I'm not new here.

So, I've been part of MFP for probably going on three ish years now. It has been the reason why I lost the weight I did. This is going to turn into a rant, and I apologize for that now. It's been an rough ride, I'm not going to lie. I've come far, so far that I was 5 pounds from reaching my goal last summer. I was running every other morning, increasing distance and decreasing time each day. The average person would think I was doing good.

Mentally I was unhappy with myself. I felt I looked as fat as I did 30+ pounds earlier. I think part of that could be attributed to losing two pounds a week I didn't physically see change because I was losing it gradually and healthily. I didn't see a difference and I didn't think anyone else did either. I work(ed) in our University's dining department. My day was spent seeing people eat what they want, as much as they want without consequence. I got jealous. My schedule changed and I worked earlier in the morning, I didn't want to wake up at 4 am just to run. I began working 50+ hours a week. The emotions bottle up and like the typical girl I began eating my feelings.

Summer ended and classes started. I was doing 18 credit hours a week in classes and continued working 32+ hours a week. I got a boyfriend. I didn't have time and didn't take the effort to count my calories. The free time I had was spent on the phone with him and doing homework. I like food, I like to eat, I had a guy who "loved" me. I was content. Gradually or not so gradually, (depending on how you look at it,) I gained 20 pounds back. That's right, I lost 60 pounds between my freshman, sophomore, and junior years, gained a senior 20.

My size ten jeans don't fit anymore and my size 12's are getting too snug. I don't live on campus anymore so I don't need a meal plan and can cook my own food in my own place. The measuring and weighing has recommenced! I have a FGL concert & wedding I'm part of in June. I want to weigh 160's again. I think I'm motivated, I do good for a few days, then I let the feelings over take me again and I binge eat crap. Yes, binge eating is a huge problem for me.
I currently work 52 hours a week and am a part time student. I know if I don't enter my numbers in MFP and just eat healthy food, it just doesn't work. I have no self control and I don't feel full no matter how much I eat. Yes, it's probably a psychological thing.

Why am I writing this post? I need friends. I don't need someone to hold me accountable, I don't need someone to tell me I'm doing a good job. I think both of those things are are something I need to do myself. What I do need is an active newsfeed. People who are going through the same things I am so I don't feel alone. To tell you a little about myself non-weight related- I'm 22, Hockey is my favorite sport, I enjoy eating peanut butter, cookie dough, and binge watching netflix.

If you're willing to assist me in filling my newsfeed, Please feel free to send a request. Enclose a fun message, (because yes, I'm needy .)

Also, to help you know what you're dealing with I've enclosed pictures of me at both my fattest and lightest weights.