Self-Esteem and Confidence?

I agree these things are more separate than most realize. I restored much of my self-esteem while still in the "obese" range. One of my inspirations--

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tbcoh5hre74

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0NG8Th9V4sQ

I also enjoyed this book although I never read it cover-to-cover:

http://www.amazon.com/Self-Compassion-Beating-Yourself-Insecurity-Behind-ebook/dp/B004JN1DBO

I thought the same thing when I first started out and it's a tough thing to swallow when you realize that it's not true. For many of us, we're overweight BECAUSE we have confidence issues. Confidence comes when we continuously push ourselves outside our comfort zone and realize we're capable of doing things we never thought we could.

Look at what you've accomplished with your weight loss so far. Did you ever think you'd get to that point? Look at all the hard work you've done so far - CELEBRATE that! That's an amazing accomplishment! You know how hard you've worked and there are PLENTY of people out there that would've given up by then.

It's not the 100 pounds I lost that helped me to gain confidence. It's the work I put into losing that weight and what I accomplished while doing it. I went from completely sedentary and totally unhealthy to running half marathons, climbing the CN Tower, finishing the Insanity workout. I started my own business and did other things that freaked me out, did anyway and realized I could actually do (even if I failed along the way). Losing 100 pounds showed me that I can accomplish something if I really put my mind to it.

Confidence also grew as I started to be honest with myself with why I was overweight in the first place and making the changes necessary to make sure it doesn't happen again. I had to deal with emotional issues and false perceptions of myself that I carried deep inside since childhood.

Feel free to add me and we can chat!

You have value, and in moving toward being healthier, you are proving to yourself and everyone else that YOU know you have value, otherwise what would be the purpose for improving yourself? Self esteem and confidence come and go over time, and everyone struggles with them, but if you value yourself, momentary setbacks won't stop you, because you know you're worth more than that. Be strong, be positive. You're worth it.

akoullias wrote: »

I feel like as I'm losing the weight I notice how heavy I am more and more and when I'm in a room full of people I find myself weighing everyone in my mind and deciding that I'm probably the heaviest person in the room
I feel like my self-esteem goes down with the weight but hopefully that'll change
I have a lot to work on I guess

I have this problem too, and it makes me feel like a horrible person for having these thoughts. I also find that the more weight I lose, the more obsessed I become with being thin. These are obviously not healthy thoughts, and I know they need to change.

Mine was pretty low until i finally figured out deep down that I was holding myself to unnecessary and impossible standards that media and society had made me feel where required of me. Instead of just giving up because I couldn't be a muscular fitness model with 12pack abs I instead worked to be the best I could be. The result was the loss of 8 odd stone and a wholesale improvement of health and physical fitness. Anyone who sees me today would still say I am chubby or even fat. I still have a belly. I don't really give a damn. The other day I was out on a 10k run and I passed some skinny guy who was running the same course as me. I didn't really mean to I was just running faster. The guy got flustered and tried to keep up. Even overtook me for a while. Then after about a km I left him panting and wheezing for breath. I wasn't even trying.

I realized many things that are stupid with how people think. I realized that I didn't have to be skinny to be healthy or attractive. I certainly found some pretty chubby girls attractive myself. And was rather put off some of the skinny ones. I realized that actual physical attraction in the real world and perceived physical attraction espoused by celebrities and models are so far apart it's comedic. And also less about what someone looks like and more about what they are like.

The truth is folks is that as long as you maintain a good level of physical fitness and stay under the obesity line. Then there is no reason to hold yourself to any standard you don't want to. And anyone who would judge you for that is an immature twit unworthy of your time or consideration.

Since coming to these realizations I finally feel I am comfortable with how I am. I will never be skinny I love food too much to get there. But neither will I ever be obese again. I love being healthy and exercising so much I would literally have to stuff my face with cake all day to get there. I am healthy and happy and comfortable. And I decided this. If you let other people set your standards you will never measure up.