There's no such thing as a bad day.

I've come to the conclusion, 1 donut, 2-1/2 sugar cookies, and a can of Monster later, that there is no such thing as a bad day. I mean really, why blame the day? For example, let's take a look at Wednesday.

Wednesday was obviously the last kid to be picked for the team. Everyone hates Mondays, of course, don't get me wrong. But at least Mondays get the occasional holiday. Like Memorial Day. Everybody loves Memorial Day. Except maybe dead people. But Wednesday? Wednesday is the day of drag. It's the day of the week where you sigh and think, "It's only half over." Unless you're optimistic, in which case yay! The week is half over! With exclamation marks! But I digress.

Back to Wednesday. Wednesday's the day where you have two more days before the weekend and you've already been at work for two days. Middling fair is Wednesday. Even Wednesday isn't happy about its position in the week, and it's not exactly up for promotion until one of the other days retire.

Then comes along me. And I whine and cry and sulk and grumble because I was so depressed by the fact that it's ONLY WEDNESDAY that I decided to eat a whole bag of chips and some soda and a whole carton of ice cream, and darn it, Wednesday, why do you suck so much? And then I go to friends who will nod and commiserate and pat me on the back and agree that Wednesday is such a terrible day and Thursday will be so much better, because it's only 1 day away from the weekend and over half of the weekend is gone by then. (Obviously, this is a made-up story, because it would involve a lot more ice cream, WAY more chocolate, and probably a whole pizza otherwise.)

Meanwhile, Wednesday curls up in the corner it doesn't have and cries its sad little cry because Wednesday is hated, misunderstood, unappreciated, blamed for things it never did to you personally, and it still doesn't know how to spell its own name. Or pronounce it. Kind of like February.

Poor Wednesday.

The next time you have a bad day, take a moment. Pat your calendar. Buy it flowers and chocolate. Draw a flower. Promise it a necklace.

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This extremely useful advice is endorsed by nobody in particular and is not guaranteed to help you lose weight. Unless you do lose weight. Then, I'll take all the credit. :]