Who told u that u weren't worth it?

My husband. Even now, without words. When I proudly tell him about the vigorous exercise I completed that day...he laughs and talks about how vigorous his job is instead. When he sees I'm cleaning out the unhealthy foods in the fridge...he brings home cake and ice cream (for him of course, because I should be strong enough to resist). It's as if he wants me to stay fat so I won't leave him. Ugh.

Nearly everyone I've been close to in my life. I've always felt second best and like I'm never anyone's first choice. My low self esteem stems from hundreds of different encounters with different people. From the kids that bullied me in high school to my own father who showed preference of my sister over me. And it's not just how they treated me, but how I allowed them to make me feel. I do take some responsibility for letting them get to me. The ones from my family hurt the most. I grew up in a very traumatic household where people were always fighting. My sister used to hide me and my other sister in the closet when my parents fought. Later in life both of my sisters would get into knock down drag out fights with my mother. I've learned the hard way not to trust people or depend on them for anything. Just about the only person that doesn't make me feel that way is my daughter. It always makes me wonder what I am putting out there to people that make them think I'm disposable or an easy target. I have yet to figure it out, but as I get older, I'm working hard toward letting all of that negativity go. It's not easy. Not sure why I shared all of this, lol. I guess reading the op brought it out.

bcattoes wrote: »

This sounds like another way to blame someone else for the fact that you (general you) are overweight. There are a precious few people lucky enough to not have anyone ever make them feel not worth it. Not all of them got fat.

That's not fair. She's not insinuating everyone that ever felt unworthy, who was brainwashed into that life, were the only people that ever got fat. You can not deny there is a huge correlation, tho. There's a large population of us here who have similar backgrounds, whether you want to admit it or not. This is about reaffirming to those who wear that particular scar that they are worth it and can shed the mindset along with the weight. You're right, not all of them got fat.. Many turned to drugs. Many to alcohol. Many became bullies. And those people may or may not ever be able to be more than a drug addict or alcoholic or bully.. but those of us here are taking control. not blaming and pointing fingers, and winning! And part of the struggle in taking control involves discovering WHY we do/did what we do/did in the first place, so that we may change it.

It's curious to me that you are here, in a very superior way, yourself. If you weren't hurt and ate to cover the pain, then why are you here to begin with? If you were perfect and responsible for your own destiny in the first place, why did you need a weight loss forum to join? Be very careful where you throw your stones.

I wasn't being superior or throwing stones, that is just your interpretation. I find it counterproductive to point fingers at someone else for weight gain. Only very young adults who have been fat since they were children have a right to that IMO. Overweight children can and should blame their parents.

I don't believe the "poor poor pitiful me, it's not my fault I'm fat" mentality does anyone any good. I know how I gained weight. I ate and drank too much and exercised too little. It has nothing to do with my dad leaving when I was young, or having to raise 2 kids on my own, or any of the other negatives in my life. It's because I ate and drank too much and exercised too little. Not because I didn't live a fairy land full of miracles and unicorns.

If you want to point blame at others for your weight gain, and sling insults my way because I say I don't buy it. Go ahead. It's a public forum. But I still don't buy it.

Right! No chip on that shoulder!

I think a lot of overweight people have had some bad experiences and have been told they weren't worth it. Not a fan of Dr. Oz in any way, but there is often eating disorder stuff thrown in with obesity. Working through it is a better idea than not.