We broke up because...
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I have multiple personality disorder and she liked my other self better than me. Do you know how hard it is to be jealous of yourself?? It was playing havoc with my mental health.
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Left a moose in my room
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Ate all of my moose jerky0
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Made homemade moose jerky. That stuff stinks.0
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She hated my cooking!0
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She burned everything and called it well crispy.0
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Her idea of cooking was hungry man microwaveable dinners.0
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He thought I had bad taste in food.0
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Food no longer tasted the same when I started dating her0
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Wine was her only 'food'.0
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I clearly died and became a cricket in another life.0
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Thought he was a cricket and jumped around alot0
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Carried around a cricket who he thought was his ex.0
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Watched too much mulan0
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He can't spell at all.0
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She would use a red pen and correct my love letters to her, insulting.0
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Cuz Ladd came back!!!!! Big sigh..... And he's dreamy0
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I could never keep up! 0
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He was always trying to keep up with me and that was...well, Impossible!!!
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Yeah with which girl he was texting...he texted me and meant to be HER!!0
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She had a bigger supply of batteries...0
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He kept buying me batteries?? I was clueless what it was for.0
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She was dating my brother on the side. That wouldn't be so bad but my brother is 16 years old0
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EEK!! She lied to me about her brothers age, she told me 26.0
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Oh wow..didn't know he was 16!! OOPS....cougar!0
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Was a grammar natzi!!0
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Couldn't spell Nazi.0
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He was jealous that I could read!
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