Do people treat you differently after you lost weight? Does it make you happy, or sad, or both?
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I'm losing the weight for myself, but, with that said... I have noticed the more I trim up, the more I get guys staring at me at the gym. I'm not offended - I'm kind of flattered that I catch their eye (never had that before). It's a good feeling, to me, that I'm working hard and it's being noticed.0
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I think I get what you're saying although other people don't seem to. People who knew you as a person and knew you to be interesting, smart, funny, or whatever your positive traits are, weren't interested in dating you before. Now, suddenly because you're a bit thinner, you're getting asked out by those same people.
I think it would be less offensive to be asked out by a stranger post-weight loss. They didn't know you before and they don't know you now. All they know about you so far is what they see standing in front of them, and they like that at the very least. People who knew you before but that wasn't good enough until you lost weight, well, that's a different story.0 -
lookitsnicky wrote: »People who knew you before but that wasn't good enough until you lost weight, well, that's a different story.
Bravo!0 -
I don't know why anyone would be upset over receiving attention after loosing weight. Success is a pretty attractive trait.0
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CuriousPIunger wrote: »I don't know why anyone would be upset over receiving attention after loosing weight. Success is a pretty attractive trait.
Success or not, the person was not deemed "worthy" by the other one that deems them "worthy" now, and that is not a good feeling.
It will feel so good for them to say no :)0 -
I get attention from men who never even spared me a second in the past and I feel confused because I'm both flattered and offended at the same time because these are men who either worked or studied with me long before I lost the weight.
You're describing your frustration with my sole motivation.
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I get attention from men who never even spared me a second in the past and I feel confused because I'm both flattered and offended at the same time because these are men who either worked or studied with me long before I lost the weight.
You're describing your frustration with my sole motivation.
LOL that username, though.
Bahahha...0 -
I get attention from men who never even spared me a second in the past and I feel confused because I'm both flattered and offended at the same time because these are men who either worked or studied with me long before I lost the weight.
People will treat you differently if you are more attractive to them. They will also treat you better if you smile more, act nicely etc. That's just how people are. Embrace it, be thankful, be happy and be you.0 -
YES! My older brother actually said he liked being with me more since I had lost weight because, "I couldn't stand to look at you before you lost weight!"0
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No one even noticed. I only lost 30 pounds, but on my frame that's a lot. I didn't lose the weight to impress other people, though, so it really didn't bother me that no one noticed.
They were probably jealous of your success so they didn't say anything. People who are confident in themselves find it easy to compliment others.0 -
Yes and no. I always made friends and got attention from guys. It's just different now. Different guys. Different attitude. I don't care anyway because I am married.
One thing I HAVE noticed though is if a male stranger makes a flirty or complimentary comment to me now and I act kind of unimpressed or don't smile, they seem TOTALLY unfazed like they expected that to be my reaction. When I was heavier I saw them get a little look or bit of attitude almost like, "Wow, you're fat so you should REALLY appreciate what I said about you being cute or whatever!" (they didn't say that but I recognized the look, and now it's totally gone which is an odd thing to notice) FTR I'm not talking about sincere, sweet compliments...which I'd always welcome. I mean a guy calling me "babe" or "hon" or saying "dang I like that dress on you" which is more unwanted attention to some extent...not totally inappropriate either...there's a grey area there.
As for female friends though, there's a huge difference in the ease with which I "make new friends" now. It seems like any time I meet a woman through other friends they want to be my buddy and hang out and go do stuff and so on. In the past when I was 100+ pounds heavier it was more like "oh hello, nice to meet you" and that's it. I get many more social invites.0 -
People treat you how you let them. DEMAND respect.0
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TheRoadDog wrote: »People treat you how you let them. DEMAND respect.
Yeah, I almost sunk my knife into a dude's car for honking his illegal horn at me at a gas station. That would have demanded jailtime if I got caught. My car was slow, so I weighed my options.. And no LOL.
-another story-0 -
Yeah, people do treat me different. Mostly in how they eat around me, to be honest. My same friends that I used to eat a truckload of food with, now order salads/vegetarian options when they go out with me.
Also, when I was fat, I was told how I was a "big girl" and I must "love to eat!" now that I am thin I get "dont be a skinny *kitten*" when I skip the fries, and "you are just naturally thin"
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yes they do.
I often think about gaining all the weight back so I know that they really like me for my personality...0 -
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It's weird.. Mine is opposite. I lost 50lbs and ZERO guys looked at me-- granted I still had more to lose... but then I had a really rough year and gained back 30lbs and I'm attracting weirdo's like flies on honey. I've gotten way more random guy attention in the past months. Maybe they think I am more in their league now? IDK.
I don't get upset over guys being more attracted to thinner girls. Even when I am obese, I'm still not super attracted to guys who are obese. I understand people having preferences. At the shape I am in now, I would totally hold back a guy who liked hike or rock climb every weekend.0 -
No, honey. You just feel healthier, even if you gained it back. Once your body gets a taste of the exercise.. You can't help but to get more.breefoshee wrote: »It's weird.. Mine is opposite. I lost 50lbs and ZERO guys looked at me-- granted I still had more to lose... but then I had a really rough year and gained back 30lbs and I'm attracting weirdo's like flies on honey. I've gotten way more random guy attention in the past months. Maybe they think I am more in their league now? IDK.
I don't get upset over guys being more attracted to thinner girls. Even when I am obese, I'm still not super attracted to guys who are obese. I understand people having preferences. At the shape I am in now, I would totally hold back a guy who liked hike or rock climb every weekend.
Keep pushing yourself :P
You're gorgeous :)
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I actually hate it when people say "You look great!... Have you lost weight??" Umm yeah, I did. But did I look that bad before? Ugh.0
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jmacbrodie wrote: »I actually hate it when people say "You look great!... Have you lost weight??" Umm yeah, I did. But did I look that bad before? Ugh.
LOL I had showed a picture of what I looked like before I lost the weight to a coworker and they were like, "Wow... you looked like a big ole, bully."
Now when my weight fluctuates I think of looking like a big ole, bully. Thanks, guy.
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No one really mentions it apart from people I don't see for a while like old work colleagues, and it's usually just something like "Where is the other half of you?" or "You've lost some timber" then we just carry on like normal.
My nan sometimes thinks I'm ill or doing crack or something though, and always trying to force feed me XD0 -
From about the 15lb mark onwards I never stfu about my weightloss. I'm not really sure it left much room for anyone else to comment on it..0
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I lost 100lbs and I get a lot more attention now than I did before. I mean, I never had problems attracting men but now it's bad. I am working on my confidence factor and I think that may have something to do with it as well. However.....friends treat me differently now that I'm at a "normal" weight. I have lost friends simply because they can't deal with the "new me". I am not cocky, I do not push my nutrition or workout info on anyone, I'm just not that type of person. It is very hurtful to lose a friend and to lose one over being healthy is just wrong. I had to get over it and realize those people have the problem, not me. Still a bit annoying though.
Be you, do you girl....0 -
I haven't noticed anyone treating me differently, but I have a pretty small social circle, work in a small office, and generally keep to myself (I'm a homebody).
However, I agree with you. If someone I'd known for awhile all of a sudden asked me out and said what that dude said to you, I'd take offense. Attraction for me is predominantly personality based, so if someone was obviously only attracted to me based on looks and had no interest in my personality before, I'd shoot them down.0 -
I lost 100lbs and I get a lot more attention now than I did before. I mean, I never had problems attracting men but now it's bad. I am working on my confidence factor and I think that may have something to do with it as well. However.....friends treat me differently now that I'm at a "normal" weight. I have lost friends simply because they can't deal with the "new me". I am not cocky, I do not push my nutrition or workout info on anyone, I'm just not that type of person. It is very hurtful to lose a friend and to lose one over being healthy is just wrong. I had to get over it and realize those people have the problem, not me. Still a bit annoying though.
Be you, do you girl....
I've had that happen too, mainly with one friend I'd known since high school. I have come to realize it's truly HER issue and that makes me even more sad. I talk constantly about my weight loss on MFP but in my "real life" I bring it up NEVER unless someone else does (part of the reason I am so active here). She avoids me and acts weird around me. It makes me sad.
I also think it's happened with another woman, though. She is a very pretty and very large girl my husband dated briefly long before me. She is also happily married to a handsome guy, just like I am, which is so cool...we were becoming pretty good friends online, or so I thought. I was even going to help with her thesis on obesity (something I have plenty of experience with myself). Once we met face to face, she acted really weird & made a bunch of comments about me being thin and how she didn't expect that. I am not even truly thin. I am average if that. Didn't ask me to help with her project and has mostly given me the cold shoulder since. Also makes me sad! When I was much larger I never felt that intimidated by women who lost weight.
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people treat me differently because I treat myself and others differently now. I carry myself differently, I think thats 90% of why people treat me differently. I care about myself and it shows. people like that.0
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Strangers? No. People I know? Yep.
I've got a mix. 1.) People that are supportive, proud, or impressed by my progress, 2.) people that are spiteful or even a bit jealous, 3.) people who haven't noticed (or haven't mentioned it) and who probably don't care. Most people fall into the last category, and I prefer it that way. I don't need your praise and I certainly don't need your negativity.0 -
My best friend (who is a guy) always tells me that confidence is 100x more attractive than size. He's not picky when it comes to size, but a woman who is confident about herself is much more attractive than face, size, etc. It's possible, OP, that you just have a new air of confidence and people are noticing.
I know that, in general, a guy who has muscles is much more attractive (to me) than a guy who is thin or heavy w/o muscles. But I've dated a guy who was "average" and one who was obese. (Ironically, neither were very muscular...)0 -
I must admit, there have been men who I didn't look twice at and then when they lost weight, I was like 'Oh h0ly Jesus, take a look at him now'!! Haha, doesn't mean I didn't like him as a person, or that I even thought he was fat before, he just had something different about him!
Maybe he had a twinkle in his eye after all his hard work, perhaps his confidence had grown so I noticed him, who knows. All I know is that I don't judge people based on their looks, but I did notice a difference and found him more attractive than I did before. xxx0
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