Frustration.....Need Advice/Help/Suggestions

I don't really know how to motivate you. Yes, I have been very, very like you for a lot of my life. For me, I don't know why, but I finally said "enough." You may have to get to your "enough" point.

As far as children...it's time to crack down, for your child's health. Not in a mean way...but crack down. I get you. My middle son is autistic and he is picky and borderline-bizarrre about certain foods and textures. It had come down to him basically eating ONLY snacky, wheat-y, pasta-y things. And he did become overweight. Not huge, but overweight.

I finally said "ENOUGH...I am the one who is the parent here" (said this to myself, I mean). If my son is unhealthy, who is to blame? I am his mother. He is a minor and I do have control over what he eats. If he's overweight, sluggish, tired and underperforming, that's on me. That's my fault.

So I started to tell him, "We have X, Y and Z to choose from for lunch and if you don't eat it, you'll be quite hungry by dinner time. So I'd like you to eat something now. That will give you energy and make you feel good." Sure, he whined a lot about it. But I knew he wasn't going to starve to death. When he was hungry enough, he was going to eat. And it wasn't like I was trying to force wheatgrass smoothies down him or anything. It was all very normal foods. Oranges, for example. I mean come on.

And I always gave him a choice, to give him some control. I never sat him down and said, "You're going to eat these broccoli florets, or you don't eat until tomorrow morning." I said, "you can have broccoli, green beans or corn." That sort of thing. I also offered him these items in conjunction with something I knew he did like, so I knew he'd feel emotionally happy and would also be getting calories, not starving and wasting off the face of the earth. So for example, he might get a palmful of popcorn as a treat on the side with his lunch. Or have pepperoni slices or cheese, or yogurt.

The first time I offered him an orange instead of some junkola bar he freaked out and cried. I told him I loved him and when he was ready for the orange, let me know.

Six months ago he ate from maybe three or four different foods. Today he eats - happily - from among literally dozens of different foods, of all types (veggies, fruits, dairy, protein).

Your children won't starve to death. Offer them healthy choices, stay strong against the "But I NEED Doritos" tantrums - but you have to do it yourself too. It does come down to you.

Ok just my thought: you are looking at all the negatives and are getting overwhelmed. You can purchase many healthy foods already cooked as the market. Let's make a list of the things you can eat for a start. Then go to recipes and see what is available to make. I don't cook but learned to bake chicken and potatoes in the oven. I make chili and soups in the crockpot (so easy really). Then I looked up some frozen food that was healthier then their fast food counter parts such as sweet potato raviolis. Do you grill, my husband does and cooks extra so I can have lunch. Don't take this wrong but knowledge is key to losing weight, so ask often what people are eating and how they cook it. I think every one will share their knowledge with you. Friend me and I will give you some other things I cook to help you.

I'm not a mom, nor do I look after kids, so please take my suggestions with a grain of salt - they may or may not work.

Programs like Nutrisystem, Jenny Craig and even Weight Watchers fail to teach adherents one crucial aspect of weight management: proper nutrition. Most of those systems have pre-packaged, pre-made foods that you buy and eat out of the box. You'll know how many calories are in them, the ingredients in them, maybe even the macros. But you won't learn how to cook or prepare healthy meals on your own, which is key to maintaining weight loss. I've had several older lady friends (I'm in my 20s) who've successfully lost on Weight Watchers or some other packaged nutritional system, but when they reached their goal weights, they didn't know what to eat to maintain that success and they ended up gaining back a good portion of their lost weight.

Especially for kids, it's important to teach them about food and vital to teach them how to cook their own meals. I really like this recent CBC.ca article on "Eating Education" in Japan that shows how powerful food education can be when it comes to teaching kids to be mindful of what they eat and how it affects not only themselves, but the greater community.

For me, I work 40 hours a week, go to the gym in the early morning and am often out of the house until 9-10PM. On Saturdays, I'm out of the house in the mornings until 1-2PM and then usually out and about until 10PM. Sundays are my only "stay home" day during the week. I know it's no comparison to having kids, but I'm hoping to show that I understand how time-crunches can pull the ability to prepare out of things.

But even being busy, I make the time to prepare my meals. I plan out a meal plan well in advance - sometimes I plan a whole day's worth of food in advance so I batch-cook everything, sometimes I compile a list of "modular" meals so I can mix-and-match if I get bored. It's heavy work up-front, but once you know a list of meals to fall back on, it gets easy and time-saving.

I recommend you take the time to put together healthy recipes that meet your calorie and macro-nutritional goals. Figure out what fresh foods you like, what meals you enjoy cooking, what healthy snacks you can prepare in advance to take to work.

Better yet, if you have evenings with kids - provided they're old enough - involve them in cooking, too! There are a ton of recipes online that are kid-friendly and include instructions on how to get kids to help out. Make home-made chicken nuggets (basically grilled chicken breast that you cut into shapes using cookie cutters before cooking), get kids to take care of laying out cut veggies (you do the cutting, unless there's an older kid who can use a knife safely, then they can be "chef") or arranging them in a dip-cup. Make meal preparation a family affair and have fun with it.

Not only does it help you spread out the prep work (measuring out ingredients is usually a task younger kids can help with and it saves a ton of time), it gives you and your kids a fun bonding activity that also serves as food education for everyone. After a snack or meal, when no one is hungry, maybe even try hitting a farmer's market or a grocery store and have them point out veggies or fruits they've never tried and want to taste. Look up recipes and prepare them together.

Cooking fresh meals together with your kids will help you learn how to control your portions and intake - especially using the Recipe Book here on MFP - and give you a way to not only spend time with your kids doing a fun activity, but to ensure they're learning how to cook healthy meals for the future.

This year, I have found a renewed success not seen in the past with Eatthismuch.com. It took a bit of clicking to get it to work for me (I suggest the walk thru in the Help menu). In the last three weeks, I've come across two recipes I won't make again and am down 6 lbs (two pounds a week). The recipes are easy enough, customizable, you can enter your own recipes, drag and drop meal changes, and each one is scalable to less servings then the whole recipe. (I usually have 1 serving during the day and 2 at night to create leftovers.)

It is free to do one day at a time, or there is a monthly/yearly fee. I loved it so much, I paid for the year.

*I am in no way associated with these folks. I just highly support their site and mission.

Get yourself some measuring cups and a scale and start measuring one meal a day. Baby steps as others have said. You can't get anywhere until you understand the portions you are feeding yourself.

Then start adding more vegetables and good things to your diet, easy recipes. Here's a great place to start.

http://www.pinterest.com/pin/361132463843521611/

Many obese people like you and me have trouble with "all or nothing thinking". You haven't even started because you can't do it all. Good news, you don't have to do it all.
http://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/perfectionism.htm

Even small changes in what you are doing now will make your life better.

I am also a mom...my boys are 9 & 7. One loves veggies and dislikes most fruit. The other loves fruit and dislikes most veggies. It can be increasingly frustrating. My boys also get the "choice" menu on veggies on the side. And with whatever I cook, there is a try it twice rule. Meaning, you must try it the two times I make it. Because some nights they like something that they hated three weeks ago. AND for us it is crucial that just because Daddy doesn't like something, he always tries it and always eats all of his veggies. If Daddy likes it, then my boys are pretty much on board with it. I also don't buy soda or junk food. If we want sweets, I make them.

Cooking is a continuous learning process. Crockpots are wonderful. I use mine a lot, especially when I know the day is full of school and karate and homework. Growing up vegetarian, it was difficult for me to learn how to cook meat correctly...and I am still learning. But the oven and chicken go hand and hand.

We stopped eating fast food, except for once a month. Typically when we go out to eat, we choose a sit down restaurant and the kids pick what they want from the menu. They love to impress the waitress by ordering on their own. I am happy to say that most of the time, if they choose a corn dog or chicken nuggets, they will also choose mandarin oranges or apples as their side.

You can do this. It can be so overwhelming and frustrating, but little by little it will get easier. I am on the one in my house that needs to lose weight. And the rest of the family participates. My kids ask me almost daily if I did my workout or on days off, they do it with me. My husband never ever complains about anything I make, because he knows I am making us all healthier. Good luck. You can friend me if you want.

I will admit, cooking skills were instilled in me at a young age, so I haven't had to face the issue, but I taught quite a few friends when I was in university how to cook basic dishes. Do you have any friends you can invite over who can cook with you?

Additionally, I'm not sure where you're based, but Jamie Oliver has the cooking classes and the mobile food truck to help people learn how to cook (even complete beginners) healthy balanced meals on a budget. They also have kids classes, so what better way to get your kids to learn to like their fruit and veg other than to cook it themselves?

withpeanutbutterontop.blogspot.com is a website with all sorts of lower cal recipes.
allrecipes.com has any recipe that anyone posts so that has a great assortment

And then worst comes to worst, I just Googled "crockpot" or "slow cooker", the type of meat you want to use, and "easy" all in one search and it usually pops up some recipe sites. The amount of hours that you want the crockpot to be set is also good to determine if you can use the recipe (i.e. work 10 hours home in 11 hrs so you want the cooking time to be no less than the 10hours on a setting not 8 otherwise things can get dried out a little). I've done 8 hr recipes in 10 hrs, but it isn't the optimal thing to do especially with picky eaters.

Good luck with your experimentation!

Small, but meaningful steps.
Realize that there is a whole lot of ground between constant take out and turning into a professional chef.
Cooking is easier than you think.
My tips:

Make counter/prep space in your home a priority. I always find it harder to motivate myself to cook if it means cleaning before hand.
Start simple, with as few utensils/dishes as possible. It will be hard to like cooking if it means needing to clean up a million dishes afterwards.
The microwave is not evil. Use it.
If it fits your budget, don't be afraid of short cuts. If sodium isn't a concern, use a rotisserie chicken rather than trying to roast one yourself. I sometimes grab precut veggies from the salad bar for a stirfry rather than cutting up various peppers, onions, carrots, etc.

Start simple. Go light on ingredients to start. Remember that many foods are easier than driving to a restaurant.

Some quick meal components with reasonable calorie counts:
Microwave a potato or sweet potato.
Toss chicken breasts into a shallow baking dish with lemon juice and black pepper.
Scramble eggs. Lightly oil pan. Cook eggs.
Salad- so easy.
Turn canned chicken into a yummy buffalo chicken with a little Franks.
Pierogies can be grilled.
Many veggies are easy on the grill.
Chicken sausage is yummy and feels indulgent. Grill, or pan fry. Done.
Pork loin, quartered apples, and onions into a dish in the oven with maple syrup (the real stuff). Even your kids will love it, so sweet.
Like fish? All you have to do is put in in a baking dish with liquid. I like a mix of lemon and orange juice.
Homemade pizza- get the kids involved. Grill for yummy crunch.
Lasagna can fit your macros- try the recipe on the Barilla pre-cooked noodle box subbing out light cheeses. Its really just mashing stuff together and layering, then turning on the oven. So simple.


Start simple with few ingredients and few dishes and build up your confidence. There are a lot of great recipes out there, but for starting out, I recommend the ones with the least amount of words. There are also some great recipes on this board that are fantastic because posters simplify them as they type them out.