Helping my husband gain weight
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healthybodyhealthylife
Posts: 189 Member
Hey guys!
I just got married 6 months ago and after the honeymoon, parties and dinner invitations me and my husband are getting back into our normal lives.
My husband is naturally a skinny guy. He has a small appetite and refuses to eat after he is full. He doesn't even have a sweet tooth and hates chocolate (weird, right!?) Problem is it worries me a lot because he works on his feet 10 hours a day as a butcher, which requires a tremendous amount of upper body strength and energy. I worry he doesn't get in enough nutrients and calories. He is 5"11 and weights 65kg (143lbs) but I (and he) would like to get up to at least 70kg.
For breakfast, he always wakes up with 15 minutes to be out the door in so I usually make him a chicken or egg sandwich with dates to have on his walk to work. His lunch is cooked at work which is usually lamb, chicken, beef or fish with pita breads. For dinner I tend to cook curries or rice because he is Pakistani and likes that food and before bed he has a fruit salad. I would assume that his daily caloric intake is about 2000-2500 and based on TDEE calculators, he should be eating above 3000 to MAINTAIN.
Any tips on how I could up his calorie intake? I've mostly been trying to limit my calorie intake so this is such a challenge for me!
I just got married 6 months ago and after the honeymoon, parties and dinner invitations me and my husband are getting back into our normal lives.
My husband is naturally a skinny guy. He has a small appetite and refuses to eat after he is full. He doesn't even have a sweet tooth and hates chocolate (weird, right!?) Problem is it worries me a lot because he works on his feet 10 hours a day as a butcher, which requires a tremendous amount of upper body strength and energy. I worry he doesn't get in enough nutrients and calories. He is 5"11 and weights 65kg (143lbs) but I (and he) would like to get up to at least 70kg.
For breakfast, he always wakes up with 15 minutes to be out the door in so I usually make him a chicken or egg sandwich with dates to have on his walk to work. His lunch is cooked at work which is usually lamb, chicken, beef or fish with pita breads. For dinner I tend to cook curries or rice because he is Pakistani and likes that food and before bed he has a fruit salad. I would assume that his daily caloric intake is about 2000-2500 and based on TDEE calculators, he should be eating above 3000 to MAINTAIN.
Any tips on how I could up his calorie intake? I've mostly been trying to limit my calorie intake so this is such a challenge for me!
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Replies
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Do you bathe and dress him, too?
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My guess is there are some cultural differences here...Do you bathe and dress him, too?
I'm assuming he won't eat snacks at work because he's rather busy (and he'd have to stop work, wash, and then eat the snack). Adding some snacks would help up his intake if he's willing to do so (maybe just pack something easy for him to carry into work like some nuts or nuts/dried fruit combo).
For that matter, you could do the same for his walk into work; some nuts in addition to the dates. You could also add an extra egg to his sandwich in the morning (if it doesn't become too big that it's messy).
And since he stops eating when full, adding in calorie dense food where you can could be a good idea. Fry the egg in oil, use full fat products in the curries. Would he be willing to add some yogurt or something similar to his fruit salad?0 -
Do you bathe and dress him, too?If your husband really wanted to gain weight he would be here asking for advice. Not you.
Well, he works 10 hours a day to pay the bills, rent and to support my studies and I stay at home and study so the least I can do is bother about his meals. Well thats what I expect any caring wife to do
no need for the negative comments
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My guess is there are some cultural differences here...Do you bathe and dress him, too?
I'm assuming he won't eat snacks at work because he's rather busy (and he'd have to stop work, wash, and then eat the snack). Adding some snacks would help up his intake if he's willing to do so (maybe just pack something easy for him to carry into work like some nuts or nuts/dried fruit combo).
For that matter, you could do the same for his walk into work; some nuts in addition to the dates. You could also add an extra egg to his sandwich in the morning (if it doesn't become too big that it's messy).
And since he stops eating when full, adding in calorie dense food where you can could be a good idea. Fry the egg in oil, use full fat products in the curries. Would he be willing to add some yogurt or something similar to his fruit salad?
Thank you
I like the yogurt idea quite a lot, will try tonight 0 -
Sorry but your OP sounds like you are administering to a child. Maybe that's the way I'm reading it **shrug**healthybodyhealthylife wrote: »Do you bathe and dress him, too?If your husband really wanted to gain weight he would be here asking for advice. Not you.
Well, he works 10 hours a day to pay the bills, rent and to support my studies and I stay at home and study so the least I can do is bother about his meals. Well thats what I expect any caring wife to do no need for the negative comments
Good luck.
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My question is what does he want?0
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Yogurt isn't going to cut it unless he eats a crap ton of it a day... since he's eating 500 below maintenance, and wants to gain weight, you're basically tasked with trying to get him to eat an extra 1000 calories more than he is now every single day!
... Can you try having him eat an avocado everyday plus using fattier meats like fattier beef, more lamb, more pork (if he eats pork?)... less fish and chicken. If you do give him chicken, try thighs since they are fattier than breast meat. Use plenty of mayo, more butter, etc. Also, try adding things even like cornstarch and oils to the meals. Maybe whipped cream to his fruit salad and having him drink (whole) milk (preferred, but 2% will do if he finds that gross) several times a day. Peanut butter is great too for added calories. So is cheese! So much cheese... In recipes that call for milk, use heavy cream (unless it's baking since that might mess it up). Also, lots of carbs... ones that are not as filling such as white rice, white pasta (vs. brown), etc.
You could bump up his fruit salad calories too by using high calorie fruits like bananas and mangos (anyone else have suggestions?) Melons and berries tend to be lower in calories.
Fat is the easiest thing to increase in a diet since it's well hidden plus it's 9 calories per gram instead of 4 calories per gram for protein and carbs. More bang for your buck. Try getting him to drink juices and things too. Try adding protein powder to his food/beverages (you'll have to find good recipes though).0 -
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healthybodyhealthylife wrote: »Do you bathe and dress him, too?If your husband really wanted to gain weight he would be here asking for advice. Not you.
Well, he works 10 hours a day to pay the bills, rent and to support my studies and I stay at home and study so the least I can do is bother about his meals. Well thats what I expect any caring wife to do no need for the negative comments
You aren't his mom.
You're his wife. Those two things are not equal jobs.
Just because his busy doesn't mean he can't do anything for himself. Yes- you can be supportive- and yes you can help.
But he isn't' going to do it if the internal motivation is there.
if he wants to know- he can come on here an ask himself.
And that "he's busy and works" isn't enough- it's just an excuse. I am a grown *kitten* woman- work for myself and pay my bills- rent and support my own studies. yes I have a BF- who is invaluable to me- but I do my own research and we come up with a plan that supports- MINE needs- and his.
I figured out how to bulk and cut on my own. He is supportive of this- if he wants to eat a big dinner out- he tells me in advance- don't eat a lot of food that day- because it allows me to plan my day and go out and have a nice dinner without worrying about my calories. Support- not babying.
You can help. But he needs to be involved.
that being said- add olive oil to everything- butter- and keep lots of his favorite candy bars around the house.0 -
Dump a load of ghee in everything. Buy blocks of creamed coconut and melt that into his curries. Sneak in high calorie oils and fat, his diet doesn't need to change. Use fattier meats and fish like salmon and lamb. Butter in the pillau! Double cream in the sauces.......mmmm I'm getting hungry!0
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Does he like ice cream? My neighbour down the street had the same thing with her husband, he's a roofer and had trouble keeping on weight. Then he discovered ice cream in the evenings after dinner. Worked a charm on him.0
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Sorry but your OP sounds like you are administering to a child. Maybe that's the way I'm reading it **shrug**healthybodyhealthylife wrote: »Do you bathe and dress him, too?If your husband really wanted to gain weight he would be here asking for advice. Not you.
Well, he works 10 hours a day to pay the bills, rent and to support my studies and I stay at home and study so the least I can do is bother about his meals. Well thats what I expect any caring wife to do no need for the negative comments
Good luck.
The only thing I read is that she happens to make his breakfast and dinners. She's also here asking for some help on how she can prepare these meals to help him put on weight. What if her husband came and asked, "What can my wife do to make better meals to help me get weight," people would flip their lid at that too.
Some people are just looking for an excuse to get riled up. That's one of the main things I've learned from this thread.0 -
There's nothing wrong with wanting to help - but the person needs to want the help. My boyfriend works a crazy busy job and if he was cooking for him self he'd just bring some frozen meals to work. I work at home and have more time and energy to focus on what we're eating so I do take on that responsbility. No, I don't dress or bath him. I also don't force him to eat anything he doesn't want to. I give him options and he picks what he's willing to eat and I throw it together. The biggest thing that we had to figure out first was what he likes that is higher calorie. He's about half a foot taller than me, I work at a desk and he works in labor, etc so there's NO reason he should be eating exactly what I'm eating and just as much. My calorie needs are much lower. Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches really helped with this - higher calorie plus a surplus of carbs and protein to keep his day going. Some snacks that he likes, I'll make mini banana breads and freeze them and he takes them out as he eats them. And then I always put in some veggies that he eats.
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- This has nothing to do with him not wanting to do something, or being too busy, it has to do with the fact that I have more time on my hands so why wouldn't I do this? He does the same thing for me when I'm hitting OT hard and have way less time. He logs his own calories on MFP - I just make the meals and tell him what they are. I would suggest getting your hubby on here to at least see where he is calorie wise. If he's not willing to do that chances are you both will never know where to begin with upping/downing calories/macros.0 -
Sorry but your OP sounds like you are administering to a child. Maybe that's the way I'm reading it **shrug**healthybodyhealthylife wrote: »Do you bathe and dress him, too?If your husband really wanted to gain weight he would be here asking for advice. Not you.
Well, he works 10 hours a day to pay the bills, rent and to support my studies and I stay at home and study so the least I can do is bother about his meals. Well thats what I expect any caring wife to do no need for the negative comments
Good luck.
The only thing I read is that she happens to make his breakfast and dinners. She's also here asking for some help on how she can prepare these meals to help him put on weight. What if her husband came and asked, "What can my wife do to make better meals to help me get weight," people would flip their lid at that too.
Some people are just looking for an excuse to get riled up. That's one of the main things I've learned from this thread.
I know right. I mean, I am literally asking for advice on a weight gain forum on how to cook for my husband. Honestly I don't understand how that can be interpreted as me babying him and forcing him to eat food he doesnt want to and him not being involved with this... cooking for US is MY responsibility as a housewife. Now if anyone has problems with me being a housewife then that is another issue. And i've also said in my first post that he also wants to get to 70kg. Thanks to all the helpful comments, though.0 -
AlyssaJoJo wrote: »There's nothing wrong with wanting to help - but the person needs to want the help. My boyfriend works a crazy busy job and if he was cooking for him self he'd just bring some frozen meals to work. I work at home and have more time and energy to focus on what we're eating so I do take on that responsbility. No, I don't dress or bath him. I also don't force him to eat anything he doesn't want to. I give him options and he picks what he's willing to eat and I throw it together. The biggest thing that we had to figure out first was what he likes that is higher calorie. He's about half a foot taller than me, I work at a desk and he works in labor, etc so there's NO reason he should be eating exactly what I'm eating and just as much. My calorie needs are much lower. Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches really helped with this - higher calorie plus a surplus of carbs and protein to keep his day going. Some snacks that he likes, I'll make mini banana breads and freeze them and he takes them out as he eats them. And then I always put in some veggies that he eats.
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- This has nothing to do with him not wanting to do something, or being too busy, it has to do with the fact that I have more time on my hands so why wouldn't I do this? He does the same thing for me when I'm hitting OT hard and have way less time. He logs his own calories on MFP - I just make the meals and tell him what they are. I would suggest getting your hubby on here to at least see where he is calorie wise. If he's not willing to do that chances are you both will never know where to begin with upping/downing calories/macros.
Agreed - its not about him wanting it or being too busy, its that I am at home more than him and I have no reason to not do it! Couldn't have said it better0 -
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healthybodyhealthylife wrote: »AlyssaJoJo wrote: »There's nothing wrong with wanting to help - but the person needs to want the help. My boyfriend works a crazy busy job and if he was cooking for him self he'd just bring some frozen meals to work. I work at home and have more time and energy to focus on what we're eating so I do take on that responsbility. No, I don't dress or bath him. I also don't force him to eat anything he doesn't want to. I give him options and he picks what he's willing to eat and I throw it together. The biggest thing that we had to figure out first was what he likes that is higher calorie. He's about half a foot taller than me, I work at a desk and he works in labor, etc so there's NO reason he should be eating exactly what I'm eating and just as much. My calorie needs are much lower. Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches really helped with this - higher calorie plus a surplus of carbs and protein to keep his day going. Some snacks that he likes, I'll make mini banana breads and freeze them and he takes them out as he eats them. And then I always put in some veggies that he eats.
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- This has nothing to do with him not wanting to do something, or being too busy, it has to do with the fact that I have more time on my hands so why wouldn't I do this? He does the same thing for me when I'm hitting OT hard and have way less time. He logs his own calories on MFP - I just make the meals and tell him what they are. I would suggest getting your hubby on here to at least see where he is calorie wise. If he's not willing to do that chances are you both will never know where to begin with upping/downing calories/macros.
Agreed - its not about him wanting it or being too busy, its that I am at home more than him and I have no reason to not do it! Couldn't have said it better
if he wanted to do it- he would be on here asking himself. Or you'd have prefaced- I have more free time than my hubby and he asked me to help him research.
Everything in your original thread points to YOU wanting him to gain weight.
And honestly if he isn't losing than he's maintaining and then it's a matter of gain not maintain.
Either way - it's you apparently driving the train- and it really needs to be him. And that's everyone's issue.
heh- you must be new here.Some people are just looking for an excuse to get riled up. That's one of the main things I've learned from this thread.
Honestly none of us care at all one way or the other- i.e. we aren't "riled up". This is the most derp free sub forum on this location and we just know that in order to affect and implement real change in one's life it has to be self driven- no amount of 'outside' help will help unless the motivation and desire for change is with the person.
So no- we aren't riled up- we just know better.
And we see a common thread "my husband needs to eat more" which hysterical- if we saw a "my wife is to fat" thread- we'd see similar reactions of "she has to want to do it herself" only just WAY WAY more vitriolic- and would probably include- tell her to dump your sorry *kitten* for complaining that your wife is fat. Trust- this is way better than if the tables were turned.0
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