue with my weight even though I lived most of my life 35 lbs lighter!

    If you lose a bunch of weight and suddenly feel self conscious and not confident anymore, that could certainly limit chances of dating. So important to just be the most confident and healthy YOU you can possibly be :)
  • KharismaticKayteh
    KharismaticKayteh Posts: 322 Member
    Options
    Not sure this will answer your question at all, but my husband is happy with my present figure. He's also happy when I'm thinner, or when I'm thicker. As long as I'm happy, he's happy, and even when I'm not happy, he still finds me attractive. What I'm getting at is that the only people who are worth dating are the people who are interested in you for you. Even if you end up dating someone who usually appreciates thicker girls, as long as they're into you for YOU and not your size or shape, then you may have found someone worth spending a lot of time with.
  • vanartsdalen2
    vanartsdalen2 Posts: 13 Member
    Options
    ^That 100%
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,742 Member
    Options
    KharismaticKayteh wrote: »
    Not sure this will answer your question at all, but my husband is happy with my present figure. He's also happy when I'm thinner, or when I'm thicker. As long as I'm happy, he's happy, and even when I'm not happy, he still finds me attractive. What I'm getting at is that the only people who are worth dating are the people who are interested in you for you. Even if you end up dating someone who usually appreciates thicker girls, as long as they're into you for YOU and not your size or shape, then you may have found someone worth spending a lot of time with.

    I really like this, and I agree.

    OP, I can relate somewhat. I was always plus-sized even in my teens, and never had trouble finding men who were interested in me including physically.

    When I met my husband several years ago, he was 100% into my then size 22 body. I am now size 10-12 and he is equally into me...not more, not less, he says. He is happy that I'm more confident about my body. He is also very happy that I did not lose my curves, and he won't lie about that. We actually discussed this in the past when I was losing the majority of my unwanted weight and was afraid I might get too thin. Now at a healthy weight with huge hips and large chest intact it's clear that will not happen unless I went to some extremes, which I don't plan to do.

    If you have felt confident and attractive in the past/present with your body it's very likely you will continue to feel that way if not more so when trimming down a bit. I find in discussing this with friends and reading these forums, the people who seem to be most unhappy with their bodies BEFORE weight loss are the least satisfied after weight loss. Of course there are exceptions, but it sounds like you will be just fine and continue to have pretty good experiences in this area.

  • TR0berts
    TR0berts Posts: 7,739 Member
    Options
    KharismaticKayteh wrote: »
    Not sure this will answer your question at all, but my husband is happy with my present figure. He's also happy when I'm thinner, or when I'm thicker. As long as I'm happy, he's happy, and even when I'm not happy, he still finds me attractive. What I'm getting at is that the only people who are worth dating are the people who are interested in you for you. Even if you end up dating someone who usually appreciates thicker girls, as long as they're into you for YOU and not your size or shape, then you may have found someone worth spending a lot of time with.


    psych-shawn-gus-fist-bumps.gif
  • jasonmh630
    jasonmh630 Posts: 2,850 Member
    edited January 2015
    Options
    Not sure about other guys, but from MY standpoint... Confidence is the key to all of it. I couldn't care less whether she's thin/curvy/athletic/whatever, as long as she's confident in herself as a woman and is happy regardless of her size. Confidence IS sexy.
  • jasonmh630
    jasonmh630 Posts: 2,850 Member
    Options
    KharismaticKayteh wrote: »
    Not sure this will answer your question at all, but my husband is happy with my present figure. He's also happy when I'm thinner, or when I'm thicker. As long as I'm happy, he's happy, and even when I'm not happy, he still finds me attractive. What I'm getting at is that the only people who are worth dating are the people who are interested in you for you. Even if you end up dating someone who usually appreciates thicker girls, as long as they're into you for YOU and not your size or shape, then you may have found someone worth spending a lot of time with.

    Bingo. Nail on the head.
  • dosesandmimosas
    dosesandmimosas Posts: 46 Member
    Options
    Interesting topic. My wife wants to drop 20 lbs of delightful curves. Of course, if it makes her happy I'll be supportive...but I'll miss them.
  • K8yMac
    K8yMac Posts: 167 Member
    Options
    Agreed! I too was a size 22 and now a size 10. I was not confident with my body and felt awful about myself. I got attention at my heavier size but I will say it's increased quite a bit with the weight loss. I still am not happy with my shape or seeing myself naked, for sure. So if you were super confident before you should have NO problems now. I also think it's individual, as well. Some people can snap out of it and gain confidence. I did gain confidence but I think I will always see that fat girl in the mirror, no matter what.
  • AskTracyAnnK28
    AskTracyAnnK28 Posts: 2,834 Member
    Options
    I haven't had much luck before or after my weight loss.

    Thank god for Netflix!! :'(
  • sophiek1964
    sophiek1964 Posts: 79 Member
    Options
    Why would you find that weird OP? Men love women in all shapes and sizes.
  • yopeeps025
    yopeeps025 Posts: 8,680 Member
    edited January 2015
    Options
    I know for me what comes after weight loss. Shirtless if I can year around.
    That is one of the many things that will go down.
  • Lezavargas
    Lezavargas Posts: 223 Member
    Options
    Im with ya! Im a bodacious girl. I may lose weight but im never going to be a size 2, and thats ok with me! For me, i dont ever want to lose my boobs and my butt, but j want to have toned arms and legs and a trim tummy. You can lose weight and still be curvy and sexy!!
  • Lezavargas
    Lezavargas Posts: 223 Member
    Options
    Confidence comes in all shapes and sizes! Confidence = sexy
    So do what makes you feel sexy and be confident and youll never have a shortage of men knockong down your door
  • yopeeps025
    yopeeps025 Posts: 8,680 Member
    Options
    dosesandmimosas wrote: »
    Interesting topic. My wife wants to drop 20 lbs of delightful curves. Of course, if it makes her happy I'll be supportive...but I'll miss them.

    Tell her this.

  • Adc7225
    Adc7225 Posts: 1,318 Member
    Options
    In response to your question. Yes, I understand how you feel, I didn't really think about it too much but it has definitely made itself known with the ending of my relationship - out of the blue! He never said anything but I know what he likes.

    While I feel better and may look better I still haven't come into totally owning it yet!Apparently to the outside world it seems like I do but I am much more withdrawn and lonelier than I was when I was larger. I have lost 94 pounds and I have noticed a shift in the type of men that look and speak to me now, part of my problem is that I feel sort of slight and very vulnerable so dating is not on my radar at this point.

    The reality is that we are attracted to what is physically pleasing to us and while confidence plays a part in that - there are still things we don't find physically attractive despite the confidence one projects.
  • tibby531
    tibby531 Posts: 717 Member
    Options
    my T&A were the first to go; in fact, for a while, I had NO curves. but I kept at it, and now I'm getting my curves back. only this time... they're better. ;)

    and, like everyone keeps saying, it really is all about the confidence. if a guy makes a rude comment that makes you second-guess your body or yourself, well... there's obviously a reason he's still on the market, and he doesn't need to be a part of YOUR life, either. (...I feel like there should be some finger snaps right here. for emphasis. :p )
  • UCCrista
    UCCrista Posts: 26 Member
    edited January 2015
    Options
    I don't know what to make of this subject, actually. That is probably why I am reading these posts.

    I have always been confident, and my friends and acquaintances have commented on this occasionally. However, whether 132 lbs. or 324 lbs. or anywhere in between, I don't remember a time when I didn't have "a shortage of men knockng down your door". I am fine with who I am and I have been comfortable with my body while 265 lbs. or less, but that doesn't seem to make a difference.

    Some of my girlfriends say my confidence is intimidating, but - wth - you either have it or you don't. Apparently, it's because I just don't care what other people think. I think it might be that I am more driven than most, and possibly my worldview. I don't know that confidence has anything to do with it.

    Like ADC said, you like what you like. Sometimes the package just falls short for whatever reason (physical, intellectual, emotional, whatever), and you are not interested. Other times, the rare ones, you find exactly what you want even if you didn't know it.

    "Thank god for Netflix!!" --tracyannk28
  • missprizz
    missprizz Posts: 3
    Options
    Confidence is definitely key. My best friend is full figured and she has amazing confidence and loves her body as is. Life is too short. The most important thing is to try to eat right and exercise...just try to live a healthy lifestyle but if you sometimes want to eat cake then eat cake. Its all about moderation.

Categories