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We broke up because...
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She has new bf.. Pedro. 😆0
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He was obsessed with toys and not the good kind 😞0
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Says the woman with special room for hers. 🤔
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He was scared of my…playroom 😝0
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She didn't include Paperboy or Dig Dug in her home 80s inspired arcade room...just had a bunch of fighting and racing games.0
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Was stuck in the past0
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Acted like she wasn't stuck in the past but kept reminding me of everything i ever did wrong
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Never owned up to doing anything wrong0
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Her eyes are still dilated and she can't see that i do no wrong0
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He analyzed how much my eyes dilated when I talked to other men...0
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She dilated to 10cm after talking to another man
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He didn’t really understand how the birds and the bees thing worked. Insisted that words would cause pregnancy. Therefore didn’t speak a word to me.0
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She wouldn't let me talk dirty to her and she kept wanting to explain the birds and the bees. I know all about bees!!!0
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Basically babbled ‘bout bees bossily0
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She was always speaking in alliteration. Literally lost love lickety-split.0
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Kept using words like "lickety-split" and "tarnation". I was beginning to think he was much older than he said he was0
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Heavens to Betsy she was a cougar. I kept hoping she'd simmer down with all that young'n courtin she was a doin.0
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Was very unimaginative when it came to verbal sparring. When he said, "I'm rubber, you're glue..." I knew it was over0
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She used crazy glue instead of massage oil when I asked for a back rub. Once the doctors separated us, I was out of there!!0
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The Dr ignored all HIPPA laws and told me that he had to separate her and @csmienk. I think they were pretty stuck on each other so.. I had to let her go0
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Was just too jealous of my friends0
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I questioned her loyalty when she invited men she met on the internet to Starbucks yet refused to get me their autograph!! ✍🏻 📕0
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(Oh, that's a good one!) 🤣
She refused to just book a flight and join me on one of my many trips to Vegas ✈️ 😁
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She only ever wanted to see me in Vegas…knowing that I dislike crowds, lights, and noise0
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Kept trying to get me to marry her in Vegas0
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His job as an Elvis Impersonator in Vegas kept him too busy to spend any time with me0
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She couldn’t just say “thank you” it had to be followed with a “thank you very much”0
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One time I told her I was breaking up with her just to scare her into loyalty. Then she went philandering all over the place. I’m not sure if it’s her playful way or getting back at me or…0
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She was into mixed tapes, mixed drinks, and mixed messages0
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She made me a mixed tape of break up songs. No mixed message there...0
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