Underage girls on MFP

ana3067
ana3067 Posts: 5,623 Member
edited November 12 in Health and Weight Loss
I was friend requested by a 14 year old girl. I declined the request because it was clear that she does not have very healthy goals - display picture of a near emaciated girl (whether this is her or not I'm not sure), desire to be a size 0, ultimate goal to weigh less than 100lbs on a 5'5 frame.

Is there something (else) I should do? I don't know whether a private message would be appropriate, adn I don't know what would be appropriate to say in this case either. You cannot report users, and even if you could she'd still make another one. It's just really unfortunate to see young girls developing unhealthy body image ideals :(
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Replies

  • Sabine_Stroehm
    Sabine_Stroehm Posts: 19,263 Member
    Interesting that she friended you. Your profile doesn't sound very compatible with those goals. So far no one like that has friended me. But yes, I see a lot of young folks here, boys and girls starting down that path. Scary and sad. But yes, if they don't post, how can you report them. I guess you could contact staff or mods with her profile?
  • jenglish712
    jenglish712 Posts: 497 Member
    She may have just been responding to your name. But yes, it would be nice to have a report user function.
  • ana3067
    ana3067 Posts: 5,623 Member
    jenglish712 wrote: »
    She may have just been responding to your name. But yes, it would be nice to have a report user function.
    That's true. My initials are unfortunate LOL. Although you'd have to completely skip reading anything on my profile to get this vibe from me.
  • ana3067
    ana3067 Posts: 5,623 Member
    Sabine_Stroehm wrote: »
    Interesting that she friended you. Your profile doesn't sound very compatible with those goals. So far no one like that has friended me. But yes, I see a lot of young folks here, boys and girls starting down that path. Scary and sad. But yes, if they don't post, how can you report them. I guess you could contact staff or mods with her profile?

    I don't see a generic contact form/link though. Just things for like business, tech, etc.
  • jenglish712
    jenglish712 Posts: 497 Member
    Kids don't read these days!

    I actually only bothered to put up any picture at all on my profile so you could tell I was a dude when I posted. Someone thought I was a chick named Jen from my username.
  • slucki01
    slucki01 Posts: 284 Member
    if you're online, there's a "contact us" link at the bottom of the page
  • ana3067
    ana3067 Posts: 5,623 Member
    slucki01 wrote: »
    if you're online, there's a "contact us" link at the bottom of the page

    yes I am, but the link doesn't have a generic contact form. Not sure which form I'd be using for this
  • Ninkyou
    Ninkyou Posts: 6,666 Member
    edited February 2015
    The only thing I can come up with is from the forum guidelines, it says:
    b) If you have concerns about another poster, or wish to report a guideline violation, the only appropriate venue is to use the Report Post link or to message a moderator or Olivia, MFP's Community Manager.

    So yeah, I'd report her to a mod and see if they can do something.

    I'm also going to agree she probably friended you purely based on your username... and your 'thigh gap'ish avatar (though we know the argument on that one ;) )
  • obscuremusicreference
    obscuremusicreference Posts: 1,320 Member
    edited February 2015
    Ana, I would message Olivia.
  • mrsmiley32
    mrsmiley32 Posts: 68 Member
    edited February 2015
    Her goal is to be a size 0, my assumption there is that if she had an eating disorder her goal would be maintain or gain as the disorder would already be known. My thoughts also regarding that are addressed by parents doctors school and child protection services if it's reinforced by the parents.
  • Sabine_Stroehm
    Sabine_Stroehm Posts: 19,263 Member
    Ninkyou wrote: »
    The only thing I can come up with is from the forum guidelines, it says:
    b) If you have concerns about another poster, or wish to report a guideline violation, the only appropriate venue is to use the Report Post link or to message a moderator or Olivia, MFP's Community Manager.

    So yeah, I'd report her to a mod and see if they can do something.

    I'm also going to agree she probably friended you purely based on your username... and your 'thigh gap'ish avatar (though we know the argument on that one ;) )

    Yes, probably a combination of the two. And yes, I'd say reporting to mods is in order.
  • Aviva92
    Aviva92 Posts: 2,333 Member
    I would probably ignore the friend request and probably wouldn't report the person. I wouldn't feel as though it's my business. It is technically against forum rules for people under 18 to be on here though.
  • mrsmiley32
    mrsmiley32 Posts: 68 Member
    Oh fine, my point was to aim for healthyness not for a size so it came out wrong. Let me place a blanket apology for trying and failing to give advice.
  • ana3067
    ana3067 Posts: 5,623 Member
    Ninkyou wrote: »
    The only thing I can come up with is from the forum guidelines, it says:
    b) If you have concerns about another poster, or wish to report a guideline violation, the only appropriate venue is to use the Report Post link or to message a moderator or Olivia, MFP's Community Manager.

    So yeah, I'd report her to a mod and see if they can do something.

    I'm also going to agree she probably friended you purely based on your username... and your 'thigh gap'ish avatar (though we know the argument on that one ;) )
    LOL I used the picture because it was me flexing and I could see a bit of quad :( I just took new pics today though so it will be replaced soon anyways, maybe for the best!
  • ana3067
    ana3067 Posts: 5,623 Member
    mrsmiley32 wrote: »
    Her goal is to be a size 0, my assumption there is that if she had an eating disorder her goal would be maintain or gain as the disorder would already be known. My thoughts also regarding that are addressed by parents doctors school and child protection services if it's reinforced by the parents.

    That's.. not how disordered eating works. That'd be like saying that because I know I suffer from depression that my goal would be to be happy every day. But it doesn't just happen because I'm aware of it.
  • ana3067
    ana3067 Posts: 5,623 Member
    BTW someone want to post a link to Olivia's page? I don't know who that is lol.
  • kgeyser
    kgeyser Posts: 22,505 Member
    Here's a link to the Community Team, you can always PM any one of us with questions or concerns:

    http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10028709/meet-our-community-team
  • mrsmiley32
    mrsmiley32 Posts: 68 Member
    Curious my wife is MDD, the goal is typically to be as happy (a terrible word to use so let's go with 'not feeling as bad'), it just doesn't often work out that way. Doesn't mean you can't hope for the best.

    Or am I being short sighted in my ignorance, feel free to educate me because I don't stand in these shoes so I've never had to take a walk in them.
  • jenglish712
    jenglish712 Posts: 497 Member
    mrsmiley32 wrote: »
    Curious my wife is MDD, the goal is typically to be as happy (a terrible word to use so let's go with 'not feeling as bad'), it just doesn't often work out that way. Doesn't mean you can't hope for the best.

    Or am I being short sighted in my ignorance, feel free to educate me because I don't stand in these shoes so I've never had to take a walk in them.

    Well, it's a bit of a different horse, but the major concern here is often those who either don't recognize disordered eating or view it as a positive. There are many pro-ana sites out there. We don't typically have folks glorifying MDD or viewing being depressed as a positive thing.

    With ED, we also are not aiming for people to hit a morbidly obese weight, but a healthy one, but it's a bit trickier of a balance with weight than with mood. That being said I think society gives a great deal of messages we should all be giddy with happiness all the time which is no more realistic than the photoshopped model pics driving young girls to poor body image... but that's another tangent.
  • mrsmiley32
    mrsmiley32 Posts: 68 Member
    And really that is what I was trying to communicate earlier: be healthy, I just stuck my foot in my mouth and failed to take the larger scope into picture. Healthy is different for everyone and is a range for the individual.

    Also please don't take what I said as glorifying mdd, I was stating on the comparison she made that there is always hoping, but again I do not know the struggles beyond what 90s kids sitcoms taught me.
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  • iwillsucceed0444
    iwillsucceed0444 Posts: 432 Member
    I say report them, but I doubt that will stop them from making another account. People are going to do what they're gonna do, so I think getting their account deleted won't make of a difference sadly...:/
  • Alatariel75
    Alatariel75 Posts: 18,230 Member
    When they're underage but not seemingly ED i tend to direct them to Spark Teens, then report. If they are also ED i link them to the support bit and report.
  • cottony
    cottony Posts: 109 Member
    it's quite absurd,yes,but if i think about it,my weight loss started when i was 16 and not in the healthiest way,i tried some diets and thought about losing weight since middle school,but i was overweight or even obese.But these days many standards are based on photoshopped girls or girls who use drastic diets to stay skinny,few weeks ago my 9 year old sister told me she tried a 'diet' for one day-it shocked me but i luckily know that she won't say no if i buy snacks and bake some goodies.
    Girls think about dieting in a very early age and we can't really do anything about it.
  • segacs
    segacs Posts: 4,599 Member
    There are something like a dozen of these profiles created every day. Some of them are trolls, and some are kids with legitimate EDs looking for attention. Usually their profiles say that they're 18, but their first posts are all about how they can't eat more than 600 calories without feeling sick, or how they feel "gross" while already underweight and want to lose more.

    I suppose on a weight loss website, it's inevitable that there will be some of this sort of thing going on. It's hard to screen for it, and if you shut down one profile they'll just create another. But I agree, it's very sad when you see it.
  • winterWind341
    winterWind341 Posts: 24 Member
    You should report her for her own good. She will most likely make another account but you can't control that. As for the teens using MFP i think its ok ONLY IF their parents know and see their diaries every day and make sure that their deficit is not too big (under 1300 we are talking about teens that are developing and that is very low for their age) and by teens i mean 16 and up. Anyone younger should not diet whitout a medical supervision. Let's be honest its better for them to track calories and lose the weight the healthy way then to do fad diets like 6 weeks to omg or something like that. This is my opinion and i know that many will disagree but we are all have different opinions and that is completely ok.
  • Alatariel75
    Alatariel75 Posts: 18,230 Member
    winterWind341 wrote: »
    You should report her for her own good. She will most likely make another account but you can't control that. As for the teens using MFP i think its ok ONLY IF their parents know and see their diaries every day and make sure that their deficit is not too big (under 1300 we are talking about teens that are developing and that is very low for their age) and by teens i mean 16 and up. Anyone younger should not diet whitout a medical supervision. Let's be honest its better for them to track calories and lose the weight the healthy way then to do fad diets like 6 weeks to omg or something like that. This is my opinion and i know that many will disagree but we are all have different opinions and that is completely ok.

    MFP is only for 18 and up, so even with parental supervision, they should go use SparkTeens or something.
  • missiontofitness
    missiontofitness Posts: 4,059 Member
    ana3067 wrote: »
    slucki01 wrote: »
    if you're online, there's a "contact us" link at the bottom of the page

    yes I am, but the link doesn't have a generic contact form. Not sure which form I'd be using for this

    I've reported underage users via the Contact Us link > "Frequently Asked Questions" > "Or Email Us", and then selecting "other" as my reason for emailing them.
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