Heartbroken n losing weight.. HELP

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LAWNYBEE
LAWNYBEE Posts: 46 Member
in Motivation and Support
Ok, so my perfect man isn't so perfect, he's been cheating on me and I love him, so like an idiot I've chosen to try and forgive him, however it's opened a can of worms for me now and I just feel so ugly, n fat n unattractive, I'm eating as 'right' as I can, but some days I just don't want to eat.

Basically he was seeing his receptionist at work from Oct 14 to Xmas 14. It's all over now, but it's me that's hurting so bad - please help me keep focused and motivated . I found out 2 weeks ago, my head is a mess, I feel so yuk it's untrue, please help me stay motivated for the right reasons. xx thanks all xx

Replies

  • robyn1110
    robyn1110 Posts: 5 Member
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    Yuck...sounds like you deserve way better. I would commit to yourself and commit to loving and taking care of yourself!
  • bettybing1
    bettybing1 Posts: 162 Member
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    I agree with robyn1110. Keep doing this for you. Use this as a way to care for yourself and a way to build yourself up from the crappy situation. Don't punish yourself, you deserve better than that.
    On the other hand, if you put the dieting aside for a while don't feel bad about it. You need to be happy and healthy body, heart, and mind. If putting aside this to focus on your relationship helps, do that.
    Good luck.
  • mzbek24
    mzbek24 Posts: 436 Member
    edited January 2015
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    Yes, definitely use it to fuel your journey but keep going because you want to be the best YOU can look and feel for you. At the end of the day, sometimes leaving is easier than staying, though it doesn't seem like that! You're an incredibly strong lady for choosing to stay and forgive him-I could never ever do that, but in a similar sense, my weight loss journey started a year ago when my partner was looking at every other woman going past and when I said something, he finally said he wasn't attracted to me as he used to be. It shattered me as well, I couldn't function and was so insecure.

    I can't even imagine what you're going through trying to keep it all together and still improve yourself at the same time...but definitely, I think connecting with others on here, logging every day and putting your thoughts in to every day like each day is it's own challenge and creating a goal to smash for every day helps.

    Even though my situation was nowhere near as bad as yours, that's what got me through, as well as some counselling and I considered meds for depression, there were some really hard times. But eventually, the journey became more about what I wanted to achieve for myself, and my own goals, not just trying to get him to change his mind about me. Our relationship improved and he showed a renewed interest as I got smaller, but I realised-and I think you should take this view too, that at the end of the day, if I managed to change myself for the better and it didn't improve upon our relationship or how he saw me, I would be better off either way, because I'd be healthier, stronger, more confident, and not to mention looking fitter and in much better stead to attract another guy someday down the track, so there's not as much to lose that way if it turns out it isn't meant to be...perhaps there's another guy out there who will be better for you :)
  • TinaGA2015
    TinaGA2015 Posts: 83 Member
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    Put yourself first, you deserve better
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,371 Member
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    1) you're beautiful
    2) dump him. He doesn't deserve you. Lose weight for YOU. If he really loved you, your weight would not matter one bit.
  • fightlikeabrave
    fightlikeabrave Posts: 4 Member
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    In your head get tough, dig deep, and fight. Fight the negativity, fight the doubt, fight the sadness and know you are strong.
  • anarchysbitch
    anarchysbitch Posts: 64 Member
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    He's an asswhore, shed 100+ lbs instantly and drop his *kitten*!
  • cindagrif
    cindagrif Posts: 60 Member
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    As a older, hopefully now a wiser woman. I have been there. Sorry to say but once a cheater, always a cheater. For yourself you need to move on to a better place.
  • gramarye
    gramarye Posts: 586 Member
    edited January 2015
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    If you're really going to stay, I'd think couple's counselling, minimum. Losing weight won't make you feel any less hurt, betrayed, or unattractive is those feelings are coming from an external source in your life. (And if they're internal and not being forced on you from his behavior/words/etc, they need to be just as addressed as the external forces. I can tell you this from experience.)

    However, really think about if you want to stay. I was cheated on (and cheated, long story) and it's hard to get over that resentment. I'm a million times happier after leaving and being able to focus on myself, though that's easy to say 2 years after the fact. And my ex is a good guy and we get along fine now that we're divorced, but *kitten*, sometimes I still resent him for it.

    Resent. It's probably the worst thing for a relationship.

    Edited to add: And you do deserve better, if I didn't make that clear. Everyone makes mistakes, yes, but that doesn't mean you have to forgive them it.

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