How do you deal with being called too skinny?

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WeaTheRgrlx0x
WeaTheRgrlx0x Posts: 48 Member
in Motivation and Support
Hello, my name is Parthena and I come from a big fat Greek family. My grandmother and my aunt tell me I'm too skinny even though I'm perfect for my height. I gained weight after having my thyroid totally removed for Grave's disease and having finally gotten down to where I need to be. How do you deal with it? I eat enough, I love to walk, which they tell me not to do. I just can't deal with it anymore. What do you do?
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  • Daiako
    Daiako Posts: 12,545 Member
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    I tell them they're too fat.

    Your milage will vary with that.
  • dym123
    dym123 Posts: 1,670 Member
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    I punch them in the neck...oh wait, that's just what I want to do. Mostly, I just smile and nod and keep doing what I'm doing.
  • WeaTheRgrlx0x
    WeaTheRgrlx0x Posts: 48 Member
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    I can't deal with it. I don't make fun of them, they tell me I eat "too little," which is a lie, they don't want me to exercise, which clears my head, tell me to gain weight, so I leave and cry once in a while. I just can't.
  • jennifershoo
    jennifershoo Posts: 3,198 Member
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    Sounds like you need to toughen up and stop letting their opinion affect you that much.
  • AllonsYtotheTardis
    AllonsYtotheTardis Posts: 16,947 Member
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    For real, if they are making you feel that rotten, the next time they say you are too skinny, you should tell them they are too fat.
  • Mrsallen6_11
    Mrsallen6_11 Posts: 416 Member
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    Tell them it's none of their business, even if it is family, and that you're happy with the way you look. It's your choice to be healthy. I would also maybe try to convince them that it would healthier for them if they lost weight. Maybe went on a walk with you every once and a while. They need to see that being healthy is a good thing.
  • DopeItUp
    DopeItUp Posts: 18,771 Member
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    jennifershoo wrote: »
    Sounds like you need to toughen up and stop letting their opinion affect you that much.

    Basically.
  • jms14letgo
    jms14letgo Posts: 138 Member
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    It used to bug the heck out of me when people would say that to me. My coworkers were saying that to me once and told me I didn't need to workout because I'm so skinny. I looked at them and said... "You've never seen me naked, I do need to workout." Now I tell people that I'm not too skinny, I'm healthy, and I flat out tell them that they are upsetting me with what they say. That usually shuts them up.
  • WeaTheRgrlx0x
    WeaTheRgrlx0x Posts: 48 Member
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    If I ever stand up for myself, I get told I'm lying, and I need to stop having an "attitude," but It's perfectly fine for them to say whatever to me, however hurtful.
  • AllOutof_Bubblegum
    AllOutof_Bubblegum Posts: 3,646 Member
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    How I do I deal with it? I blush and say "THANK YOU".

    What's the big deal, here? You gained weight, then you lost it, just like you wanted. Now you want everyone to want the exact same thing you want for yourself, specifically from a group of people with strong ethnic beliefs about how a woman should look, that differ from yours? Wow, some people just want their cake and to eat it, too. Just be happy you are happy with yourself.
  • WeaTheRgrlx0x
    WeaTheRgrlx0x Posts: 48 Member
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    Sorry if that's asking too much, I just want it to stop.
  • yesimpson
    yesimpson Posts: 1,372 Member
    edited February 2015
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    I wouldn't bother arguing with them about it. Just smile, nod, don't say much beyond 'OK' 'alright then', 'if you say so', and let it wash over you. You say you like eating well and walking so keep doing what makes you feel good and IS good for you.
    Just because you're related doesn't mean you have to listen to their opinion.
  • deksgrl
    deksgrl Posts: 7,237 Member
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    Move into your own place and then you don't have to listen to them as much.
  • Codilee87
    Codilee87 Posts: 509 Member
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    When I was told that I would just challenge them to an arm wrestle and win, then tell them that they were too skinny lol
  • Elise4270
    Elise4270 Posts: 8,375 Member
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    That's a tough situation. I'm the skinniest at work and hear the same thing. It is frustrating. Is there a dog in the picture? You could always slip him the oversized portions under the table.
    Otherwise, I'm afraid the only option is to toughen up and take a hard stance. Just by stating " Im happy with my weigh" or "i like my not so large backside" may help dispute any further arguments. It will at least affirm how you feel about yourself.
  • dakotababy
    dakotababy Posts: 2,406 Member
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    Do you live with these people? If you do - move out and start working on creating some boundaries. If you do live on your own or away from them - then start working on creating some boundaries.
  • AllOutof_Bubblegum
    AllOutof_Bubblegum Posts: 3,646 Member
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    WeaTheRgrlx0x wrote: »
    Sorry if that's asking too much, I just want it to stop.

    You want a behavior from a group of people to stop. So what needs to happen to facilitate that? Think critically. We don't know your family, you do. Determine what needs to be done to reach a desired outcome, and then do that.

  • bizarrefish
    bizarrefish Posts: 41 Member
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    WeaTheRgrlx0x wrote: »
    If I ever stand up for myself, I get told I'm lying, and I need to stop having an "attitude," but It's perfectly fine for them to say whatever to me, however hurtful.

    It's perfectly fine by *them*, of course. They are the people doing the criticizing, so they're going to think it's a good idea to criticize, or they wouldn't be doing it.

    You're seeking their approval. Do you really need it? I get it that family could mean a lot to you, but they are people. People disagree with people. It'd be nice if your family didn't disagree with you on this issue, but unless they're threatening you or something, it's not your problem.

    The fact that you have acted in spite of their recommendations and lost the weight (well done, by the way), to me shows clearly how you prioritise yourself higher than their approval. This means that you have already decided who you are going to listen to, and are probably more venting than anything else.
    Venting is fine, but realise that's what you're doing here - this isn't a struggle, because you have already won.
  • junestarrr
    junestarrr Posts: 52 Member
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    dym123 wrote: »
    I punch them in the neck...oh wait, that's just what I want to do. Mostly, I just smile and nod and keep doing what I'm doing.

    :D Me too.

  • BetterThanExpected
    BetterThanExpected Posts: 104 Member
    edited February 2015
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    WeaTheRgrlx0x wrote: »
    If I ever stand up for myself, I get told I'm lying, and I need to stop having an "attitude," but It's perfectly fine for them to say whatever to me, however hurtful.

    Tell them that's it's your body and that you'll do what you like with it, and that they need to mind their own business and worry about themselves. If they tell you you have an "attitude" tell them you'll stop having an attitude once they start minding your own business. You do need to stand up for yourself and let them know that they are crossing boundaries and that it is not okay. I know that it can be really difficult to do that, especially if you're the kind of person who is prone to feeling guilty every time you stand up for yourself, but you DO need to do it. What you allow is what will continue. When they tell you you have an attitude, they're trying to shame you for standing up for yourself. Do NOT let them. It is your body and no one has a right to make you ashamed about it. NO ONE. Not your family, not your friends, not random strangers, not even your significant other. It may take a while for them to catch on and stop harassing you, but if you keep it up, they will eventually realize they need to stfu (hopefully.) Good luck.

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