Mental Effing Breakdown

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Ok, so, I'm fat, obese, whatever, fact. I obviously have an unhealthy relationship with food. I just ruddy love my food. It makes me happy. I like being full, I hate being hungry. I have dieted a few times, lost weight, put it back on again. I do want to change for life but at the same time if I lose too slowly I get demotivated. The reason I'm posting is I've had a couple of really, really difficult days. The kind of days where you're hungry constantly and can't get full. I haven't gone over my net calories. When I'm on it, I'm ON it. I don't mess about. I don't cheat. I don't over eat. But sometimes, just the odd day, I really feel like I'm I want to just eat everything until I am full to bursting. I was this close >< to thinking "*kitten* it" and going to KFC or Pizza Hut and consuming my weight in food. But instead I had a little cry, went to the gym, had my tea and felt better. Just needed a rant and also to hear how other people cope with this. Would be nice to know I'm not alone!

I'm in the middle of my 4th week. 10lbs lost so far. 42 still to lose.

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  • Liftng4Lis
    Liftng4Lis Posts: 15,150 Member
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    WTG on 10 pounds! Lower the aggressiveness of loss and you get to eat more. Remember, the winner gets to eat the most and still lose.
  • Sued0nim
    Sued0nim Posts: 17,456 Member
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    Drop your weekly goal to 1lb .. walk a little more and eat the extra calories

    if you want to save a few days for a trip to KFC then fine - do it - just log it

    If you make this about willpower and deprivation sooner or later you'll crash and burn

    even if you do crash and burn for a meal - log it and move on - you're human - give yourself that permission - try not to but if you do .. meh .. don't make one bad meal a day of bad eating

  • LeanButNotMean44
    LeanButNotMean44 Posts: 852 Member
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    Liftng4Lis wrote: »
    WTG on 10 pounds! Lower the aggressiveness of loss and you get to eat more. Remember, the winner gets to eat the most and still lose.
    ^^^This^^^

    I can completely relate to how you feel about the foods you love and about sometimes wanting to say "screw it" and just eat like there's no tomorrow.

    It sounds like you are being too restrictive. You CAN still have the foods you love in moderation. It will really help with those cravings and your general mood/attitude.

    Congratulations on the weight you have lost so far. Perhaps plan some rewards (i.e. a new outfit, a manicure/pedicure - whatever does it for you) for every milestone you reach with your weight loss so you can have some positive reinforcement to keep you in the groove?

  • slovie64
    slovie64 Posts: 55 Member
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    I think the choice you made yesterday was fabulous! Way to face the demon and tell him to piss off. You may not have the strength to defeat him everyday, but you saved yourself a ton of useless calories yesterday. Good girl!
  • Revonue
    Revonue Posts: 135 Member
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    I agree with other posters. Remember, weight loss isn't a race! You may also benefit from trying to improve your mental relationship with food and your weight.

    However, great job on staying on track! You should be proud of yourself :).
  • Ellaskat
    Ellaskat Posts: 386 Member
    edited January 2015
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    Love what others are saying here, but maybe you could also rethink how you feel about being hungry. I also used to hate that feeling, until I had the thought, what is so bad about this? Really? I realized I was being pretty silly. I get PMS cramps worse than hunger feelings every month - I don't freak out about that, so why freak out about feeling a little hungry? Also, I like to think that when I'm feeling hungry, I'm getting a boosted calorie burn/deficit. Don't know if that is factual, but it doesn't matter- it's a mind game that Helps me choose to stay a little hungry when I would like to eat a whole cake instead.
    - Finally, deprivation won't work long term. Find a way to build into your weekly calories a few of the 'bad' foods you really love. If you look at my food diary you'll see my cal counts are all over the place. That's because I purposely eat really low on some days, so that I can have 'bad' floss I really love at other points during the week.
  • ana3067
    ana3067 Posts: 5,623 Member
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    Loving food =/= having an unhealthy relationship with it. You've lost more weight in a month than it took me to lose in two months.

    Guess what? I hate being hungry too! As a result, I make sure my goals are reasonable. If I am eating x calories and always hungry, I increase them a bit. If that doesn't help, I take a diet break (now doing weekly or bi-weekly refeeds, which is a different concept that you probably don't need to concern yourself with right now). I also tweaked my approach when it got too much for me to handle - switched from having 3 set meals at x calories each to just eating however much I desire for breakfast and lunch and eating the rest (usually 1000 or so cals) in the evening. I'm now switching from calculating my macros to get my calorie total to simply looking at the calorie total and monitoring my macros to make sure I meed my protein and fat minimums daily or at least weekly. I also don't restrict any food, I make it fit into my day and macros.

    what is your weekly loss goal? How much are you eating? Do you log and eat back at least half of your exercise calories? Having a lower goal (1-1.5lbs/week), eating back those calories, and potentially increasing fats and/or proteins will help with hunger issues.
  • ana3067
    ana3067 Posts: 5,623 Member
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    Ellaskat wrote: »
    Love what others are saying here, but maybe you could also rethink how you feel about being hungry. I also used to hate that feeling, until I had the thought, what is so bad about this? Really? I realized I was being pretty silly. I get PMS cramps worse than hunger feelings every month - I don't freak out about that, so why freak out about feeling a little hungry? Also, I like to think that when I'm feeling hungry, I'm getting a boosted calorie burn/deficit. Don't know if that is factual, but it doesn't matter- it's a mind game that Helps me choose to stay a little hungry when I would like to eat a whole cake instead.
    - Finally, deprivation won't work long term. Find a way to build into your weekly calories a few of the 'bad' foods you really love. If you look at my food diary you'll see my cal counts are all over the place. That's because I purposely eat really low on some days, so that I can have 'bad' floss I really love at other points during the week.

    You shouldn't be hungry when losing weight. Are you hungry when maintaining your weight? Being hungry a bit before your next meal is normal regardless of weight management. Being hungry regularly throughout the day, not so much. No, you are not getting a boosted calorie burn. You are simply avoiding eating at a time when you should be eating. To set a calorie goal so low that someone feels hungry throughout most of the day is just an extremely sad way to go about losing weight.

    PBI you could eat your normal intake daily, +/- 100 cals, and still eat "bad" food within your normal calories. I do it all the time. Although I have no idea how low you've set your goal; having a reasonable goal (0.5-1lb when nearing one's goal weight) makes it that much easier.
  • girlviernes
    girlviernes Posts: 2,402 Member
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    any chance your TOM is coming up? I feel like that a few days beforehand. I usually raise my calorie goal by about 300 kcals on days where I'm very hungry. But I only feel that way 1-2 days out of the month.
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,371 Member
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    Drop your goal to 1 pound a week.

    And I agree, is TOM coming up? I am RAVENOUS the days before mine. Seriously, I always end up eating 3000 or 4000 calories for a few days (although it didn't use to be that bad, been worse the last few months). I've still lost 80 pounds. You can do it. Just make sure to stick to it on days when it's 'easier' and you're not as hungry.
  • smithjl2
    smithjl2 Posts: 19 Member
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    Congratulations on your weight loss! I find myself often having the same problems as you. Food makes me happy, and I have a hard time sticking to a diet when I hate what I'm eating. Yesterday I cheated on my diet, but I made a behavioral change. For the first time ever, I made an honest log of my cheat day so I could see it and not ignore it. It motivated me to try and be better today. Stick to your guns, but don't be too hard on yourself. Best of luck to you!
  • Jruzer
    Jruzer Posts: 3,501 Member
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    Sounds like you are doing fine. I have also struggled with this kind of behavior. I've had days where I've wiped out my weekly deficit in a few hours.

    Keep at it. You can do it. Get back up, forgive yourself, and DON'T STOP.

    PS: This TOM guy sounds like a real jerk... ;)
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,371 Member
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    Jruzer wrote: »

    PS: This TOM guy sounds like a real jerk... ;)

    You have no idea.
  • Burt_Huttz
    Burt_Huttz Posts: 1,612 Member
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    10 pounds in 4 weeks is fast progress. Some of it surely water. I echo the advice here to narrow your deficit - - if you eat too little for too long you will lose control. Better to have a smaller deficit and a more sustainable approach.

    You cannot go quickly all the time. Your weight loss will not be a simple, straight downward line.

    Going over every now and then is okay. It's about patience and average - not strict - consistency. Perhaps you could even plan to incorporate KFC one day - even if you go over by a few hundred that day. Drink a little more water than usual, eat a slightly smaller breakfast, give yourself a bit of a deficit, and then go have some fun. The next day, get back on the beam and walk it.