"I"ll just start tomorrow" mentality

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I've been trying to lose a significant amount of weight since January 1st, 2012, and though I've had one successful cut about a year ago losing 30 pounds (which I have regained), every other time I've failed after a few days. I just end up eating a lot of food after a few days. I always tell myself I'll officially start my weight loss regime tomorrow, or next week, or the 1st of next month, etc. Then I'll fail after a few days, and I repeat the cycle.

I want to lose weight more than anything, but I lack self-control and discipline. It's really pathetic.

I know I'm not the only one with this problem, and I know many people have overcome this mentality. How did you keep your willpower strong?

Replies

  • Delilahhhhhh
    Delilahhhhhh Posts: 477 Member
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    This is one of my favourite threads - I hope it helps you.

    Don't start tomorrow. I spent 10 years starting tomorrow. Start today.

    http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10040017/thinking-of-starting-today-you-might-want-to-check-this-out-pics-inside/p1
  • Sabine_Stroehm
    Sabine_Stroehm Posts: 19,263 Member
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    This is one of my favourite threads - I hope it helps you.

    Don't start tomorrow. I spent 10 years starting tomorrow. Start today.

    http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10040017/thinking-of-starting-today-you-might-want-to-check-this-out-pics-inside/p1

    I was just going to look for this thread. THIS is brilliant.
  • giantrobot_powerlifting
    giantrobot_powerlifting Posts: 2,598 Member
    edited February 2015
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    Zurgortax4 wrote: »
    I've been trying to lose a significant amount of weight since January 1st, 2012, and though I've had one successful cut about a year ago losing 30 pounds (which I have regained), every other time I've failed after a few days. I just end up eating a lot of food after a few days. I always tell myself I'll officially start my weight loss regime tomorrow, or next week, or the 1st of next month, etc. Then I'll fail after a few days, and I repeat the cycle.

    I want to lose weight more than anything, but I lack self-control and discipline. It's really pathetic.

    I know I'm not the only one with this problem, and I know many people have overcome this mentality. How did you keep your willpower strong?
    You can't expect yourself just wake up one day and "just do it." (What a good tagline, I hope no one is using it.) You have to ease into it. Getting back to my fitness, I took it slow. Got in the gym: check. (First two days a week, then four. First dumbbells/bodyweight for the first 3 months, then barbell afterward.) Eating: Make sure I got three well balanced in and tried to stay under my TDEE, but didn't always at first. Big deal, I kept going. Water? Trying drinking 8 in day if you haven't done it in a long time, or ever you are in for a shock. I had to increase that slowly over two weeks.

    If you have an-all-or-nothing approach, you will never make any progress. Take it day by day, and make small improvements where you can - it will add up.
  • goldthistime
    goldthistime Posts: 3,214 Member
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    Previously, when I dieted, I was strict with myself. I made things happen quickly, dammit. So I had to wait until "conditions were right" to begin a diet. Recently I got onto MFP and just started logging and trying to eat a little more protein and more vegetables, with next to no calorie deficit. There's so much less risk "dieting" this way. It's coming off (slowly, but that's fine when I'm not suffering for the cause) and the chances of my deciding that "I'm just not up to it, I have too much going on right now" are very low.
  • KCoolBeanz
    KCoolBeanz Posts: 813 Member
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    I disagree somewhat- you most certainly can wake up one day and be tired enough of feeling like garbage that you decide to take control of your own situation and make it better for yourself. That said, I also do agree with you that easing in and making small changes in the beginning is the way to go - it's how you foster sustainable healthy habits.
  • Qorvus
    Qorvus Posts: 13 Member
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    My determination flows from my motivation. Before I started losing the weight I had severe muscle pain, fatigue and mental fogs. Some evenings I couldn't get up off the couch or even walk up a flight of stairs. I wasn't able to take my daughter to dance one evening and that was the final straw for me.

    I've lost almost 20 pounds now over the past month and my pain and fatigue has disappeared. Whenever I feel like I might have a "bad" day, I think to how I used to feel and the impact that was having on the lives of my children, and that gives me the resolve to carry on. If I feel this much better after 20 pounds, how will I feel after another 20 pounds? I'm excited to find out.
  • mrsburghart
    mrsburghart Posts: 166 Member
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    This happens to so many people, and for me its proceeded by the "last supper" where you eat everything you aren't going to allow yourself for the next however long, just to wake up and not "start." I think I gained more by trying to start my diet then by just eating like I normally would.

    If you drastically change your lifestyle in a matter of days, something has to give, and usually it ends up with chocolate cake all over your face and another "I'll start tomorrow." Small changes work best for some people, and not cutting out what you love. I still have chocolate (I would die without it I fear), but I'm not driven by it. I know that I can have it, so I'm not prone to craving it (or thinking that I crave it).
  • astrose00
    astrose00 Posts: 754 Member
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    This happens to so many people, and for me its proceeded by the "last supper" where you eat everything you aren't going to allow yourself for the next however long, just to wake up and not "start." I think I gained more by trying to start my diet then by just eating like I normally would.

    If you drastically change your lifestyle in a matter of days, something has to give, and usually it ends up with chocolate cake all over your face and another "I'll start tomorrow." Small changes work best for some people, and not cutting out what you love. I still have chocolate (I would die without it I fear), but I'm not driven by it. I know that I can have it, so I'm not prone to craving it (or thinking that I crave it).

    I love that "last supper" analogy. I did that many times.

    OP, I don't struggle with willpower when I'm dieting. I think that's because by the time I realize I need to lose weight I am so angry at myself I just stop cold turkey. That's what works for me but I realize that not everyone is that way. I agree with posters above that said to start slow and just keep going. There are a lot of quotes and sayings on this message board about putting things off until "tomorrow". When I started losing weight in September 2014 I asked my mom if she wanted to join me. She is morbidly obese and has bad knew arthritis. It's really hampered her ability to get around and I think she is not happy. She kind of blew me off and said she wasn't ready. And I know that you have to be ready when you start this because it's a commitment. Fast forward and I lost about 40lbs when she decided that she wanted to lose weight too (around xmas). What was the first things she said when she lost 8lbs in 2 weeks? "I wish I had started when you started because I would be further ahead by now". Lesson learned.

    As an aside, I said I don't struggle with willpower. That's true. And when I have yo-yo'd I wasn't trying not to overeat. See, my problem is I didn't get (until now) that this is FOREVER. But it's not a punishment. It requires a lifestyle change and a lot of soul searching. But what you will get back in return (e.g., health, mobility, confidence, mental and physical strength, etc.) more than make up for what you have to give. Only you can do this for yourself. That's why I didn't push my mom to do it. You have to reach your rock bottom and then commit to change. When I started to lose weight I wasn't worried or nervouse because I knew the success depended on only one person - Me. And as long as I didn't quit, I would reach my goals and say goodbye to pain, GERD, hernias, pills, heavy breathing, sweating like a pig, buying bigger and bigger clothes, avoiding social activities... I hope you can reach the point where you can do the same for yourself.

    Good luck!!!
  • Nottafattie
    Nottafattie Posts: 140 Member
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    I had the same problem. I kept telling myself that life happened and wouldn't take responsibility for my choices. Kept going in strong and burning out after a couple of days, bumming for a few months until I noticed another roll or another pair of pants wouldn't fit before starting the process all over again.

    As of right now, I'm 40 days strong into this round, but I've gone through a major perception change. It takes being truly honest with yourself, asking hard questions, admitting weaknesses and strengths, rethinking the way you've done things before.

    It takes years to build bad habits and bad bodies. It was hard to face it, but realizing that there is no way I'm fixing this overnight helps me fight through the couple of bad days I have instead of giving up when something doesn't seem to work right away.

    I changed want power into will power. I WILL lose the weight, I WILL exercise at least three times a week, I WILL pick myself back up again after I fall and carry on. Saying that I want to lose the weight gives me too much room to give up. Saying I will lose the weight takes away the excuses to fail. I make it my mantra, saying it to myself several times a day.

    I started planning ahead. I log my entire day of meals before I take my first bite. It makes it easier to stick to it if I have something concrete. I plan for the late night munchies, I plan for schedule conflicts that delay meals, I plan each day with the next in mind.

    Finally, I realized that the only way I truly fail is to quit. I would feel so horrible about a bad day or a bad couple of days that I would let that stop me from moving forward at all. Every good choice you make is a step forward and one step closer to a successful you. Be conscious of bad choices, but do not dwell on them. Learn from them and move on. Make your good choices your focus, embrace them so you will continue to live them.

    And don't ever start tomorrow. Always start today. It's not too late because you ate a poor breakfast. That doesn't cancel out any good choices you make for the rest of the day. Pick yourself up and move forward.
  • navyrigger46
    navyrigger46 Posts: 1,301 Member
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    Don't wait till tomorrow, don't wait for lunch, make the decision to start now. Think "Man in The Mirror" by Michael Jackson, "take a look at yourself and make the change." It really is as simple as deciding to just take that first step now. You'll fall off the wagon a couple times over the first month, but before you know it you'll develop the habits to win. If you wait till tomorrow today, you'll do the same tomorrow.

    Rigger