Ladies over 30 - halfway blues & looking good naked

jenmovies
jenmovies Posts: 346 Member
edited November 10 in Motivation and Support
Ok, this is my first post so please be kind. Every since about age 27, I have struggled with weight. Before that, I was just naturally thin and fit. Lucky! But now, I have lost and gained several times. I am trying so hard now to make a change for good, but I get sad sometimes and mourn the old days when I could eat an entire pizza at midnight and still look amazing in skinny jeans the next day. Logically, I know that time is gone and I'm totally OK with now constantly having to think before I eat. I'm making much better choices, and I work out about five times per week.

Now, I've been working on this for about four months. I'm 5'2", female and 35 years old. I've lost about half of my intended weight (YAY!) but I still have a long way to go. Most of this is toning, and I'm not TOO fussed about weight. So long as I look and feel good, and fit into the size clothing I want, I'll be happy. (A modest and healthy size 10 Australian)

Here's the issue: I'm feeling flat, and like the end goal is SO FAR away. I've started to feel discouraged. Even with doing the usual (mostly looking at the Success Stories forum on MFP - you all are SO INCREDIBLE), I can't seem to feel positive. I feel old, ugly and fat. Part of this is due to dating a younger guy who looks freaking fantastic - gorgeous skin, fit and toned body. (Again, lucky, not complaining, so happy!)

What I want to know is:

1. Do I have any hope of toning my gross legs (particularly the back, upper thighs), flabby stomach (I have had no children) and lunch lady arms? (Would love pics from ladies over 30 who have achieved this, with a timeline) Seriously, my legs look like I'm 65 not 35, and I feel SO unsexy. :(
2. Is it really hard work forever to maintain? Am I looking at five days a week at the gym, for the rest of my life? If so, I just want to be prepared. (At present, this feels like a jail sentence! And a punishment...)

Please help me get into the right mindset, and on to my next phase so I don't give up!

I need to lose another 10-13 kilos and I'm trying to do it by the time I have a wedding in mid March. (I'm in the bridal party.) But most importantly, I want my boyfriend to have the best possible version of me. I want to be that version for myself too. I want to stay that way.

Thank you all in advance. I love this positive, supportive and uplifting community!!! So many of you have helped me, and informed me, without you even knowing it. <3

Replies

  • dramaqueen45
    dramaqueen45 Posts: 1,009 Member
    Do you lift weights? If not you need to start if you want to get toned. You can do that by going to the gym 3 days per week- give yourself a day in between for your muscles to rest. If you're unsure where to start meet with a trainer at the gym. There are a lot of different lifting programs you can do. I know some people like to do arms one day and legs the next. I'm doing arms and legs the same day (lighter weights) and after a few months I might change it up a bit.

    The other thing is - find an exercise that you LOVE to do and better yet find someone who loves to do it with you- maybe that younger guy you're dating will want to work out with you? It doesn't have to be the treadmill or elliptical (boring) but can be anything that gets you moving- racquetball, tennis, basketball, cycling, walking, running, zumba dance, the sky is the limit! I have started cycling (got a recumbent trike last spring) and I'm up to doing 20 mile rides. It is fun and doesn't feel like exercising (most of the time). But my husband has a recumbent bike and we go together a lot.
  • barbarab1001
    barbarab1001 Posts: 3 Member
    edited January 2015
    You should really start by being kinder to yourself, and see it as a long term project. I was flabby and out of shape too just last august and I am 40 years old. Ive lost 16 pounds and gained some muscles.You can look at my pics, Ive achieved this in six months. Mainly with working out at home and especially with weightlifting. Dont punish yourself for being out of shape, and see it as a nice goal to eat healthier and start working out. In six months you will see a big difference. In the meanwhile be kind to yourself :-) Btw if you gain more muscle mass you need more calories so you can eat more pizza's too :-) I work out about 3 to 4 hours a week, last week I also thought I looked old and ugly but by doing nothing and order another pizza you can be sure thats going to be reality .Good luck!
  • jenmovies
    jenmovies Posts: 346 Member
    dramaqueen45 wrote: »
    Do you lift weights?...
    Thank you! This is really good advice. I was thinking of adding in more weightlifting from this very week! What do you do? How did you get started? How long did it take you to firm things up? Thanks for replying!
  • jenmovies
    jenmovies Posts: 346 Member
    barbarab1001 wrote: »
    You should really start by being kinder to yourself...
    Lady, you made me tear up. What a nice comment! I do know I need to be kinder, I just cringe at my reflection. I used to feel way more confident, even when heavier, because my thighs were smooth and my tummy just had a cute bump. Now everything is uneven, saggy, lumpy, just wrong. I can see all the improvements I've made already, I guess I was just feeling like I am doing SO much with these tiny weekly improvements. It's that feeling of climbing say 1/8th of a really tall mountain - in one way you think, wow look how hard I worked and how far I have come. There is a rad view from here! Then you look up and just want to go back down. I'm trying not to go back down. This really did help me, and I feel a lot better already! THANK YOU Barbara!

  • jenmovies
    jenmovies Posts: 346 Member
    edited January 2015
    Here is a pic for reference. I like to use humour to make myself feel less down about the state of things, so please ignore the wording on it! It's not meant to shame anyone else! This was taken on New Year's Eve 2014 (so 21 days ago)

    aec4bbaf0c689cefa246757e1601ac443bef.jpg
  • jemhh
    jemhh Posts: 14,261 Member
    You can do it! I don't have many pictures up but you can see my pics in my profile and I have the url for my success thread too. I'm 38 and was feeling pretty down about my age and condition last year too but made huge strides over the year. You can do it too!
  • carlyp79
    carlyp79 Posts: 95 Member
    Hmmm, I had this issue last year. Lost 12kg in 6mths and ran out of steam (plus I got the flu, Husband diagnosed with chronic illness, I ave 2yo twins)...
    I just gave up. Put 8kg back on in 4 months!
    I'm 35 and my husband is 40, but he's in pretty good shape. I am squishy, very squishy, with 20kg to lose. Am trying to find the will to start logging again.... I already created a new profile to start from scratch.
    Following with interest!
  • azulvioleta6
    azulvioleta6 Posts: 4,195 Member
    It sounds like you need to lift weights. I'm older than you are and my legs look like they belong on an 18-year-old dancer. My arms are good too. Everything in between, not so much!

    I've pretty much always dated people who were MUCH more physically attractive than I am. I'm not sure how it is that it keeps happening as I really don't care much about looks. All you can do is relax and try to get comfortable with it. You must have lots of great attributes that don't have anything to do with looks, so focus on those.

    You look fine to me...I agree that being a bit kinder to yourself is probably in order.
  • 7elizamae
    7elizamae Posts: 758 Member
    First of all, you aren't old! And you can absolutely tone up -- no secret to that. Strength training!

    People on MFP probably think I'm some kind of paid promoter for Jillian Michaels, but I'm really just very pleased with my results from her programs.

    I'm 46, sister, so if I can tone up, so can sweet-young-things like you. If you really want to go for it, try her 90 Day Body Revolution. If you follow the exercise plan you will not be disappointed. If you're a little reluctant, try Ripped in 30.

    I had cellulite, flappy arms, and a mushy behind. I only had a few pounds to lose, but I was weak and flabby. I am now so happy with my once-flabby-cellulite-ridden thighs. I thought I was just stuck with the flab, but now I have muscular legs and arms and they look really good!! I wouldn't have believed my body would look like this.

    Go for it! You wont regret it.

    (And as far as looking good naked...I think it's more what you DO naked than precisely how it all looks. ;) )
  • jenmovies
    jenmovies Posts: 346 Member
    jemhh wrote: »
    You can do it!...
    This is awesome! Thank you!

  • jenmovies
    jenmovies Posts: 346 Member
    carlyp79 wrote: »
    Hmmm, I had this issue last year...
    Oh wow, I also did this last year and SAME THING though my excuse was a breakup. I am happy to post some updates here if you like? I think we can do this! I have changed my eating habits drastically, but trying to learn more about nutrition and toning. Thank you!

  • jenmovies
    jenmovies Posts: 346 Member
    azulvioleta6 wrote: »
    It sounds like you need to lift weights... You look fine to me...I agree that being a bit kinder to yourself is probably in order.
    My friends say the latter, and I am starting to lift soon. I appreciate your reply. I want your legs! :smiley:

  • jenmovies
    jenmovies Posts: 346 Member
    7elizamae wrote: »
    First of all, you aren't old! And you can absolutely tone up -- no secret to that. Strength training!...
    You're sassy! I like that! And your age factor really gives me hope. You know what, you aren't the only one to suggest JM in forums. I will look into it, as I do enjoy working out at home. Congrats on the success too!

  • jenmovies
    jenmovies Posts: 346 Member
    7elizamae wrote: »
    First of all, you aren't old! And you can absolutely tone up -- no secret to that. Strength training!...
    You're sassy! I like that! And your age factor really gives me hope. You know what, you aren't the only one to suggest JM in forums. I will look into it, as I do enjoy working out at home. Congrats on the success too!
  • jenmovies
    jenmovies Posts: 346 Member
    edited January 2015
    Am commenting on this again in the hopes that someone else will see it. Only lost .4 kilo since I posted this. Argh!
  • jenmovies
    jenmovies Posts: 346 Member
    Thank you! I just began weights then injured myself moving a box! haha I hope to be back to it next week. :smile:
  • jenmovies
    jenmovies Posts: 346 Member
    Also congrats on your amazing efforts! 114ish is my goal!!!
  • Kristy5225
    Kristy5225 Posts: 14 Member
    Feel free to friend me. I am a 40 year old mum also in Australia (NSW). I have been doing this for about 4 months and although I am near my goal I really need to get rid of the mummy tummy. Toning is totally foreign to me. Would love to do this with you
  • Lounmoun
    Lounmoun Posts: 8,423 Member
    jenmovies wrote: »
    Ok, this is my first post so please be kind. Every since about age 27, I have struggled with weight. Before that, I was just naturally thin and fit. Lucky! But now, I have lost and gained several times. I am trying so hard now to make a change for good, but I get sad sometimes and mourn the old days when I could eat an entire pizza at midnight and still look amazing in skinny jeans the next day. Logically, I know that time is gone and I'm totally OK with now constantly having to think before I eat. I'm making much better choices, and I work out about five times per week.

    Now, I've been working on this for about four months. I'm 5'2", female and 35 years old. I've lost about half of my intended weight (YAY!) but I still have a long way to go. Most of this is toning, and I'm not TOO fussed about weight. So long as I look and feel good, and fit into the size clothing I want, I'll be happy. (A modest and healthy size 10 Australian)

    Here's the issue: I'm feeling flat, and like the end goal is SO FAR away. I've started to feel discouraged. Even with doing the usual (mostly looking at the Success Stories forum on MFP - you all are SO INCREDIBLE), I can't seem to feel positive. I feel old, ugly and fat. Part of this is due to dating a younger guy who looks freaking fantastic - gorgeous skin, fit and toned body. (Again, lucky, not complaining, so happy!)

    What I want to know is:

    1. Do I have any hope of toning my gross legs (particularly the back, upper thighs), flabby stomach (I have had no children) and lunch lady arms? (Would love pics from ladies over 30 who have achieved this, with a timeline) Seriously, my legs look like I'm 65 not 35, and I feel SO unsexy. :(
    2. Is it really hard work forever to maintain? Am I looking at five days a week at the gym, for the rest of my life? If so, I just want to be prepared. (At present, this feels like a jail sentence! And a punishment...)

    Please help me get into the right mindset, and on to my next phase so I don't give up!

    I need to lose another 10-13 kilos and I'm trying to do it by the time I have a wedding in mid March. (I'm in the bridal party.) But most importantly, I want my boyfriend to have the best possible version of me. I want to be that version for myself too. I want to stay that way.

    Thank you all in advance. I love this positive, supportive and uplifting community!!! So many of you have helped me, and informed me, without you even knowing it. <3

    40 year old married 15 years to a man 6 years younger. I gained 50 pounds or so after we got married. Dh lost some weight this year before I did. He never looked fat though. At the same weight I looked pretty fat.
    How long have you been dating this younger guy? I remember being a bit insecure when our relationship was new because I was the older one. Time kind of sorted that out.
    I'm almost halfway to my original goal and carried most of my weight in my upper body so I can't answer a lot of your questions. A lot of my goal is to be fitter and healthier so not really worried about appearance so much. I do feel better about my appearance though.
  • jenmovies
    jenmovies Posts: 346 Member
    Cool, well done! Only been dating since December but have known him a while. Thanks for the reply!
  • KerryAnderson1992
    KerryAnderson1992 Posts: 1
    Have you been doing any squats? I've been doing the elliptical trainer and jogging for my cardio, then doing a ton of squats. In the last few months I've noticed a huge difference in my upper legs and butt.
  • jenmovies
    jenmovies Posts: 346 Member
    KerryAnderson1992 wrote: »
    Have you been doing any squats? I've been doing the elliptical trainer and jogging for my cardio, then doing a ton of squats. In the last few months I've noticed a huge difference in my upper legs and butt.
    Thanks Kerry! I do squats every day, and recently added in kettlebell for weight. (I just hold it to my chest while I squat.) I have noticed a difference already, but I do need to do a lot more. I usually just do 3 sets of 10 per day, but I am trying to add in more weight at the gym. Currently dealing with a back injury so taking it easy this week. I definitely appreciate your comment! Thank you!

  • jenmovies
    jenmovies Posts: 346 Member
    Update for anyone following: I am feeling a bit better, started losing again thanks to lifting heavier weights and drinking protein. I appreciate all of your lovely advice, thank you! (*)
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