Dealing with annoying non-fitness people

devilinsoul
devilinsoul Posts: 105 Member
edited November 12 in Chit-Chat
Hey guys

how do you deal with people you have known before who - after they find out you have lost weight - come to you asking for "advice". However, you already know that anything you tell them, they will either will criticize with some *kitten* (e.g. "but lifting makes girls bulky" -_-) or will not even make the smallest step towards their "goal". In fact they are just curious and not really interested in doing something with themselves (except complaining how dissatisfied they are with their bodies - which is not always true...). When you say you do eat healthy, they imagine you only eat salads and lean meats, no carbs... Usually they have not done any research, so they have no clue about IIFYM and when I say I am eating pizza and chocolate and still loosing weight, they do not believe me... and I'm so sick of this that I do feel quite uncomfortable talking about these things with non-fitness people...

What do you guys usually say to these people so you won't appear as the "mean" one?

Replies

  • zaxx1953
    zaxx1953 Posts: 389 Member
    You can lose weight and not eat/be healthy, sure.
  • jimmy979
    jimmy979 Posts: 14 Member
    I just say you gotta eat clean and exercise when you can ! Don't get into details and make it complicated just keep it short and sweet and play it off. Most people don't know how to eat right or don't have dedication to they just wanna talk about it like that make work!!! You know how it is you only get out of it what you put in it !!! Moderation is the key everything in moderation is ok!!!!!
  • jimmy979
    jimmy979 Posts: 14 Member
    Or you could use the old everyone's different gotta find what works for u! Short and sweet
  • devilinsoul
    devilinsoul Posts: 105 Member
    exactly, they have no dedication in most cases... When I tell them to eat clean they are always like: so I cannot eat pizza/fast food/sweets anymore?

    I usually just smile but in my mind its like a triple-mega-facepalm :D
  • LovingLifeInCalifornia
    LovingLifeInCalifornia Posts: 9,362 Member
    jimmy979 wrote: »
    Or you could use the old everyone's different gotta find what works for u! Short and sweet

    ^ I started saying this because when I started telling them that I cut certain foods and tracked calories, they looked at me like that was impossible. Most are looking for a magic pill.
  • devilinsoul
    devilinsoul Posts: 105 Member
    I don't even mention tracking calories because then they look at me like crazy... but c'mon, I'm not crazy, it's just dedication and goals :) but they do not understand...-_-
  • LovingLifeInCalifornia
    LovingLifeInCalifornia Posts: 9,362 Member
    devilinsoul wrote: »
    I don't even mention tracking calories because then they look at me like crazy... but c'mon, I'm not crazy, it's just dedication and goals :) but they do not understand...-_-

    Yea. I also told them I worked out a lot and added weights and they said, "that's too much work."

    Okay then. Don't ask.
  • BozGirl
    BozGirl Posts: 333 Member
    I agree with keeping it short & sweet. My canned response has become: "Just good old-fashioned portion control and exercise." If they keep asking, I say, "Find me on My Fitness Pal & you can check out my diet & routine."
  • BigBadWolf__
    BigBadWolf__ Posts: 158 Member
    devilinsoul wrote: »
    exactly, they have no dedication in most cases... When I tell them to eat clean they are always like: so I cannot eat pizza/fast food/sweets anymore?

    I usually just smile but in my mind its like a triple-mega-facepalm :D

    Don't bother helping people who won't help themselves. There are more people in the world who want help than those that offer help. Focus on the ones who prove themselves worthy of your assistance.
  • Elise4270
    Elise4270 Posts: 8,375 Member
    edited February 2015
    Oh I'm so glad I'm not the only one that has experienced this. Its so frustrating. Its like they resent you but want you to fix them magically with no effort.

    I just offer to be available, stay the course and let their decisions be theirs.

    My husband told me "when the student is ready, the teacher will appear" so I just move on when they are not serious about change.

    Be the rock. Be like water off a ducks back. Let it roll. That's when i lean into the MFP community.
  • Alatariel75
    Alatariel75 Posts: 18,251 Member
    I agree with the "short and sweet" approach. If they're actually interested, they will ask for more information, but the ones who are only asking for the hell of it will just let it ride.
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
    edited February 2015
    I answer everyone's questions honestly. Then I don't worry about what they do or don't do. Really, I haven't experienced much negativity. Just people worrying I was going to be too thin, and wanting reassurance that I eat well. I didn't get too thin, so they stopped worrying. Sometimes they might say, "You are lucky". In those instances I know they are having a difficult time. Most of the people I spend time with are fitness oriented people, and they compliment me by saying things like, "If I looked like you, I would wear dance tights all the time". I have nice friends. I compliment them as well.
  • iwillsucceed0444
    iwillsucceed0444 Posts: 432 Member
    Throw a barbell in their face and be like "How do you like that *kitten*?!"
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
    iwillsucceed0444 wrote: »
    Throw a barbell in their face and be like "How do you like that *kitten*?!"

    Hahaha
  • Travis_2
    Travis_2 Posts: 1,445 Member
    Wut
  • tinamatteson
    tinamatteson Posts: 125 Member
    In my experience everyone is looking for some magic solution, and when I tell them that they way I am losing weight is through exercise and eating fewer calories... their eyes glaze over and they lose interest! I don't know of any other way, though.
  • devilinsoul
    devilinsoul Posts: 105 Member
    iwillsucceed0444 wrote: »
    Throw a barbell in their face and be like "How do you like that *kitten*?!"

    :D:D:D sometimes I would love to! :D

    and yes, I know a girl who has been telling me how inspirational I am and how she is going to go to the gym with me since last JUNE... it's February and she has not done anything yet. At first I was really supportive but after a few months I was so fed up... She basically wanted me to make her a food plan (and to do the workouts instead of her :D ), when I gave her an advice, she answered with stuff like "but carbs make you fat", did not show any interest in fitness and nutrition (at least she could google what IIFYM means, and finally, she was most probably thinking I had done some "magic" and did not want to share my secret :D -_-

  • snowflake954
    snowflake954 Posts: 8,399 Member
    I think alot of us have been where these people are now. When they are serious they will start. My sister-in-law mentioned MFP to me months before I looked at it. I would just give them the web site and forget it.
  • LovingLifeInCalifornia
    LovingLifeInCalifornia Posts: 9,362 Member
    tinamatteson wrote: »
    In my experience everyone is looking for some magic solution, and when I tell them that they way I am losing weight is through exercise and eating fewer calories... their eyes glaze over and they lose interest! I don't know of any other way, though.

    ^this

    I've given up explaining.
  • blueboxgeek
    blueboxgeek Posts: 574 Member
    I just tell people portion control, exercise and not quite so much chocolate and junk food.

    If people are genuinely interested and want advise I will take the time to tell them, but you can usually tell pretty quickly those who will really listen and be interested in your journey and those who just want to hear a story about a magic pill!
  • devilinsoul
    devilinsoul Posts: 105 Member
    exactly, to those who are really interested I have no problem explaining and advising... but to those who "just want to know" (out of jealousy, malice,... usually the frenemies) I seriously will not bother..
  • Spnneil06
    Spnneil06 Posts: 18,745 Member
    My bestie and I had that convo, she's a rather large lady and she wanted to know what I was doing. I told her, giving her a copy of exactly the menu I started with. She was like "well I just can't do it, I don't have the motivation. Even if I did I can't lose weigh" All the excuses in the book. Now I just don't even bother, if she wants to do it she needs to find the motivation in herself I can only tell them what I did and leave it at that.
  • devilinsoul
    devilinsoul Posts: 105 Member
    oh yes, talking about this with non-fit friends is the worst... you don't want to hurt their feelings but can't take it anymore... Personally I have come to that point when I just don't feel comfortable talking about my healthy lifestyle with certain people :|
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