Dinner wars: My healthy eating plan versus my husbands low carb diet

He's a big boy - he can make his own dinner. I'm a pescetarian and my husband is always on Atkins - we've made our own dinners for 20+ years. Our daughter benefits - she gets to choose between two dinners each night.

Unrealistic goal. In fact, I suggest you show him this thread.

Also, he is a grown man. If he wants to eat a super restrictive diet, he can cook for himself.

TavistockToad wrote: »

get him to cook his own dinner?

This.. It's what I do. Makes things easy, and I get to eat what I want.

I'm rolling my eyes at fussy husbands everywhere. I've got one too and he's a master at getting his way...while I still end up doing the cooking. I swear he'd only be happy if I had a full-picture menu for him to choose from. AND he hasn't figured out that he should make up his mind in the MORNING so I can PREPARE. Heaven help him then if he is slow to the dinner table. Cold, you say? Fancy that. Next time hop to it when I call you to dinner.

From his point of view, waiters must seem a lot more cheerful.

I agree with the "cook it yourself" business.

Or you could suggest he buy and prepare the meat part of the meal and you prepare the sides. Tell him it will be an adventure.

Kruggeri wrote: »

jasonmh630 wrote: »

Low carb is one thing... But zero carbs is completely unrealistic.

^^This. Saying he is "aiming for zero carbs", if that is indeed what he said or thought he meant instead of just an oversight of saying/typing "low carb" implies to me that your husband hasn't done a lot of research about healthy eating and is latching onto an arbitrary and virtually impossible to achieve food restriction. Is he going to use MFP? Maybe show him some of the posts or research about IIFYM and/or other methodologies that you are trying to follow in your plan maybe you guys could come up with an approach that works for both of you.

Yeah, very low carb diets tend to have precious few long-term followers, and those that do stick to it are usually a bit more informed about what they're eating. Make him cook for himself and continue making your balanced meals. I suspect the novelty will wear off, and, if you're lucky, it will be before he gets stinky Atkins breath or scurvy.

lwright311 wrote: »

MelRC117 I agree. I think that's what bothers me so much. He is stuck on eating certain foods without considering portion size and total carbs. For example, he uses unlimited salad dressing which has carbs (some as much as 10 g per serving). He could eat my whole 40g carb dinner instead of the big spoons of peanut butter and even less calories.

Based on your subsequent posts I'm definitely going to recommend that your husband do some research before choosing the plan that is right for him. It sounds like he thinks that carbs are only in things like bread, pasta, etc and he doesn't understand that carbs are also in a lot of foods that he eats. If he's going to restrict a major macro profile, he needs to understand what a realistic goal is and be prepared to set some quantitative numbers that he can try to hit. I reiterate my suggestion that maybe having him read up about IIFYM.

Keto is a pretty particular lifestyle change. I've been doing it since last summer with really great results, but it takes some time to learn the ins and outs. He needs to be willing to read up on the details if its going to work. Keto isn't magic, you still need to count your macros and eat less calories than you expend if you expect to lose weight. This means measuring and weighing your food, and tracking net carbs accurately. He also needs to increase his electrolyte intake to avoid some of the nasty side effects that are possible. If you're interested in reading more to support him, this (http://www.ruled.me/guide-keto-diet/) is a great starter guide, as well as this (http://www.reddit.com/r/keto/wiki/faq). But really, there is no point in you cooking keto meals if he isn't going to put in the legwork to learn how to do it properly.

In our family, I cook keto dinners and hubby and kid eat them. Sometimes I'll throw a healthy carb in for them, I just don't eat it. Breakfast, lunch and snacks are up to them, and if they don't want what I make for dinner they can make something else

I think there is quite a bit of misunderstanding on both sides of this issue. Full disclosure: I'm a low carber.

Let's start with the husband. Zero carbs is just as unhealthy as very low fat/very low calories.

Low carb means lots of fresh non-starchy veggies and decent cuts of meat, simply prepared. I think the initial problem to be solved is laziness on his part. Sorry hubby but you need to 1) do some research and learn to count net carbs, your health is not something to slack off on nor should you try to shlep your responsibility onto your wife or anyone else, and 2) you need to own your own problem by preparing some/most of your own meals, if it has to be different from everyone else's in the family.

Having said that, assuming he actually does learn what a healthy low carb meal consists of and how to track it - might I also respectfully suggest that you meet him halfway on that? Though not necessarily in the way he wants LOL by doing all the work for him. What I mean is - please don't put the meat and veggies in a casserole. Impossible to pick out the healthy parts and leave the cream soups and grains/flours/cornstarch/potatoes behind. Leave them whole, and use fresh if you can. Or if everyone else must eat casserole, at least add a bowl of steamed veggies with butter and herbs for the family. And hubby can crank up the grill or crock pot or whatever to put a simple meat for himself on the table. Steak and buttered veggies are the low carber's best friend - no bread or potato needed. Once he knows how to eat properly (according to his chosen version of low carbness), and everyone watches the pounds melt off while he is noshing on steak and buttered veggies instead of casserole... the rest of family might decide they'd like to eat that way too! Regardless, it is important for everyone at the table to have healthy options even if his idea of healthy does NOT include grains. Perhaps if he does his homework, the two of you can come to a reasonable compromise on that...

You mentioned that 40 carbs isn't too much for a meal. Depending on which low carb method he chooses, that could be double what he would be eating *for an entire day*. I currently eat 20-25 grams of net carbs a day. I have never eaten so well as I do now, and I've never felt better. Once he reaches goal, he might be closer to 40 carbs, but again that would be for the entire day. Or if he goes Paleo, I think they eat 40-50 carbs per day... I'm not sure about that, I haven't researched Paleo deeply.

There are so many websites out there he can use to educate himself. Plenty of well known low carb methods - they are all quite similar really, but it's easy to learn and I think it's been easy to live with. He won't go hungry on it. And to think, I used to bake my own bread LOL, I even went vegetarian for a few years - never thought low carb would work for me, but now that I know and feel the difference - no going back.

Personally, I think - whatever method he decides to use to improve his health and/or lose weight - the most intelligent approach is to learn the science behind it - how does the body actually process carbs vs. protein vs. fat, anyway? How does that work? Which way of eating is healthiest becomes very clear at that point, and that's when *SNAP* it becomes a way of living instead of a temporary diet he might do for awhile then stop and gain all the weight back.

Wow, didn't mean to write so much! My apologies about the length. Best of luck with your dinner war!

Lisaeliz

Carsh_Lohal wrote: »

In our family, I cook keto dinners and hubby and kid eat them. Sometimes I'll throw a healthy carb in for them, I just don't eat it. Breakfast, lunch and snacks are up to them, and if they don't want what I make for dinner they can make something else

I am the primary cook in our house, and I follow a keto diet. I have a husband and four kids who don't. It's easy enough: meat, veg, starch and I skip the starch. When I do something like a hash, I just do two pans, one with potato, one not (I had a great kielbasa, mushroom and green pepper sautee the other night).

A grown man, who by the sounds if it, has his head up his *kitten*, can fend for himself.

Cooking the extra for a no-carb or low carb meal isn't as much of a problem as the clean up. I'd do it, but then make him do the dishes.

I agree that if you are cooking and he wants something else he should prepare it himself. I will say though, that if it were me, I'd prepare more meals that were not casseroles or one pot meals so that he could eat some of what I prepared.

For example, if you prepared yourself a lean piece of meat and him a fatty steak or chop, it would be no more work than if you prepared 2 lean. And if you served the grains or high carb vegetables on the side, he could simply skip those.

A little comprimise can sometimes go a long way in a marriage.