Family and friends keep telling me to stop losing weight.
SosaMinosa
Posts: 41 Member
I'm a 5'3 132 pound female. 7 months ago, I weighed 172 pounds and realized I needed to change, so I lost 40 pounds the healthy way (sensible diet and exercise). Now I'm 7 pounds from my goal, but everyone is telling me not to lose anymore. I get comments all the time from people saying that it's crazy to lose any more weight.This is so strange to me, because I can see bits of fat around my belly that I need to lose. Has anyone else experienced this?
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I get the same from my family and hubby. I'm 5"8 and 140lbs. I started at around 175ish. I've got 8lbs left to lose till I'm at my goal weight. It's going so slowly now, that I doubt anyone will notice the loss from here on out anyway lol
Nothing I say will stop them from being concerned. So I just nod my head and say ok0 -
Oh my goodness we are exactly on the same path! I weighed 171 and have lost 40, fluctuating between 131-133 constantly. People keep telling me the same thing but honestly its my body and I know what I want to work on. They told me the same at 140 but now I get compliments all the time. Just keep working girl! You can do it!0
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Yes! So irritating! I honestly attribute it to two things:
1. They're shocked to see a dramatic change if they haven't seen you in a while (and worry about your health.)
2. Our society as a whole is so overweight, that people have almost gotten used to it as the new norm.
They'll eventually stop when they realize you've made a life change and have done it the healthy way. Four years ago, I lost 59 pounds--went from 193 to 134 (I'm 5'10). No one ever says anything any more, as I think they see that I work out hard and eat clean.
But it pissed me off a lot. It was like if you're not too fat, you're too skinny.0 -
christinev297 wrote: »I get the same from my family and hubby. I'm 5"8 and 140lbs. I started at around 175ish. I've got 8lbs left to lose till I'm at my goal weight. It's going so slowly now, that I doubt anyone will notice the loss from here on out anyway lol
Nothing I say will stop them from being concerned. So I just nod my head and say ok
My weight loss has slowed down considerably as well, so I'm hoping the comments will slow, too. I pretty much do the same though and nod my head. It's just frustrating because people make me feel as if I'm a cause for concern, lol. Glad to know I'm not alone. Thanks
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Wow!! Thank you so much for all your replies. It makes me feel so much better to hear that. You've motivated me to keep going. Thanks you guys!!!0
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Your goal is within healthy BMI. But be aware that seeing 'bits of fat around your belly' will probably always be the case. We don't lose all our belly fat, ever. We need it for survival.
You're a teen? Your body is probably gaining some fat stores, preparing itself for possible future reproduction. It's normal. If you get to where menstruation stops, your body could be telling you you've dieted your fat percent down too low.0 -
EarlyBirdBex wrote: »Yes! So irritating! I honestly attribute it to two things:
1. They're shocked to see a dramatic change if they haven't seen you in a while (and worry about your health.)
2. Our society as a whole is so overweight, that people have almost gotten used to it as the new norm.
They'll eventually stop when they realize you've made a life change and have done it the healthy way. Four years ago, I lost 59 pounds--went from 193 to 134 (I'm 5'10). No one ever says anything any more, as I think they see that I work out hard and eat clean.
But it pissed me off a lot. It was like if you're not too fat, you're too skinny.
Oh goodness. I remember this. My freshman year of highschool I went to 108-125 and boys at the beginning of the year had the nerve to call me anorexic and by the end of the year were calling me fat.
At 14 years old, I actually believed I was extremely fat at 125!
Its ridiculous.0 -
EarlyBirdBex wrote: »Yes! So irritating! I honestly attribute it to two things:
1. They're shocked to see a dramatic change if they haven't seen you in a while (and worry about your health.)
2. Our society as a whole is so overweight, that people have almost gotten used to it as the new norm.
They'll eventually stop when they realize you've made a life change and have done it the healthy way. Four years ago, I lost 59 pounds--went from 193 to 134 (I'm 5'10). No one ever says anything any more, as I think they see that I work out hard and eat clean.
But it pissed me off a lot. It was like if you're not too fat, you're too skinny.
Oh goodness. I remember this. My freshman year of highschool I went to 108-125 and boys at the beginning of the year had the nerve to call me anorexic and by the end of the year were calling me fat.
At 14 years old, I actually believed I was extremely fat at 125!
Its ridiculous.
This is why so many women have body image issues. No matter what we do, people feel as if it's their right to comment. How sick is that!?!?0 -
EarlyBirdBex wrote: »Yes! So irritating! I honestly attribute it to two things:
1. They're shocked to see a dramatic change if they haven't seen you in a while (and worry about your health.)
2. Our society as a whole is so overweight, that people have almost gotten used to it as the new norm.
They'll eventually stop when they realize you've made a life change and have done it the healthy way. Four years ago, I lost 59 pounds--went from 193 to 134 (I'm 5'10). No one ever says anything any more, as I think they see that I work out hard and eat clean.
But it pissed me off a lot. It was like if you're not too fat, you're too skinny.
Oh goodness. I remember this. My freshman year of highschool I went to 108-125 and boys at the beginning of the year had the nerve to call me anorexic and by the end of the year were calling me fat.
At 14 years old, I actually believed I was extremely fat at 125!
Its ridiculous.
Boys suck!!!
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WalkingAlong wrote: »Your goal is within healthy BMI. But be aware that seeing 'bits of fat around your belly' will probably always be the case. We don't lose all our belly fat, ever. We need it for survival.
You're a teen? Your body is probably gaining some fat stores, preparing itself for possible future reproduction. It's normal. If you get to where menstruation stops, your body could be telling you you've dieted your fat percent down too low.
Sorry about the username. I'm actually in my 20s, I just use the username because I'm too lazy to come up with anything else, lol. I get what you mean about always seeing fat around my belly, I really just want to reach my goal and strengthen my core
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Were they telling you to lose weight when you were overweight? If not, ignore them.
If they were encouraging you to lose weight then they probably have your health in mind. Maybe sit them down explain why you want to lose 7 pounds. The science behind your goal weight.
Either way it's your body.0 -
EarlyBirdBex wrote: »Yes! So irritating! I honestly attribute it to two things:
1. They're shocked to see a dramatic change if they haven't seen you in a while (and worry about your health.)
2. Our society as a whole is so overweight, that people have almost gotten used to it as the new norm.
They'll eventually stop when they realize you've made a life change and have done it the healthy way. Four years ago, I lost 59 pounds--went from 193 to 134 (I'm 5'10). No one ever says anything any more, as I think they see that I work out hard and eat clean.
But it pissed me off a lot. It was like if you're not too fat, you're too skinny.
Oh goodness. I remember this. My freshman year of highschool I went to 108-125 and boys at the beginning of the year had the nerve to call me anorexic and by the end of the year were calling me fat.
At 14 years old, I actually believed I was extremely fat at 125!
Its ridiculous.
This is why so many women have body image issues. No matter what we do, people feel as if it's their right to comment. How sick is that!?!?
Its really messed up! Women have never commented on my weight except for one when I was in 6th grade and she had hit puberty and I hadn't. Karma really bit her in the *kitten* though.
It's always been men. My brothers, father, boys at school, EX boyfriends. It's just really sad.0 -
Were they telling you to lose weight when you were overweight? If not, ignore them.
If they were encouraging you to lose weight then they probably have your health in mind. Maybe sit them down explain why you want to lose 7 pounds. The science behind your goal weight.
Either way it's your body.
Come to think of it, no one ever told me to lose weight. I mentioned that I was going to lose weight to a friend who told me not to lose more than 10 pounds. Now everyone says I look great where I am 40 pounds later, lol 0 -
Were they telling you to lose weight when you were overweight? If not, ignore them.
If they were encouraging you to lose weight then they probably have your health in mind. Maybe sit them down explain why you want to lose 7 pounds. The science behind your goal weight.
Either way it's your body.
Come to think of it, no one ever told me to lose weight. I mentioned that I was going to lose weight to a friend who told me not to lose more than 10 pounds. Now everyone says I look great where I am 40 pounds later, lol
For me, if they weren't concerned when you were overweight, not encouraging or suggesting you lose weight, now that you have lost weight, you should ignore their comments or opinions.
As long as your not getting to an unhealthy weight or in an unhealthy way, why not lose the last few pounds.
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christinev297 wrote: »EarlyBirdBex wrote: »Yes! So irritating! I honestly attribute it to two things:
1. They're shocked to see a dramatic change if they haven't seen you in a while (and worry about your health.)
2. Our society as a whole is so overweight, that people have almost gotten used to it as the new norm.
They'll eventually stop when they realize you've made a life change and have done it the healthy way. Four years ago, I lost 59 pounds--went from 193 to 134 (I'm 5'10). No one ever says anything any more, as I think they see that I work out hard and eat clean.
But it pissed me off a lot. It was like if you're not too fat, you're too skinny.
Oh goodness. I remember this. My freshman year of highschool I went to 108-125 and boys at the beginning of the year had the nerve to call me anorexic and by the end of the year were calling me fat.
At 14 years old, I actually believed I was extremely fat at 125!
Its ridiculous.
Boys suck!!!
Indeed.
Sorry your family is being harsh, but you just need to stop talking about this with them. If they question your weight, change the subject. It's good practice for when all their friends have grandkids and you're working on your education and career goals.0 -
Were they telling you to lose weight when you were overweight? If not, ignore them.
If they were encouraging you to lose weight then they probably have your health in mind. Maybe sit them down explain why you want to lose 7 pounds. The science behind your goal weight.
Either way it's your body.
Come to think of it, no one ever told me to lose weight. I mentioned that I was going to lose weight to a friend who told me not to lose more than 10 pounds. Now everyone says I look great where I am 40 pounds later, lol
For me, if they weren't concerned when you were overweight, not encouraging or suggesting you lose weight, now that you have lost weight, you should ignore their comments or opinions.
As long as your not getting to an unhealthy weight or in an unhealthy way, why not lose the last few pounds.
You're absolutely right!0 -
obscuremusicreference wrote: »christinev297 wrote: »EarlyBirdBex wrote: »Yes! So irritating! I honestly attribute it to two things:
1. They're shocked to see a dramatic change if they haven't seen you in a while (and worry about your health.)
2. Our society as a whole is so overweight, that people have almost gotten used to it as the new norm.
They'll eventually stop when they realize you've made a life change and have done it the healthy way. Four years ago, I lost 59 pounds--went from 193 to 134 (I'm 5'10). No one ever says anything any more, as I think they see that I work out hard and eat clean.
But it pissed me off a lot. It was like if you're not too fat, you're too skinny.
Oh goodness. I remember this. My freshman year of highschool I went to 108-125 and boys at the beginning of the year had the nerve to call me anorexic and by the end of the year were calling me fat.
At 14 years old, I actually believed I was extremely fat at 125!
Its ridiculous.
Boys suck!!!
Indeed.
Sorry your family is being harsh, but you just need to stop talking about this with them. If they question your weight, change the subject. It's good practice for when all their friends have grandkids and you're working on your education and career goals.
Awesome advice. I think that if I keep changing the subject, they'll get the hint eventually that it's not open for discussion.0 -
I've learned from my family members/friends that sometimes they tell you to NOT lose weight mainly because it would make them feel better about themselves. I was small growing up, 4'10, 90-100 pounds. I gained weight and ended up at 142, I started my weight loss journey and have lost 20 pounds and now people are saying "you're too thin, you can't lose anymore, you'll disappear if you lose 10 more pounds." When in reality I'm not even a healthy weight yet. But its only the people in my life who desperately want to be skinnier and would do ANYTHING to achieve it... Except, ya know, diet and exercise(lol)....My best friend is 300 pounds, and has never dieted or exercised regularly and she LOVED that I gained weight and was mad when she found out I was losing weight. Now she has adjusted and doesn't care. But every time she sees me she'll hug me and ask me if I've lost more weight accusingly. Long story short, do what makes you happy and healthy. Just as long as you eat enough, aren't severely underweight, and are happy then keep on keeping on. You can't make everyone happy
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I usually tell them I'm not losing any more, I'm just "toning". They don't know the difference... Lol.0
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I am less than 5lbs from the upper end of my healthy weight range and just under 15lbs from my final goal. To date I have lost a total of 63 lbs. My ex told me recently "You know, losing so much weight makes you look older". We usually get along just fine after being divorced more than 25 years. I even picked out his wife's Christmas gift last year. BUT, when I stopped in a couple of months ago to have him fix the brakes on my car he actually called the poor woman out to the garage just to show her how much weight I have lost. Jerk! I felt really embarrassed for her. Just one of the many reasons he isn't my husband any more.0
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Yep I get it every day from somebody. I'm 5'6 and 137, 26 yrs old. I was a fat kid and teenager at 230 at one point then went down to 180-160 and yoyoed there for years. People are just used to seeing me bigger but I'm not at an anorexic sick weight. My goal is 130 but no more. Our bodies will tell us! Great work btw!0
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Oh my gosh I get this so much too! Although I've lost weight in the past, this last year has been the time when I've become serious about making a change, and I've gone from about 143lbs to 118lbs, standing at 5'5 and being 23yrs old.
My family (mum inparticular) begs me to "not lose any more weight" and friends call me a "skinny *kitten*." I often wonder whether they say it out of jealously or if they actually mean it. Like I know I can't afford to lose much more weight. In actual fact I want to lose body fat whilst building muscle, weight is no longer a concern to me.
But it's highly annoying that people feel the need to be so judgemental about what makes me happy, when I'm sure they wouldn't outright tell an overweight person that they were fat.0 -
As long as your goal weight is within a healthy BMI which it is for you then you shouldn't care what they say lose weight to your goal0
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WalkingAlong wrote: »Your goal is within healthy BMI. But be aware that seeing 'bits of fat around your belly' will probably always be the case. We don't lose all our belly fat, ever. We need it for survival.
Ever?
Really?
I've got a belly (and a profile pic) that say otherwise.
If you want to lose the belly fat, you can and you will. If you just want to make excuses .. well .... you will.
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....and here is your prize for being below average sized and having abs visible in the middle of winter.......
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Yes. I get this all the time. Even trainers who don't work with me have said I should stop. I'm at the high end of the weight charts for my height: 5'4" and 138 pounds. It's not like I'm even that thin.
What annoys me is when my friends who are the same height and weigh 10 pounds less tell me not to lose anymore. So I can't be as thin as you? Okay.0 -
I had this recently. I've put on a stone in the last month and a couple of family member said "that's good, you were looking gaunt". Really, at 190lbs?!0
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Along with losing those 7 pounds, you might want to check the exercise boards here, since working with weights helps to firm up those jiggly bits. And I'd just not bother to tell your family that you're still dieting.0
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Some of us (me!) aren't very lucky when it comes to the order we lose weight in. My face tends to get gaunt before the belly pudge budges. I just smile and thank everyone for their concern and go on with what I'm doing. They don't see me naked, I do!0
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People feel sorry or have contempt for being overweight. But when you get "too thin" it reminds them of their own failure at adherence. Only true generosity trumps.0
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