Time to be honest with myself - motivation and support needed

KMB1218
KMB1218 Posts: 17 Member
edited November 10 in Motivation and Support
My friend recently decided to blog, for the first time, about her struggle with weight. She has inspired me to be honest with myself and put it out there in black and white. I have never actually written down my struggles, concerns and fears but I think the time has come for me to make myself accountable.

So here it goes…I have tried all kinds of diets and weight loss programs even lap-band surgery. With some diets/programs I have had some level of success but always stray and the weight returns and even at times with some additional weight. Then I had thought I had finally figured out this weight loss stuff. I was completely convinced that I had found the answer to my prayers when I decided to have lap-band surgery. I was ready, or so I thought, for this life change. Well my surgery was in August 2008 and I sit here almost 6 1/2 years later and I am still struggling. I will admit that the surgery was not a complete failure but I will also admit I have figured out how to cheat with the lap-band. I have lost weight as a result of the surgery, I have kept at least 75 pounds off post-surgery. However I had lost slightly over 100 pounds but have managed to fall off the wagon and gain about 25 pounds back. Although I realize 75 pounds is a significant weight loss for many it is such a small amount in comparison of the total weight I need to loose, a teaspoon from the weight loss ocean.

I have come to the conclusion that there is only one reason for this predicament; there is something wrong with me! Why else would I would allow this to happen! I know that I am morbidly obese and have high blood pressure. I know that I should be eating to live but I live to eat. I am embarrassed by my shortcomings: lack of weight loss, the enjoyment I receive from food, my inability to be as active as someone my age (41) should be and as active as I would like to be, my physical appearance and so many other reasons. I must find a way to change my mindset so, here I go again using My Fitness Pal…I am determined that this is the time to change my life…to take back my life.

Replies

  • donmcd
    donmcd Posts: 4 Member
    Hi,
    When you say that you think that there is something wrong with you, you may well be correct.
    Have you watched the BBC 2 series of programmes on the right diet?
    The last of the three programmes is on tonight at 9.00
    It is very interestingly linking fat and eating habits to our genes, and gives advice on how to help overcome problems.
    Good luck with your fight, and remember your not alone!
    D.
  • Lezavargas
    Lezavargas Posts: 223 Member
    There is nothing wrong with you. There is a different magic pill for everybody. If you dont find what genuinely makes you feel good you will ultimately fail. Its true what they say about making it a lifestyle. For me, much to my dismay, its veggies. The weight falls off when i resort to a vegetarian way of eating. For some its atkins, for others something else. I sympathize with you for having to struggle at the current weight you are at because that isnt a burden I have had to bear, i was overweight but not debilitatingly so. Watching "fed up" on netflix had a huge impact on me. When i tried a juice fast for a few days It blew my mind. I had never felt so ....light....not sluggish and slow like i had. I started slowly incorporating fresh fruits and veggies in place of the processed stuff and i just felt better and better. I still had my splurges, but the further into it i got, the less i wanted that other stuff. Its to the point now that if i eat chocolate i get a headache, if i eat out, i feel sick to my stomach. You wont realize how horrible you felt until you find a place where you feel great...that will be your motivation
  • bobbijodmb
    bobbijodmb Posts: 463 Member
    I am a big believe that once you are open talking about your weight issues change can happen. That is when I noticed the change.

    so now figure out little things that you can change, and those little changes will start to snowball. You didnt gain it all in one day, so kind of working backwards =)
  • bellabutt3
    bellabutt3 Posts: 105 Member
    I'm no expert...but 1st don't be so hard on yourself! Look at how much you've tried! Making the effort, no matter what it is counts!
    After being a "long tall drink of water" most of my life, now extra pounds have shown up and its not so easy anymore.
    Age has alot to do with it for me (people warned me) but I figured not me.
    Just refuse to get down on yourself! You are beautiful and powerful (we all are) so go get it girl!
  • CoachPriscilla
    CoachPriscilla Posts: 42
    edited January 2015
    Wanting to make a real change and putting it out there for everyone to see is a real positive first step. All of us struggle with eating - i like to snack far too much during the day and I work at home so it is so hard.

    I don;t see you mention anything about exercising. Maybe if you were to try to get moving more, even 15 more minutes a day, it would help give you a positive boost to do more nutrition wise? I know I always feel better and more motivated after I exercise - endorphins are for real!
  • KMB1218
    KMB1218 Posts: 17 Member
    Thank you all for your comments and kind words. I look forward to chatting with you.
  • bellabutt3
    bellabutt3 Posts: 105 Member
    Same here! We can do it :)
  • KMB1218
    KMB1218 Posts: 17 Member
    Again, I can't thank you all enough...yesterday was a very emotional day for me. I have to say being that honest with myself and sharing it with others was one of the hardest things i have ever done. The good news is I do not regret doing it...I am moving forward and am so happy with myself because I did not head home yesterday, after an emotionally draining day both personally and professionally, and eat everything in sight! Today is already a better day. :)
  • hoyalawya2003
    hoyalawya2003 Posts: 631 Member
    If you are interested, the book The Beck Diet Solution was very helpful to me. Don't worry, it isn't some fad diet--she is a behavioral psychologist that helps you change your relationship to food. I have been overweight to obese most of my adult life and have/had a very unhealthy relationship with food. I have found her techniques helpful--I am at my lowest weight since high school, and hope to reach goal this year. Good luck!
  • Lezavargas
    Lezavargas Posts: 223 Member
    Interesting video you might enjoy. If your not into the sciency stuff just watch the last 30.

    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ceFyF9px20Y
  • KMB1218
    KMB1218 Posts: 17 Member
    hoyalawya2003 wrote: »
    If you are interested, the book The Beck Diet Solution was very helpful to me. Don't worry, it isn't some fad diet--she is a behavioral psychologist that helps you change your relationship to food. I have been overweight to obese most of my adult life and have/had a very unhealthy relationship with food. I have found her techniques helpful--I am at my lowest weight since high school, and hope to reach goal this year. Good luck!

    Thanks for the recommendation...I will check it out. Congrats on your loss and best of luck in reaching your goal!

  • KMB1218
    KMB1218 Posts: 17 Member
    Lezavargas wrote: »
    Interesting video you might enjoy. If your not into the sciency stuff just watch the last 30.

    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ceFyF9px20Y

    I will check it out and thanks for the heads up about the last 30. ;)
  • tulips_and_tea
    tulips_and_tea Posts: 5,744 Member
    I agree with the others that you shouldn't be so hard on yourself! We all have our issues and demons to deal with. Instead of telling yourself you are a failure at dieting, acknowledge the fact that you just need to change your relationship with food.

    You already made that acknowledgement by not engaging in emotional eating after a stressful day! Good job! Take that feeling and make yourself feel it again every time you start to eat something. Decide if you are eating for hunger and fuel or for emotions. Just keep working on the underlying issues and your outer self will follow.
  • bellabutt3
    bellabutt3 Posts: 105 Member
    KMB1218 wrote: »
    Again, I can't thank you all enough...yesterday was a very emotional day for me. I have to say being that honest with myself and sharing it with others was one of the hardest things i have ever done. The good news is I do not regret doing it...I am moving forward and am so happy with myself because I did not head home yesterday, after an emotionally draining day both personally and professionally, and eat everything in sight! Today is already a better day. :)

    Awesome inspiration! I told you " you are beautiful and powerful" apparently you are starting to believe it! We can do this!
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