31 weeks ago today my life fell apart as i knew it....

2

Replies

  • crazymama2two
    crazymama2two Posts: 867
    im so sorry for your family. my heart breaks for you. i send you love and strength and luck on your journey
  • Sweetcheeks278
    Sweetcheeks278 Posts: 356
    I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my Dad not too long ago so I can relate to how much your life is turned upside down. You and your children will definitely be in my thoughts and prayers. Getting healthy would be a great way to keep you going during this difficult time. Good luck to you!
  • PJilly
    PJilly Posts: 22,253 Member
    Well,,,theres been some MAJOR changes in my life in the last 7 months. My healthy hubs died in his sleep@42 and I three children to raise alone (i'm 41 and they are 11, 13, 15 and "Dad" was our life). I GAINED 15 lbs since he left and even tho in the past years was able to lose it, this time it just WON'T go. 31 weeks ago today my weight was ok, but he had left the house that morning in a black van and things were falling apart QUICKLY. I need to rebuild now, finally. Today seems like a good day to start. 12oo calories and will have to w/out 6x/wk to come close to my July 1 goal of 138. (20 lbs off) I was 146 that day in October, very close to my goal... but then all the rules changed and it was hard to see the goal anymore, it didnt matter. HOWEVER, for the past months I've been getting my head better but my body is getting worse and worse no matter what i seem to do. Time to try something a bit different, so here i am. I've learnt how to deal with death, and him not being here for us anymore, but what I'm NOT able to deal with is how unhealthy my body feels! This is something I should be able to control, unlike someother things in life... AND I WANT TO TAKE THE POWER BACK!!! :smile:
    I agree. Today seems like an excellent day to start. :heart: If I could offer one suggestion, it would be to take it slower. Working out six days a week and eating 1200 calories may help you get to your weight-loss goal faster, but if you want to be as healthy and strong as you can be (who doesn't?), make sure you eat enough to fuel those workouts by keeping the calorie deficit smaller (aiming for 1/2 pound a week seems good to me). Bless your heart for all you've been through. And congrats on your decision to take the power back. :flowerforyou:
  • Sonofabiscuit2
    Sonofabiscuit2 Posts: 323 Member
    I'm very sorry for your loss, but I will tell you, that reading this just put my troubles in perspective. Good luck and God bless you.
  • Julesjhj
    Julesjhj Posts: 150 Member
    Sending hugs and encouragement as well as a friend request. So sorry for your loss.
  • franic1017
    franic1017 Posts: 41 Member
    Like everyone else who has commented, my heart goes out to you and your family. I just want to say "I'm proud of you". Proud of you for being strong and making the decision to move forward for you and your family. It takes so much to do that after such a loss, I'm sure. MFP is a great beginning to reach your goals. We are all here for you. You CAN do this. Hugs!
  • eeeekie
    eeeekie Posts: 1,011 Member
    So incredibly sorry for your loss. I can sympathize with you on so many levels. We lost my sister 4 1/2 years ago due to a drunk driver and myself and my mom lived off fast food and a pint of Ben & Jerry's every night. There were so many excuses as to why we ate that way and being in the depths of depression and despair really doesn't allow you to see what you're doing to yourself. I'm so glad you're able to see what has happened and make a conscious choice to change it while still in the very early stages of your tragedy. It took me 4 years to figure that out and get the strength and courage to make the choice to take control. I hope it's not too forward coming from a stranger but I'm very proud of you for taking the power back and helping yourself...you helping yourself will only help your children and others around you move forward and grieve healthily and properly.
  • loopylis
    loopylis Posts: 116 Member
    I am so sorry for your loss, my heart goes out to you x I wish you all the luck in your weight loss journey.
  • smilebhappy
    smilebhappy Posts: 811 Member
    I am soooo sorry for your loss...I can not even imagine loosing my husband.
    My heart goes out to you and your family. You will have great success here at MFP.....you've taken the hardest step
    I am proud of you for making the decision to stay strong & take care of yourself for your kids
    You can do this! Stay strong; sending you encouragement as well as a friend request.
    ((hugs))
  • beachbumdoug
    beachbumdoug Posts: 171 Member
    Very sorry for you loss, could not even imagine.. If you need any motivation or support, please feel free to add me, this site has some awesome members and all are willing to help.
  • texaslady9376
    texaslady9376 Posts: 7
    I won't even pretend to know how you are feeling right now. Words can barely express it. It may sound cliche, but I wish you the best of luck as you begin this new chapter in your life.
  • LABrn
    LABrn Posts: 1
    My husband died 18 months ago, I am 49 and have gained 20 lbs since. I need to lose 25 lbs. I have 2 children and no money, work 3 jobs, getting to the gym is hard, but I don't prioritize it either. I had to stop running to prevent injuries that would devastate the finances if i were to become unable to work.

    I am used to eating heavy due to 32 years of being a runner, with generally good weight control.

    Pressure to stay healthy for the kids as the only living parent is tremendous.
  • soulfulleoness
    soulfulleoness Posts: 21
    I love that you are asking for support. I love that you are willing to take the oars of your boat and row in your own direction, determined to reach a shoreline that you can firmly stand on the ground.
    I too, like the many that replied before me, am saddened and sorry to hear your story. I know life changes in the blink of an eye, and stories like this helps others (Me) to never take life or our loved ones for granted.

    Kudos to you. You are supported. You are strong. You WILL make it. One step at a time. Blessings to you and your family. May this bring you one step closer to peace.
  • misslys9304
    misslys9304 Posts: 17
    stay strong girl!
  • breezey77
    breezey77 Posts: 89 Member
    God bless you! I wish you the best on your journey.
  • Eviesmum
    Eviesmum Posts: 270 Member
    My husband died 18 months ago, I am 49 and have gained 20 lbs since. I need to lose 25 lbs. I have 2 children and no money, work 3 jobs, getting to the gym is hard, but I don't prioritize it either. I had to stop running to prevent injuries that would devastate the finances if i were to become unable to work.

    I am used to eating heavy due to 32 years of being a runner, with generally good weight control.

    Pressure to stay healthy for the kids as the only living parent is tremendous.

    It must be so hard :flowerforyou:
  • M_lifts
    M_lifts Posts: 2,218 Member
    i am so sorry to hear about your loss. You can and will have some control back. stay strong :)
  • Kells44
    Kells44 Posts: 10
    I'm so sorry to hear of your loss, what a devastating shock that must've been for you & I can't imagine what you have been through! I wish you all the luck in the world with your journey now xxx
  • HaleyAlli
    HaleyAlli Posts: 911 Member
    Wow, you are SO strong!! My condolences for what happened to your husband, that's so sad. But kudos to you for making a comeback! Best wishes on your journey and I'm here for support if you want to add me! <3
  • Cynthiafaron
    Cynthiafaron Posts: 114 Member
    so sorry for your loss - you're a strong woman in that you can deal with such a great loss and be there for your children too ! I believe you can get thru anything . Good luck on your journey.
  • susiewusie
    susiewusie Posts: 432 Member
    btjsk and LABrn I can`t imagine what either of you must be going through ,feel free to add me as a friend ,so sorry for the loss of both of your husbands x
  • deb1225
    deb1225 Posts: 3
    I admire your courage and strength and will be praying for you and your children.
  • calmmomw3minimeez
    calmmomw3minimeez Posts: 499 Member
    First just let me start by saying that I'm so sorry for your loss because that really IS a loss. I've been thru something similar, but not with my husband...it was my parents...long story but I want you to know that you should be congratulated on the way that you are living, so CONGRATS!!! You are a very strong woman to be into getting yourself straight cause I know how hard it is to get MENTALLY fit so that you can be PHYSICALLY fit after your life has been traumatized the way yours(mine) has. You are already victorious in that you have made wise decisions about your life and well-being so KUDOS girl! Welcome to the site...you have come to the right place for support, motivation, information, and just plain old venting if need be, so feel free to add me if you feel that you need to get something out of your system cause I am the exact same way. It's been two years since my parents left and I feel that I have a good understanding of 'leaving', but it still bothers me sometimes and I have to do what it takes to 'get my mind right'....I know that you know what I'm trying to say, so I'll just welcome you again and say that I really believe that being on this site will help tremendously because it has done the same for me, so go with it, do what you gotta do, God bless you and your babies and ROCK IT OUT...you can definitely do it, so stick with it, cause there's NOTHING that we can't come thru without victory!!! My heart goes out! Peace, love, and blessings to you cause you deserve it plus being fit, so do it and be proud!!!:flowerforyou:
  • 2dogzrule
    2dogzrule Posts: 245 Member
    I am so sorry reading your post about your husband, but happy to see you are raising and setting a great example for your children. Perseverance is key in any situation and I wish you the best of luck! If you need networking/support, please feel free to add me as a friend.
  • ThaiKaren
    ThaiKaren Posts: 341 Member
    So so sorry for your loss. Wishing you all the best for your Healthy New lifestyle. I think everyone on MFP will be here for you and your journey. I know how you must be feeling my husband died at 45 and I was left with 2 teenage children, it's very hard I know. Lots of hugs sent your way and please feel free to add me as a friend if you need to vent or need a shoulder to cry on I'll be there for you xx
  • xelapw
    xelapw Posts: 12
    I have experienced loss too, although with me it was a baby to cot death at less than four months. What I can say is that time is a great healer and things will get better. They will take their time!

    With regard to your weight you have to remember food is our comfort blanket and our drug. Do not look at what you ate yesterday, that is past and gone, you can do nothing about it. Start today, the first day of your new life and take it a day at a time.

    Good luck to you and the children, a lot of people are willing you to succeed.
  • Angel1066
    Angel1066 Posts: 816 Member
    I'm truly sorry for your loss, and pray that thinks will get a little easier for you as you begin your journey to fitness.
  • yahifranch
    yahifranch Posts: 15 Member
    I admire you for showing the world you are a role model for all of us, a strong person and a great mom. I wish you the best!
  • ohthatmomma
    ohthatmomma Posts: 115
    I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Your heart must be hurting. The healing process is a great one, but nothing you can't accomplish. You have already taken some of your power back by being here! xoxoxo to you and your children! May God bless your endeavors!!!
  • KaizokuNoMaiku
    KaizokuNoMaiku Posts: 164
    Sorry for your loss, I found this next part rather fitting for your story and maybe somewhat ''motivational''.
    Sorry if you are offended by it or annything like that it wasnt ment like that.

    I am not saying that you are not justified in feeling the way that you feel. I know you have had it tough at times. I know that at times you feel that it’s all very confusing and just too hard. I mean you have worked very hard. You’ve done all that you possibly could in your life whether it is at work or at home. But things just don’t seem to have worked out as well as you had planned or hoped. It all just seems to have gone wrong and you don’t know or understand how or why.

    But that’s okay. It’s normal. That’s what being human is all about. That’s what life is all about. Life is hard. Accept that.

    Once you do, you will feel better about your circumstances. Then you won’t think of your situation as anything but what is common to every human being. Then you will think of your situation as a part of life. You will no longer beat yourself up about how bad things are or how you are not doing so well in one area or another. You will realise that you are only human. You make mistakes just like everybody else. You are not perfect just like everybody else.

    But don’t stop there. Accepting that life is hard does not mean that you accept every circumstance and simply go with the flow.

    You see, there are two sides to this story. There is another side to this coin. On the one side of the coin is where you have the words “life is hard” inscribed, but if you turn that coin over you will five very small but powerful words. They read:

    “You can make it better”

    That is one of the beautiful things about life. You can make your life better. You have total responsibility for what you do and how you respond to the fact that life is hard. As the now cliché saying goes:

    “If life hands you lemons, make lemonade.”

    Best of luck on your fitness, I'm sure you can do it !
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