I need support, suggestions, and help

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I need some serious help. Last time I did this, it helped a bit.

I don't normally weigh myself but I was going to the doctor to get my birth control pills renewed and I wanted to make sure I knew my weight in case they asked. It was up about twenty pounds!!! I more care about how I feel because that's more important, in my opinion.

I know the main problem is my snacking at work. For some reason, I feel the need to snack there. When you're there fifty hours a week, you can eat a lot of snacks. I'm OCD so it's like I have to do something weird all the time. Sometimes I chew my nails. I picked my head until I had dandruff that I couldn't get rid of for months. I need another habit that I can do at my desk job.

I also won't show my co-workers my snacks cuz it's embarrassing. So I'm like hiding it. Ugh I know. I'm ridiculous.

I just don't know what I should or could do. Everyone thinks vegans should be like crazy healthy but we can be pretty unhealthy too.

I wish I could just snack on something like gum except I have a irrational fear of my fillings falling out of my teeth.

I know I've got a gazillion problems with OCD and anxiety and this weight thing is just added. And I'm shy and embarrassed to tell anyone or talk about it and I'm scared people will make fun of me.

It's just majorly lowering my self esteem and my engagement ring is getting too tight. We were originally going to get it resized but I told my fiance that I had gained some weight so I wanted to wait a bit. I tell my fiance everything except about my extreme self esteem issues. He knows a bit but not everything. My clothes don't fit as well either. I just look in the mirror and hate what I see. I know I'm an attractive person and guys hit on me all the time, regardless of my weight, but it's how I see myself. I don't know what to do.

Replies

  • WandaMM1
    WandaMM1 Posts: 132 Member
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    Maybe you could 'focus' your OCD tendencies toward something that would help you reach your goals. Commit to 'moving' for 5 minutes every hour - walk a flight of stairs or take a lap around the building. These micro breaks are supported and even encouraged at my company. As for snacking, replace your snack with an activity or water - try adding something to the water to help make it feel more special (e.g. fruit slices, cucumber, mint, or even fresh basil is oddly good in water). If you must eat - try to "obsess" about portion control and/or snacking on things that will help you reach your nutrient goals (e.g. protein, veggies, fruit, or whole grains).
  • jennifeffer
    jennifeffer Posts: 98 Member
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    First of all take a deep breath. Coming from someone who has suffered from anxiety, I understand how you are feeling. How about making drinking water your new habit? Make some healthy snacks on Sunday to have ready for work the next week. Don't take any money with you if there are vending machines. Trying to focus on one day or even one snack at a time may help..... good luck:)
  • awolf2011
    awolf2011 Posts: 265 Member
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    I agree with both of the posters. All very good ideas. You need to be comfortable with yourself in all aspects of weight loss. It is a struggle. Take the compliments when you can get them though because you need those as well. When I get compliments sometimes I'm like "what?", then realize that if others notice, I must be on the right track. I've started doing the mini-breaks at work too. I'm not at work as much as you are, but I still find time to take those 5 min breaks to get up and moving. It helps a lot.
  • shaynak112
    shaynak112 Posts: 751 Member
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    Thanks all. I already am ocd with water. I have a huge water bottle (1L) that I refill multiple times per day as well as some non caffeinated (or low caffeine) tea. I do need to switch my ocd tendencies to something else.
    I already bring homemade lunch and fruit (I'd probably be even bigger if I didn't do that lol). I wish I chewed gum more. Even when I get over my fear of my fillings falling out, the gum loses it's flavour so fast lol.
    I wish it was easy to just switch habits but I'll just keep trying!