Too big to leave the house and exercise
kitkat940
Posts: 12
Hello all,
Do anyone else feel self conscious when out in public? Although I am well aware that most people are concerned with what's going on in their own lives I can't help but wonder if they look at me and think "what a cow". Same goes for the gym. I am there most days and am by far the biggest one there!
Do anyone else feel self conscious when out in public? Although I am well aware that most people are concerned with what's going on in their own lives I can't help but wonder if they look at me and think "what a cow". Same goes for the gym. I am there most days and am by far the biggest one there!
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Replies
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I wrote a blog about this...I was afraid to ride my bike because I didn't want people going by and thinking about how fat I am. I got.over that then was afraid to go to the gym. Lol
https://wizzyswandrings.wordpress.com/2014/01/11/fluffy-goes-to-the-gym/
I really don't care anymore. Most people do NOT notice you. If they do you're forgotten soon.0 -
I totally know where you are coming from. The fear of working out in front of others is real. It has actually reduced me to tears. But I'm pretty sure we are projecting when we think they are thinking ill of us when they see us working out. More likely they are thinking, "good for her for giving it a go." And if they are thinking terrible things, shame on them. Their lives must be pretty boring if they need to spend time making fun of those who are less fit than them. Bottom line. We can't let what we believe others are thinking defeat us. Run your own race. Go at your own pace. The tortoise won :-) Friend me if you would like. I am new to MFP. A few folks have been nice enough to friend me. I don't know how a couple of them found my name, but is nice to have friends along for this ride.0
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areallycoolstory wrote: »I totally know where you are coming from. The fear of working out in front of others is real. It has actually reduced me to tears. But I'm pretty sure we are projecting when we think they are thinking ill of us when they see us working out. More likely they are thinking, "good for her for giving it a go." And if they are thinking terrible things, shame on them. Their lives must be pretty boring if they need to spend time making fun of those who are less fit than them. Bottom line. We can't let what we believe others are thinking defeat us. Run your own race. Go at your own pace. The tortoise won :-) Friend me if you would like. I am new to MFP. A few folks have been nice enough to friend me. I don't know how a couple of them found my name, but is nice to have friends along for this ride.
Wow this really hit me in the0 -
Don't feel bad their are many of us out there that are afraid too exercise out in the open, that's one big reason why i won't join a gym not to mention why pay when i can go outside & get my workout for free.:-)The main thing is knowing that you decided to make a difference in your life & no one should be able to dictate how you live! Life is way too short to keep thinking what others might be saying behind our back our beneath their breath. Enjoy every moment of your life & live it too the fullest! Your more than welcome to add me as a friend we can support each other on this big journey!!
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I don't work out in a gym, I work out at home, but I can understand feeling self conscious. I wouldn't worry about it too much. Focus on you and why you're there. Truth is...most people who are in the gym are there to get fit, so if you are overweight and there, I would think these people could be your biggest motivators. Yes, there will be idiots who may stare at you or give you looks, but screw them! Don't let them intimidate you out of meeting your goals. Whenever I see someone venturing out in public who is exercising, I always say to myself, "Way to go!" Or "good for them!" Whether they are overweight or not. And if you need any support, feel free to friend me! Best wishes on your fitness journey!0
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It doesn't matter one lick what anyone else thinks. Their thoughts are theirs and don't affect you. If they're going to be thinking negative things about you then they are probably pretty miserable people, going around having negative thoughts. But who cares? You don't have a window into their thoughts anyway, so think instead about how you want yourself to think. Go get moving. And pat yourself on the back and say, "good for you, self! You're getting healthy!" Project that don't-give-a-flip attitude and people will treat you with respect.0
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There have been too many times that I have been out walking and someone has yelled things out their car window at me... "Why are you out walking when you should be in my bed?" "Whale" "Go home fatass." These are complete strangers yelling this stuff to me. It really hurts... So yes, this fear is alive and well in me. Fortunately, since we've moved to a better area, no one has said anything... but the fear is still there. I walk after dark now only.0
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I used to. Not anymore0
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I work out at home now cos I can't afford the gym anymore. But... I was a real gym bunny. And I'm not big...
I used to see newbies on their inductions and working out. And the ones that started to go regularly were MY motivation!
Yup... I'd think... OMG she's big and all hot and sweaty. She's really working out. Good for her. I need to step it up.
I always had a big smile for everyone.
Oh... and still do when I'm out running.
I cross paths with another runner and manage a smile - especially if they're all huffing and puffing. I think BRAVO!0 -
Hello all,
Do anyone else feel self conscious when out in public? Although I am well aware that most people are concerned with what's going on in their own lives I can't help but wonder if they look at me and think "what a cow". Same goes for the gym. I am there most days and am by far the biggest one there!
There was an interesting survey recently which revealed many women regarded the gym as a place to go when you are fit but men tended to regard it as a place to go when you need to get fit.
I am in the gym most days and am frequently the oldest one there - I never wonder if people are thinking "silly old fart". And honestly wouldn't care if they did.
As Nike would say - just do it.
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Hello all,
Do anyone else feel self conscious when out in public? Although I am well aware that most people are concerned with what's going on in their own lives I can't help but wonder if they look at me and think "what a cow". Same goes for the gym. I am there most days and am by far the biggest one there!
The hardest step is always the first step tell you the truth from my perspective, I don't think anyone thinks that, everyone started from somewhere you just gotta get that train going. Goodluck0 -
People are more interested in themselves and what they are doing. Dont let paranoia prevent you from reaching your own goals and becoming an obstacle/ excuse. It gets easier the more you do it. All the more incentive to make progress and not let such thinking stand in your way.0
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Anyone who makes an effort is brave, whether they are fat or thin, fit or flabby, old or young.
No one pays attention to anyone else. We are all self-involved whether we are at the gym or on the road.
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I am a 266 pound woman and I recently joined the gym and started doing C25K. When I´m on the treadmill, believe me - I wobble! I was worried at first that people would be snickering and laughing but they aren´t. If anything, they are admiring the fact I´m doing it! It has now reached a point where I feel totally at ease there and if anyone was to look at snicker, I think of the brilliant #thisgirlcan campaign and I feel empowered. Check it out -
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aN7lt0CYwHg 0 -
People at the gym will either a. not care, or b. applaud that you're trying to change your life. Didn't most of us start going there at a weight that embarrassed us?0
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Other people"s opinion shouldn't matter. You do what you do for yourself. I know I'm the oldest person in most of my classes. I use to be the biggest in those same classes. I don't look at people and they don't look at me. I saw this gorgeous young thing look at me at the gym once... i stared back and said yes i really did do 3 unassisted pull ups and I didn't pee my pants. She laughed and said you're so hardcore mum. Lol.0
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Other people"s opinion shouldn't matter. You do what you do for yourself. I know I'm the oldest person in most of my classes. I use to be the biggest in those same classes. I don't look at people and they don't look at me. I saw this gorgeous young thing look at me at the gym once... i stared back and said yes i really did do 3 unassisted pull ups and I didn't pee my pants. She laughed and said you're so hardcore mum. Lol.0
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Other people"s opinion shouldn't matter. You do what you do for yourself. I know I'm the oldest person in most of my classes. I use to be the biggest in those same classes. I don't look at people and they don't look at me. I saw this gorgeous young thing look at me at the gym once... i stared back and said yes i really did do 3 unassisted pull ups and I didn't pee my pants. She laughed and said you're so hardcore mum. Lol.
Apple173 that's awesome!!!!0 -
Hello all,
Do anyone else feel self conscious when out in public? Although I am well aware that most people are concerned with what's going on in their own lives I can't help but wonder if they look at me and think "what a cow". Same goes for the gym. I am there most days and am by far the biggest one there!
Everyone starts somewhere. The simple fact is you are starting which is a huge step. It is easy to say to don't worry about what people think because we all naturally do at first. Just go. I've seen a few people at our gym who you could tell were self conscious starting out but have done well over time. Just go and try not to think about what others are thinking. This is for you, not them.0 -
My experience at the gym has been so much better than expected. I was afraid of what people thought of me; but have learned that what they think of me is actually the opposite of what I expected. I know, because some of them have come up to me and told me they are so happy to see me and to see my progress! They were noticing me, but in a good way. I've even had some of the guys give me 'props' for doing the really hard Daily Burn videos (my gym subscribes to it and they're a part of the fitness on demand feature).
Yes, there are a couple of *kitten* there; but they keep to themselves. It seems no one likes them or wants anything to do with them. If you are respectful and friendly, then the others will reciprocate.0 -
reginastiffler wrote: »There have been too many times that I have been out walking and someone has yelled things out their car window at me... "Why are you out walking when you should be in my bed?" "Whale" "Go home fatass." These are complete strangers yelling this stuff to me. It really hurts... So yes, this fear is alive and well in me. Fortunately, since we've moved to a better area, no one has said anything... but the fear is still there. I walk after dark now only.
That is appalling. I'm sorry that's been your experience. It happened to me once too. It shook me for a while but now I wear my headphones and am oblivious. I had forgotten for moment it had ever happened.0 -
I have seen a few threads like this, and I have seen the following trend in answers: out walking etc, you are WAY more likely to get appalling comments / verbal assault from passersby than you will ever hear in a gym. I think this is because people in gyms -all- know it is WORK. Gym-goers seem to respect other people who are obviously doing the work of fitness. In the general population, at least from reading this board, you are being judged by people who have never done the work or aren't doing the work. I was nervous about the gym enviornment at first, but I have found the people there to be way too busy to do more than ask how many sets I have left on a particular machine. A few of the regulars started to notice & say -nice, positive- things to me after they had seen me there regularly for a couple of months. I was pleasantly surprised.0
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I'm going to give you my perspective, which is that of a girl who has never truly been overweight. When I see women at the gym who are considerably larger than I or by standard definition obese, I admire them. I've never been over 175 lbs at 5'9" (even when pregnant). Maybe I'm just genetically fortunate to have always been of average or low weight. But man, do I feel utterly embarrassed trying to workout in front of others. I think they expect me to be super fit because of my frame or weight. I'm not. I struggle, hard some days. But then I see women come to the gym day after grueling day, certainly at around 300 lbs and they are pushing so hard. They likely feel the same humiliation I am, if not more? I'm not sure. But I never, ever look at a woman clearly working to improve her health and think "what a cow".
No. I think "you're my inspiration this workout". If you can ignore looks or the nagging worries you have, then so must I. Not all people are as judgmental as we imagine them to be.0 -
I used to be feel ridiculous and terrified when I went to the gym. For a long time part of the reason I didn't make any progress was that I wouldn't go for this reason - "I don't belong there". But the entire purpose of a gym's existence is to provide a place for people to take care of their physical body. The feeling went away after I finally started going enough that I became a "regular" and felt confident that I knew the etiquette and how to use the equipment. The more you go the more you get to see how many other patrons are just like you, too. Even if you are the biggest person there, everyone is just trying to improve their lives.0
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I felt that way although I have no reason to be self conscious. (I'm not fat just skinny fat and my body shape is embarrassing). I told my trainer how I felt and you know what he told me?
"The only thing that's embarrassing, are those people walking past this gym pretending they don't know us."
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reginastiffler wrote: »There have been too many times that I have been out walking and someone has yelled things out their car window at me... "Why are you out walking when you should be in my bed?" "Whale" "Go home fatass." These are complete strangers yelling this stuff to me. It really hurts... So yes, this fear is alive and well in me. Fortunately, since we've moved to a better area, no one has said anything... but the fear is still there. I walk after dark now only.
WTF! Who the hell are these uneducated, insensitive shitheads? Im sorry you had to endure that. Stay strong. Karma is a *kitten*. Those people will get theirs.0 -
Everyone starts somewhere!! My thought about everyone I see working out at the gym - awesome, way to go, for making a healthy choice today. That is, when I even think about anyone else! I'm usually focused on what it is *I'm* doing and tend to get tunnel vision. I suspect most others are this way too.
Please don't let this hold you back!!0 -
Your own mind is your biggest judge! Change that into positive. And if others don't like what they see that s their problem. People will always judge you regardless of how look,hot or not ! 0
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Honestly, when I see someone working out outside - anyone, regardless of the size, I feel like praising them. It makes being outside so much nicer when people are outside doing stuff.
Unfortunately, I have read many posts on MFP of people sharing their horrifying experiences of when they go walking around their neighbourhood, some punk yells out their window as they drive by to make a nasty comment.
There will always be punks in this world. You can not allow the fact that they *MIGHT* drive by while you are working out impact how you live your life. Yes it might happen, no the comment will not kill you.
If it is causing severe anxiety, I would recommend finding a program to do at home. I would recommend finding a DVD set you love, so you can do it rain-or-shine and it is excuse proof. Lose some of the weight, get some confidence, and when you are ready - go out and show the world what you are made of.0
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