Discouraged and could use some support

kmp327
kmp327 Posts: 97 Member
edited November 11 in Motivation and Support
Feeling really discouraged. Just completed Chalean Extreme and while I was doing it, I felt like I was getting really strong and thought I was losing weight. I don't weigh myself, but I measure and take pictures. I just compared my 0 and 90 day pics and I see BARELY any difference, and the numbers are like an inch there or a half inch there. I run on the days I don't lift, I count every calorie, I push myself through EVERY workout and still I see no changes. True, I don't starve myself, and I do eat carbs although I largely avoid processed stuff and most of my carbs are from fruits and veggies). But how is it possible that I still can't shed this weight? The worst thing is, all the advice out there is conflicting. Just take a look at the forums. Some say it's just calories in, calories out; some say it's paleo or you're screwed (sorry, not for me. I have my mental health to consider). Some say you have to eat a lot more than what I'm eating; some say you have to eat a lot less. Some say run, run, run; some say lift, lift, lift. I'm tired of it. I want some kind of chip that can read my body and biochemistry and tell me exactly what I need to achieve my goals. End of depressing rant. Could use some support. :-/

Replies

  • AliceDark
    AliceDark Posts: 3,886 Member
    Well, losing inches is good, and it happens slowly. Exercise is good, but it all comes down to calories in/calories out.
  • sarah230283
    sarah230283 Posts: 6
    Hello!

    I'm really feeling like this today. I just managed to eat 2 packets of biscuits after a real binge. I genuinely weighed myself and burst into tears.

    I've managed to pull myself together because I know that tomorrow, I'll start again.

    You can genuinely do this. Don't beat yourself up about it; you are moving forward and you just need to keep going before you start visibly seeing the difference! That's the problem with weight loss for me; I don't see a difference and so I give in. But we can do it!
  • kmp327
    kmp327 Posts: 97 Member
    sarah230283 wrote: »
    Hello!

    I'm really feeling like this today. I just managed to eat 2 packets of biscuits after a real binge. I genuinely weighed myself and burst into tears.

    I've managed to pull myself together because I know that tomorrow, I'll start again.

    You can genuinely do this. Don't beat yourself up about it; you are moving forward and you just need to keep going before you start visibly seeing the difference! That's the problem with weight loss for me; I don't see a difference and so I give in. But we can do it!

    Thank you Sarah. I hope today is a better day for both of us. The most important thing is how we feel about ourselves, not some number on the scale. I have made huge strides when it comes to the psychological aspects of eating. A few years ago (maybe even one year ago), I would also have binged in reaction to feeling like I didn't meet my goals, but now I don't. Therapy helped with this a lot. Now if only I could stop doing the beating myself up part, I'd be golden :wink:

  • cathipa
    cathipa Posts: 2,991 Member
    Great job for completing CE! Now time to plan your next activity goal :) As far as losing you have lost inches and I'm sure you have gained aerobic stamina that you didn't have at day 0. As far as your diet are you eating enough? Have you figured out your BMR and TDEE? Are you being truthful with your logging? Meaning do you weigh your food and log everything? I've been there before when I've said I am logging, but eyeballing and taking MFP "servings" for face value never realizing I was completely off.

    Weight loss is hard, but keep going! You have accomplished something and don't let the scale dictate your success!
  • bigd66218
    bigd66218 Posts: 376 Member
    It is difficult and a struggle losing weight. My whole life from my teen years I have dealt with poor self esteem issues. I wasn't comfortable in my own shell. You don't need a chip ..even if you seen a small improvement you accomplished a major goal. I have lost weight and I wish I could lose more inches. Don't give up and quit you will win the war...we are all in this together. :)
  • Kerrieann66
    Kerrieann66 Posts: 8 Member
    I feel for you!! I am in the same place. At the end of the week, if I don't see the scale budge (anywhere but up...) I ask myself - "What's the use??" But on the other hand, I may have been worse off. I am healthier by working my butt off, eating well, and not drinking wine (during the week :s) --- but my body chemistry has changed (I will be 49 this May) and it's extremely frustrating!!! I have been to the doctor in hopes that she finds my thyroid is off (no luck!) so now she is trying me on Metformin because my AC1 has been on the higher side, although still in "normal" range. I go to Weight Watchers - the weekly meetings help keep me motivated, but my weight has not changed since last May!!! I finally am getting rid of the "skinny clothes" that I have been hanging on to for the last 5 years. I figure I will by myself a new wardrobe if I can lose these 30 lbs. I have put on!!! Now I'm going to try to stick to journaling my food in FitnessPal (it's easier than points in WW) and try posting... something has to work!!! Hang in there, you are not alone! But giving up will only be worse!!!
  • jgnatca
    jgnatca Posts: 14,464 Member
    I suggest cutting through the conflicting advice by picking something to try, change something up for a couple weeks, and re-evaluate. This is what I blogged about habit change.
    1. If what I am doing isn't working, change it up.
    2. Guilt and beating myself up are wasted emotions. If I can't love myself through this, who is going to stick up for me, failings and all?
    3. Learn to troubleshoot, set weekly goals and re-evaluate (guilt-free change management) from the Stanford University Chronic Disease Self Management Course
    4. Lifestyle change (the only weight loss and management that works) is habit change.
    5. Habit change is gradual, almost invisible.
    6. Do what I enjoy, so I look forward to every day.

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/jgnatca/view/it-s-all-about-habit-change-715479

    I've lost 89 pounds in eighteen months and typically I am through a four week cycle before I see a weight loss. I sustained my good habits until the body responded to my efforts.

    I think sometimes people think if they give more effort, they will see faster weight loss. I think it is more like sustained effort brings results...eventually. Yes, it is hard to stay motivated when the scale doesn't seem to moving. But I bet you are seeing strength and mobility gains!
  • sofaking6
    sofaking6 Posts: 4,589 Member
    Strength is great, so you have at least partial success to celebrate! If you didn't lose weight while doing that much exercise, I have to believe that your are either underestimating your intake or overestimating your burn, or maybe a bit of both. How do you come by the numbers to log for your calories in/out?
  • john062
    john062 Posts: 38 Member
    kmp327 wrote: »
    "I felt like I was getting really strong and thought I was losing weight.

    You felt better! That's motivation enough to keep going.
    It takes time, nothing happens over night for the Good or the Bad.
  • dopeysmelly
    dopeysmelly Posts: 1,390 Member
    You say you don't see any changes. Well, some people don't see the physical changes. I've lost 70 lbs and my mind's eye tells me I'm the same and it doesn't matter if I take photos, try on clothes. Nope, I look down and still think I'm the same size.

    And honestly, if you want to know if you are losing weight, then weighing yourself will tell you that. Combine that with taking measurements and seeing how easy/tough it is to lift something heavy (or some other physical challenge) and you've got a few different ways to measure progress right there.
  • FitGeekery
    FitGeekery Posts: 336 Member
    Firstly, be proud that you completed that program! That's something you've achieved that no one can take away from you. But I understand the confusion and perception of conflicting info.

    Some info you could provide to help people help you:

    - Height
    - Weight
    - Amt you want to lose
    - What is your current daily intake?
    - Do you accurately measure/log your food?
    - Do you know your BMR?
    - Do you know your TDEE?

    The most basic concept of weight loss = calories in/calories out aka eat less than you burn. From here you can make it as simple or complicated as you want.

    Some people prefer to adopt Paleo or Vegetarian or Low-Carb or 5:2 etc. for personal or medical reasons. Some prefer to focus on portion control vs. eliminating any particular kinds of food. There isn't a 'one size fits all' solution.

    I prefer calculating my TDEE and reducing it by 10/15/20% (depending on what will be a steady weight loss). Having a fixed calorie goal and not worrying about logging exercise makes things simpler for me which I like. And while I prefer to eat healthy more of the time, I'm happy to have a cookie or slice of pizza if the urge comes, I just make sure it fits my calories. That's what works for -me-.

    So what do you think would work for -you-? Do you like the idea of 'earning' extra cals to eat through exercise? Do you prefer a fixed number? Do you want/need to avoid any specific foods? Are you focused only on weight loss or do you want to couple it with extra health/fitness benefits?

    You don't have to answer here and it's not meant to overwhelm you, but to remind you that it's your life to live and enjoy, and the choices are yours to make. You're in the driver's seat :) And if you're not sure? Start simple. Determine your daily calories. Eat what you want as long as it fits your cals. As you get used to it, tweak from there.

    As to why you aren't seeing much progress, the usual culprit is only measuring success one way. As another poster said, try and pull back to see the big picture. Weight lost, inches lost, clothes fitting differently, improvements in energy, mood, skin, there are so many more ways to look at this. The second is eating more/burning less than you think. Being specific in logging and accurate in measuring is often something that takes time to get used to.

    Weight loss isn't a straight line, and it takes time to learn and understand your body and yourself, so try to be more forgiving and understanding with yourself. You stuck with a program for 90 days, again that's AWESOME! You proved you have the drive and determination to see it through, continue building on the skills you've gained, find new ways to improve and have fun on this journey. Trust yourself and be self-aware, decide over time what you want and what works best, and keep up the hard work!

    The results will follow :)
  • addy2261
    addy2261 Posts: 8 Member
    Don't get discouraged! It takes time and hard work. I went on a working out hiatus and spent all of the past 6 months eating and laying in bed. I gained AT LEAST 10 lbs and felt so crappy physically and mentally. I would give up on working out because I didn't see the changes as quickly as I wanted but finally (about two weeks ago) I put a stop to this and just did it not to look good but to feel good (looking better was an added bonus) and to be able to focus better since I am working and going to school full time.

    I stopped eating as much and snacking at night and eating just to eat. I also started working out. I work out every day (if i get a chance) and if I can't for a day or two it's no biggy because I need rest days anyway! You also don't want to make your workout goals, like time spent working out and amount of days, unrealistic for you to keep up with because you are setting yourself up for failure. It's only been two weeks and I already see changes. Not huge YET (too soon) but I see the changes and I feel so much better.

    Don't fixate so much on what you looks like. Focus on wanting to be healthy and adding exercise and conscious eating to your lifestyle, reasonably and realistically, without it turning into your enemy.

    You can do it!

    Good luck
  • redheaddee
    redheaddee Posts: 2,005 Member
    I'm guessing it is food related, but your diary is not open so who knows.
  • thingal12
    thingal12 Posts: 302 Member
    edited February 2015
    If you've truthfully given it 90 full days and haven't seen any results, it's time to re-evaluate what you're doing. Either the numbers are wrong, or your hormones (even Thyroid) is to blame.
  • OGJake12
    OGJake12 Posts: 186 Member
    Add me if you'd like. I've had a ton of plateaus like this in my progress. I've learned a lot of different things that can cause this.
  • JAT74
    JAT74 Posts: 1,081 Member
    I was in your position a couple of years ago. I listened to so much conflicting advice on MFP and elsewhere and didn't know what to do for the best. Although I initially lost around 3lbs, I had months with no loss at all and I was doing Jillian Michaels body revolution for the first time.

    At the end of the 90 days there was hardly any change, except the initial loss of water weight in my first week and I was really discouraged. I did feel stronger but I didn't lose more than an inch or so and it felt like it was all for nothing.

    I eventually started eating less and really watching my calorie intake, weighing and measuring everything and I started to lose weight slowly. After 7 months I finally managed to get 10lbs off but then I had a set-back and I couldn't exercise for over 8 months and it all went out the window, I piled back on the weight I'd initially lost.

    I had another go at the beginning of last year but it was really hard as I still couldn't exercise much and I felt like I couldn't go through it again so I didn't really commit to it and my weight stayed the same.

    Now I'm back and more determined than ever as I hit 40 last September and I'm sick of feeling bad about my body. I live in a hot climate for the majority of the year and refuse to go through another summer feeling self-conscious about the way I look.

    This time round I've started the way I mean to go on, I've committed to sticking to lower calories and doing things they way I know will work as that's the only way I've every been able to lose weight in the past. I'm eating 1200-1300 calories per day and NOT eating back exercise calories. I've re-started Body Revolution and after 1 month I have already started losing inches and have lost 6 lbs in weight.

    Do what you think is right for you and don't let anyone else tell you you're wrong.
  • kmp327
    kmp327 Posts: 97 Member
    Hi all, thanks so much for the encouraging words. I think it's really a matter of me being too hard on myself, too critical, and too IMPATIENT. I have lost some inches but not all over, and not as much as my goal was for the end of the program. I have been working out consistently for YEARs, and with the CE I didn't eat back my calories. I logged the exercise and accepted whatever MFP wanted to put as my calories but didn't eat them back. With each month, as the program got harder and I started lifting more (and in accordance with the nutrition plan that comes with CE), I increased my calories by 100 or 200/day.

    I think the most important thing is that i need to be patient and kind with myself. I already know I will work out card and that I will log faithfully (I definitely do, sometimes I overestimate my calories even just to be safe). I just have to accept that it will take a little longer than I may like. But this is already my lifestyle, and it's sustainable, and that's the most important thing, because it will mean the end results will be permanent.

    Thanks again everyone!
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